Frankie and Clover's Strictly Come Dancing Blog!

Double or nothing...

2011-12-10T18:32:00.016Z

Gosh, we're at the semi finals already! This series has flashed by in a, er, flash. They're already going on about Blackpool, which is always good to hear. But some things never change, will Bruce making laboured jokes and Tess in an odd dress, why haven't they finished the bottom half of it?

Harry and Aliona

Totally genius song choice there and my word, what a little outfit Aliona is wearing, they announced that women can go on Navy submarines this morning, dontcha know. And wow, a Charleston dance with some proper Charleston content, nice leg swivels and everything. Not as manic as you would normally see in a Charleston, but Harry did actually look like he was enjoying himself! Not sure about a 39 though...

Strictly-come-Steamboat-Willie. Not sure what the nautical themed costumes were about but I do agree with Frankie (as Alesha agrees with Len) about the song choice being somewhat genius. I fainted with shock when this started as I did not expect to see charleston steps in the charleston. What on earth were they thinking? Is it a dance competition? Well blow me down with a jewel-encrusted samba bum feather.

Alex and James

Alex looks beautiful, proper old-school Strictly waltz dress there. And what a lovely, classy dance too. Not much to say about a waltz, not technically perfect, but such a difference to what she was like at the start. I've really liked Alex throughout the series, she's such good fun!

Yes, she's lovely and Welsh and pretty and yer know. But she's a Carol Smilie, she's a...Jodie Kidd. They improve to a point and get quite far...but never far enough.

Chelsee and Pasha

She had a big task ahead of her after the jive but I LOVED this. The choreography from Pasha was brilliant, it wasn't a 'traditonal' Hollywood American Smooth but there was a great mix of steps and they didn't ruin it with massive lifts. As yes, amazing fluidity in not just her arms but her own body. An 8 from Criag was ridiculous considering what he's given 9s to this series.

Liked the Barbie blue princess dress. Didn't seem particularly American or particularly smooth to me. Ok, it was smooth. Like peanut butter. Mmm. Now that is American. Mmm. Now where was I...?

Holly and Artem

The wardrobe people really hate Holly, don't they? Was waiting for her to fall over at the end of the dance considering how many times she got spun around. Didn't really think there was enough content in this, where were the jigsaw legs? Although some good technique and nice lines. Artem appears to have gone to the James Jordan School of Latin Facial Hair.

I went to that school! Oh no, wait....I actually thought this was quite good. But yet still, she has appears not to connect. The moves were there but the mood was not.

Jason and Kristina

Oh god, a semi final samba, the stuff that nightmares are made of. At least Kristina is wearing a teeny tiny spanglicious dress with one of those shower pouffe skirts, which somehow Jason managed to miss in the compulsory skirt-wafting section! Then halfway through he seemed to have a seizure and become a drunkle uncle at a wedding. Dance of doom...

Oh. Dear. Gawd. This was another dance of Jimi Mistry spasmy awkwardness. Not good enough for a semi-final I'm afraid. But then the samba is the dance of doom (just ask Brenda) Jason was hit by the curse of trying too hard. And it made him look like a Phoebe Buffay mid electric shock.

Here we go again....

Harry and Aliona

No props, no waving your arms about, turns and fleckerl and a beautiful song - just what the jimminy is going on?! I think that is the first time I have ever said jimminy. Seriously though, it was proper good, like.

Mmm yes a dance with dancing in it. Someone is controlling Aliona's brain. The only person with that kind of ability is Erin. Now we just need to know why she's doing it.

Alex and James

Pointless intro, but what an a-ma-zing dress! Not sure if this was a salsa, I'm sure Clover will tell you, but it was a bit all over the place. Was very impressee that she handled the spinning around on the floor bit so well, yes, I know you all read this blog for my technical analysis of the choroegrpahy!

For the good of the entire human race, I'm not going to comment on this 'dance' .

Chelsee and Pasha

The opening VT showed that Chelsee is the one with the best j-word this series. The fan was a mistake, totally distracting throughout the dance, I was waiting for her to put it down the whole time. Other than that, it was great, Pasha with great choreography yet again. Loved the flamenco touches and the sharpness.

Oooh. Loved the flamenco sections. This was intricate and powerful at the same time. The authentic music added to the mood. Chelsee has come further than any other contestant. A worthy finalist and dare I say it...a worthy winner?

Holly and Artem

Seriously, what has Holly done to make wardrobe hate her so much? Charleston is also not a good dance for the semi finals; I like the fact that Artem took a risk in the choreogrpahy, but the combination of the two meant that it didn't really work. Holly was behind a couple of times. Loving how Alesha said she liked the DJ bit, probably contractually obligied as a 'down wit the kidz' attempt.

Liked this twist on charleston. The dance was still there. Well, it would have been if Holly had been in time at all. Which she wasn't. It's curtains for Holly (curtains, valance, geddit?) I guess she was just a pretty face after all.

Jason and Kristina

Slightly distracted by the shade of teak Kristina's legs have been painted this evening, but a fabulous dress nonetheless. Really liked the routine, the way it started out subtle and then built. However, with the lack of eyes and teeth Jason did start getting a bit serial-killer-esque, but what's an AT without drama!

Overplayed, camp and almost grotesque. But it worked. Who'd have thunk it?

Are we at the end now? I'm exhausted! No idea who is going to go now either, seems like Chelsee and Harry must go though, but who else?

Jason. Well we know that now. But Harry or Chelsee to win depending on who does the best dances next week- could be any - just can't call it this time!

Movie mayhem

2011-12-04T21:41:00.018Z

It's movie week, that's right you lucky people, the least-worst of the themed weeks! Plus we get a delightfully kitsch opening number from the pros, was Bruno supposed to be Flavia's dad at the end? The mind boggles... Also, it appears that Erin's job is now to stand in Tess' area looking elegant in a gorgeous dress just to show other people up.

Robbie and Ola

Ah, when I think of Saturday night family entertainment I always think of Reservoir Dogs. If anyone can beat the curse of trousers/menswear it's Ola, also loving how they couldn't resist the spangle on the jackets. Robbie is better at ballroom, but the quickstep is super-difficult. Not too bad really, definitely better than his last two so-called latin numbers. I want to use Craig favourite quickstep word 'skippy', so there you go. Is it just me who has noticed Robbie has reeeeeally skinny legs?

Harry and Aliona

Alas, the green tights did not make it to the Saturday night show, he looks a bit like a half-hearted jedi knight actually. Plus the VT strayed into Monty Python levels of surrealism. All of which seemed to detract from the fact we seem to have seen a rare example of the lesser-spotted good male rumba! He was leading, he didn't gurn too much and got on with it without seeming scared. Aliona also looked like she was wearing sparkly knickers.

Alex and James

Not wearing the hooker outfit, not wearing the polo outfit, she instead, quite sensibly, goes for the opera outfit. I'm sure there's some people out there disappointed at the lack of PVC boots. There was a hairy moment with stumbling, but I was more worried James was about to spin her into the table at one point. Also enjoying the glamorisation of prostitution, movie week isn't very wholesome!

Holly and Artem

At first I thought Artem had been in some sort of horrible hair-related accident, but other than that this could have been a paso from any week. Which I like. Totally one of Holly's best, she seemed to put a lot more oomph in it than usual. Maybe less Cruella de Ville lipstick next time, but well done for her for pulling it out of the bag. I'm actually amazed there wasn't a sword prop involved, or some sort of dodgy accents....

Jason and Kristina

Well they both look perfect, I only hope this is better than Christine Bleakley's painfully slow Singing in the Rain AS a few years ago. And guess what, it was, I think Jason's got his mojo back after a few off weeks. Slightly spoilt at the end by Jason's massive gurn (this seems to be my word of the week), but other than that it was a lovely routine and good lifts. Although I am getting a bit wary of the idea of Jason doing an Argentine tango, how do you put eyes and teeth into that one..?

Chelsee and Pasha

Well Pasha drew the short straw this week, was he even offered the chance to draw a straw?! And O-to-the-M-to-the-G, where did that donkey come from?! But really who cares, once they started dancing I was only looking at Chelsee. Bejesus, look at those legs go! Jill Halfpenny skill meets the effervescence of Louisa Lytton (ooh, that's a long word). Plus she seemed to be having the time of her life, big smiles all round.

Strictly AW: After Wembley

2011-11-26T18:57:00.012Z

So after all the excitement of SCD at Wembley we return to the studio. After Blackpool (A.B.) episodes have often been terrible (remember Ronnie Corbett? We try not to), so we shall see if Wembley is the same. But then again, Blackpool is obviously better than Wembley. Duuh.

Tonight Tess is looking less frumpy than usual, but also like she's trapped in her Malibu Barbie incarnation again. Karen is increasingly looking like she's locked in the SCD attic like Mr Rochester's wife, get her out of there and on to the panel!

Anita and Brendan

It's rent-a-pro! I was really hoping for a use of the Rentaghost theme-tune. Feeling very sorry for poor Robin and his icky foot. Not sure about her dress, it looks like the ran out of fabric and dodgy-flesh colour was the only one left. Not too sure about this dance, all the steps were there but it all just seemed really slow. Points for doing the middle section on her own though.

Firstly, congrats to those who got #rentapro trending. (Who remembers Rentaghost? Is it the same thing? We were too young, guys, pssyyyccche.) Not sure that anyone other than professional contortionists should wear nude bodystockings covered only in Swarovski. Probablynotanitaski. This would have been a good cha cha. In week one. Please guys, I know she's enjoying it but just draw your eyes away from that hypnotising smile - the technique ain't pretty.

Holly and Artem

Holly has come dressed for a ballroom dance, Artem has come dressed for a latin. Although it's a freeking gorgeous dress, the best Holly has probably had to make up for last week's disaster. Thought the opening on the bar was silly, but the rest of the dance seemed really dull so I won't complain too much. But then again, we should probably be happy to see some actual ballroom. Never satisfied, are we?

Frankie's observation about their costume speaks volumes. These two have never gelled. Holly worked better with Brendan. And she worked better with that lamppost. I can't remember much about this dance. Oh yeah, it was dull. But it was overmarked because it was Holly. Same as ever then. Time to go. Buh Bye.

Alex and James

Points for Alex's face alone! We really need Karen back on the show just to see her do a Charleston. I was really looking forward to this but felt a bit disappointed, there just didn't seem to be enough content. I thought it was building to something but no, it seemed like it could have had twice as many steps.

Hat on. Hat off. Hat on. Hat off. Walk. Hat on. Hat off. Hat on. Charleston step 1, 2. Charleston step 1, 2. Hat on. Oh no, it's already on. Hat off. Hat on. Hat off. Hat on. Hat off. Hat on. Gurn at camera. Jazz hands. Seriously? Though it may have been charleston in 'style', the actual charleston step with that oh-so-mentioned-oh-so-muchly 'double bounce action' was only used for two bars. And there wasn't even any bounce, never mind it being doubled. I like Alex. I didn't like this.

Robbie and Ola

Ola, as ever, looks a-ma-zing and spangle-tatsic. Oddly enough, the first half of this dance seemed to be the same 'latin' dance Robbie has done every time and then he starting bouncing around a bit, which was quite amusing, like had an invisible space-hopper. Not sure about the ripping off of clothes, but I do always like the 'wafting of the skirt' move that seems to be compulsory in the samba.

This samba might have looked like his salsa but this samba was more samba than his salsa was salsa which means his salsa was more samba than his samba was salsa. You got that? Meh.

Chelsee and Pasha

C'mon Chelsee! Wow, that was good. Proper use of the old jigsaw-legs, so much footwork in that number. It was nice to see them being so precise about it all, not a lot of messing around being 'passionate'. I am really liking Pasha as a pro and a choreographer! Also loving Chelsee's cheeky moments...

Other than the fact that she was leaning back away from Pasha as if he smelled of feet (dang, Chels, it's not a ballroom dance) this was really quite stunning. The footwork was delightfully intricate. Are we looking at one of our finalists here?

Jason and Kristina

There will be so much eyes and teeth people will be BLINDED. Kristina has also stolen the comedy headgear moment of the series with the spangly swimming cap, as debuted by Denise Lewis and never seen again. Much more energy and jigging about than Alex and James, but not quite the ZOMG-hyper-active-I'm-going-explode level of excitement I like to see in a Charleston.

Oh the judges like Jason so they forgot to mention that this had no Charleston steps in. They are like sooo professional and consistent. Um. Ok, so the footwork was fancy and there was some double bounce action, but still very little of actual charleston steps. Stoopid.

Harry and Aliona

I think they went for colour blocking with Aliona's dress, but I'm distracted because it reminds me of something I think Lilia wore with Darren Gough many years ago. And also the nicked song choice. But oh my word, there was footwork! It was in hold! There was dancing!

A recent poll in a UK Men's magazine asked which Strictly pro they would most like to see propless. They said Aliona. It is the only explanation. This was in hold, it wasn't flashy - it was, as Arlene might have described, delicious. Len's ten was deserved. Go Harry! Get back on your broom and catch the snitch again next week! Wait, wrong Harry. Go Harry! We hear Pippa's on the market again now if you're still after the sister! Win! Wait, wrong Harry again. Go Harry! Errr, dance, boy, dance! Wooooo.

Swing-a-thon

Oh dear, here we go again...There's always the hope someone will break a nose, but I'd rather have a group Viennese Waltz grand prix pile-up. Holly is in trousers because wardrobe hates her, Chelsee is Minnie Mouse. Anyone else notice Brendan doing 'How dare you throw us off' gestures from the dance-off in Grease? As ever, the whole thing was a bit of a let-down, jigging about with many lifts.

Next week we have the movie themed week, count your blessings, it's the best of the themes!

Theme week. STOP IT ALREADY.

Think BIG!

2011-11-19T18:57:00.011Z

Just in case you have had a blow to the head and are also deaf, SCD is coming at us from Wembley. And I do mean coming at us, this whole thing is an assault on all our senses! Robin Windsor in skin-tight zebra skinny jeans gyrating at us at 7pm on a Saturday night seems like a 'start as you mean to go on' tactic. And Alex Jones looks like Bambi about to be run over by a lorry.

OK, has the studio grown or have the dancers shrunk?

Robbie and Ola

Well they said they were going to go big, and I think Ola's hair can be seen from space. But hurrah for the return of the lace catsuit of oblivion. Apparently there was supposed to be a salsa dance going on in there somewhere, but since Robbie isn't very good at latin I guess it's probably a good thing we didn't notice. He was running around like a kid who'd had too much Tizer!

Despite the fact there was, like, no dancing in this, somehow it kind of worked. The size of Wembley means, I guess, that they need big moves (and yes, big hair) to fill it. I think I would have preferred the whole routine if Robbie had had his hair styled the same way as Ola's. I'm not gonna mention it wasn't salsa. It wasn't salsa. Daaang.

Alex and James

Alex looks stunning, major dress envy, I like to think she threw a strop after the frumpy cheerleader outfit last week. Alas, she did seem to have got entangled in some net curtains at the start. Also loving James' purple outfit, it makes him look like the Joker. And I don't care what anyone says, with enough eye makeup anyone can do a tango! Slightly odd song, but a proper good dance.

No, not net curtains. That's clearly giant loo paper. And since when did tango have the whole Austin-Healey-Serving-Hors-D'Oeuvres-Paso moves in it? Other than that, I liked that it actually had some dancing in it. I'm running out of jokes about men in purple suits.

Holly and Artem

Holly's dress might had been an attempt at Amy Winehouse, but it's not very flattering. Too much nude lace, especially since people are at a distance and will think she's naked! Wondering how many drugs Artem is on right now, oh, that's not very appropriate either...Great Charleston opening section and Holly really can work a flouncy skirt. The running steps weren't great, I thought she was going to have to have a lie down halfway through they were galloping so much!

In an attempt to look quirky, Holly looks like an extra from 'Heartbeat.' That is all.

Anita and Robin

Damn that recession, they can't afford buttons for Robin's shirts! This was probably the most surreal dance of the series, and that's saying something, next time I'm at a wedding I'm going to try and samba to Come on Eileen. Might have been the excess space, but Anita seemed a bit lost during it. There were eyes and teeth to the extreme, but the oddness won out for me.

Oh dear god, I hate this song. Who the fleckerl is Eileen anyway and why the hell is she never ready? And what was this dance meant to be? I missed the intro and I just couldn't tell. Oh samba? REALLY? Well, if nothing else, Anita has indeed graduated from the Dallerup-Hardy school of eyes and teeth. But at this point in the series...really???

Harry and Aliona

HEATHENS! This is a song steal of BIBLICAL proportions. And yet amazingly it was...quite good! A lot more content than Robbie's salsa and loads of gusto. Loved the Buck's Fizz/Mummy Returns dress unwinding to reveal a seriously spangle-tastic outfit. If they'd used a different song I'd have loved it. But I'm an awkward SCD fan like that...

There is no such thing as THE salsa. Oh, sorry, have I said that before? And never mind the song steal...it's a jive beat. This does not suit salsa at all. Hated it. I had flashes of Jill Halfpenny's kicks and flicks in my head that couldn't be erased. Hated it. Poor Harry.

Russell and Flavia

Flavia looks a-ma-zing! And dancing with sparklers amongst all those man-made fibres and hairspray must have been a health and safety nightmare. The canon bit was hilarious, but it was their most content-lite performance so far. I also think doing a jive when your knee could fall off at any minute must be pretty hard.

Highlight of the night. And Flavia did a nice bit of jive.

Chelsee and Pasha

There's feathers on a bum, I'm happy! The intro to this was amazing and the fact that Chelsee did it entirely on her own without any evidence of nerves was fabulous. Karen Hardy will approve. Not perfect all the way through, but she's great this girl.

Nowhere near perfect but damn, the girl is brave. As far as intros go, that was a good 'un - in front of 6000 people...didn't she do well? (Stole ya line, Brucie). It had a nice party feel. Chelsee's definitely a contender these days.

Jason and Kristina

What is poor Kristina wearing? It looks like Ola had an acid trip in the middle of an aerobics class! Jason looked oddly sedate in comparison. Too bad for the slip-ups, it could have been really good. Also finding it amusing that every dance tonight has had a 'running around for a bit' section.

Oooh bless, I liked this. He picked up after the slip ups remarkably well - and it was so footwork heavy it was hardly surprising that happened. Where can I buy that T-shirt?

So Wembley is over, I'm a bit worn out after all that sensory overload!

Nobody puts 8 in the corner...

2011-11-05T18:24:00.011Z

Well here we are, it's as if Halloween was all a bad dream. Tonight we once again dice with SCD drama with Jennifer Grey on the judging panel...

Lulu and Brendan
Lulu is wearing trousers and experience tells us that means wardrobe hates her and wants her to leave. Or maybe it was the only way of stopping her swinging her skirt around again. Loved Lulu's haughty-but-really-concentrating face, she's so expressive that it's sometimes not a good thing! Nice tango actually, fully of content an definitely improved footwork. Unfortunately it was a bit dull!

Audley and Natalie
If Natalie can't make this man do a decent VW no one can, she'll staple his hands to her if she has to. Thought it was a lovely song choice, the band were great, but the fact that the song mentions a bridge and they just had to have a bridge was hilarious! There's a line about rain, were they going to throw a bucket of water at them? Sorry, I sound really down on Audley, I'm sure he's lovely, but I have no idea what people see in his dancing!

Harry and Aliona
Wow, they actually did the dance they were supposed to, and without props! I need a lie down...Plus Aliona's dress was a-ma-zing, my favourite of the night despite the lack of feathers. Although Harry didn't look like he was enjoying himself that much, maybe we shouldn't have constantly reminded him the samba is the dance of doom.

Anita and Robin
Anita strangely reminds me of Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey in that outfit. I don't even watch Downton Abbey so I might be totally wrong. I love have they came out and just started to Charleston, bam! (Gosh, I may have been possessed by Len!) It was so vintage I wanted to watch it in black and white, whilst wearing gloves and a hat. Not her best, but certainly good fun.

Jason and Kristina
It's not to Especially For You, but I need to get over my sulk about that. Can't believe this is Kristina's first rumba, the poor woman has really paid her dues! Really lovely song, the band are on top form tonight. It held my attention, which a rumba rarely does, and I thought the judges were a bit harsh on it. He is a man doing the rumba, if they get through it still standing up they deserve praise!

Alex and James
Alex was pulling some proper Karen Hardy faces during that, nice to know she's still with us in spirit! Falling over at the end made it even more endearing, especially since James had totally run her ragged in that dance. There's a conspicuous lack of props this week, it's quite refreshing.

Robbie and Ola
The dancing was lovely, Robbie's acting was highly amusing. Great to see him working on his dancing, he really hasn't done enough ballroom yet, I hope he gets to do some more next week. Not really much more to say, it was a waltz, what do you want people?

Russell and Flavia
So THAT'S where this week's props budget went! I mentioned Anton getting a mechanical bull for Nancy weeks ago, was Russell reading this?! *waves* How Flavia got through that with a straight face I do not know. Is this up there with the Christopher Parker and John Sargent pasos? What a joy.

Chelsee and Pasha
This is the one we have been waiting for, c'mon Chelsee! It was the perfect dance for her and so much fun, although to me she looked a tad nervous and I've never seen that before from her. But since it made Jennifer put down her 8 panel it totally deserves a cheer!

Holly and Artem
Holly looks really 80s to me and I'm not sure that was the intention. Although I think it was all a conspiracy to let her do a jive in flats, but then again no one has told them suits are cursed on SCD! Really loved the choreography from Artem, something different but still obviously a jive. You could see Holly was behind Artem a bit, but nothing too disastrous. Plus the footage of Bruce dancing with her on Sunday was simultaneously hilarious and terrifying!

As for Sunday, sorry but it's bye bye Lulu, but still not good news for Audley. I guess the Curse of the SCD Trousers caught up with her, despite her dodging the Curse of the Brendan Samba and the Curse of the Suits. We are a superstitious lot all of a sudden.

Now, please, BRING BACK LEN and MAKE KAREN A JUDGE!

Beware, you're in for a scare...

2011-10-29T18:12:00.015+01:00

We enter with trepadation the terrifiying week that is Halloween SCD...not because of some panto *oooh-isn't-this-scary* thing, but because we're wondering if this can possibly be as full of plastic props, gimmicks and daft song choices as last year. Saying that, Brucie looks exactly the same and Tess looks pretty hot! Plus Craig arriving on his broomstick was a hoot!

For the sake of not sounding like a broken record, I promise that I will do my best to watch the show, to serve the readers and not to moan about any of the following: songs repeated from previous series, props, inconsistent marking or lack of actual dancing. Brownie honour.

Russell and Flavia

If there was ever a suitably crazy couple to kick off Halloween week it was these two, and with something as surreal as a samba too! Better the Devil You Know makes a brilliantly campstastic samba song for any week and woo look at the hotness of Flavia in a catsuit. And on top of all that, they did some dancing, who would have thunk? Not his best at all, but I don't care.

Dancewise, this was a bit phooey. Samba clearly ain't Russell's thang. His timing was off and it all came off as a wee bit messy. I didn't like the song choice either.

Chelsee and Pasha

This is the problem I have with themed weeks; after that amazing quickstep last week, didn't you just want to see Chelsee do a proper tango? Technically she is definitely improving, but there was no tension in it. I didn't even notice the dress malfunction until the end, it wasn't like the Lilia Samba Disaster of 2005. And shock, horror, Alesha was right, they are a great partnership and she is really coming on.

Chelsee really is coming on and given the extra things she had to think about during that routine, she actually pulled it off (resist temptation to joke there) fairly well. I like Pasha too. He seems to have the energy and enthusiasm that we first saw from Artem last year - but without Artem's arrogance (Preparing for inevitable backlash from Artemites - defence shield activated, pistols at the ready) This was nowhere near as good as her quickstep but given the circumstances, that's more than understandable. Give the girl some support. And I'm talking to the costume department there as well as the general public.

Audley and Natalie

I wasn't sure why Natalie had decided to dress herself as a particularly fabulous Poison Ivy until the song started. In fact Natalie's outfit was the best thing about it. Doing a jive is only going to be hard for Audley and the fact that it was a theme week helped them cover this up.

Frankie tweeted that Natalie (aka evil genius) arranged this entire themed week to get Audley through the inevitable mess that was always going to be his jive. Don't be so ridiculous, Frankie. What a notion! Of course that's not what happened. What happened was: Erin arranged the themed night in the hope that Audley would trip up over his own feet (despite them being so tiny an' all) in the smoke effect that seemed to be covering the entire set. I believe the next stage of her plan involved subliminally messaging Len to blame Natalie, wholly and completely, for Audley's fall and string her up by her spangly sewn-in pants to the aerial attachment that lowered Craig in that evening. However, something to do with the smoke affected Erin's ability to control Len's mind and her whole plan fell apart. It's the only explanation.

If I'm honest though, E.G.E. (Evil Genius Erin - oh we so love you now, we do), may well get her own way this evening anyway as this was so distinctly unwhelming I got distracted by a patch of wet paint drying on my wall.

Alex and James
James might be nicer these days, but he still has the eyes of a killer! Now a paso is always going to be more suited to Halloween than a samba, but using Brendan's goth samba song from seven years ago (SEVEN, I just counted!) is just lazy. Alex looked genuinely terrified, bless her. There was a paso in there for sure, but technique wasn't great. Totally overmarked.

James looked positively frightful. And I forget what Alex SoLovely Jones looked like because I was so freaked out by Mr Vampy Jordan. Oh yes, she was wafting about in a pale chiffon number and spent most of the routine looking surprised yet pained at seeing her own arms. Alex needs to build on her core strength. To me, she looks as though she's about to topple over most of the time and although she is going through the moves, it's like her limbs aren't really connected to her middle. Or like she has little energy in them. I have no idea what to suggest. Perhaps pilates. Or pie, chips and gravy. For the carbs, like.

Holly and Artem

Goregous costumes and a genuinely interesting idea. I was properly surprised when they actually did some dancing in hold, but it only lasted for about five seconds so I got over it. I love how we can judge on the American Smooth even though it's a totally made-up dance. Oh hang on, that's what overmarking looks like...

Alesha loved the concept. Probably this was because this was the dance that has the least to do with Strictly that has ever been on the show. And Alesha don't know nuffink about nuffink. The music and costumes were beautiful - and on another show, the choreography would have been OK. But 'American Smooth' (even if it were a real dance rather than a dance style - grr grr) isn't an excuse to do whateverrr you want - you don't - or shouldn't earn that right until you reach the final and get to perform a showdance. I wasn't all that impressed with Holly's performance either. She just seems to be going through the motions. She is so passive it is like the dance is something she's allowing to happen to her rather than something she is actively engaging in. She is winning points for a perception that is never going to become reality. And that is not fair.

Nancy and Anton

There's nothing better than a rumba between two people who probably hate each other. Also quote of the year "The coffin needs to be sparkly". Shockingly, there was a lot rumba content in there, whether is was done well is a different matter. Keeping with the Halloween theme Anton resurrected his sparkly Widdecombe pants and was prompty buried in them.

Forgive me for smirking at Nancy emerging from the coffin and taking a swig from that goblet. It reminded me of Karen from Will & Grace. That is all.

Harry and Aliona

After the 50% waltz last week, maybe we can get up to around 75% tango this week? Wishful thinking, this week's excuses for not being in hold include sitting down and holding masks. Len said what we are all thinking, Harry is really good when he's doing the dance he's supposed to. I'm getting bored of this week after week!

Remember when Hershey's chocolate Kissables could not longer be called chocolate because they didn't have enough chocolate/cocoa content? This is the same. This was not a tango. It was, like, tango candy. Full of rubbish and no good for you. Sort it, Aliona.

Robbie and Ola

Robbie is dressed as a member of My Chemical Romance, while Ola is a goth Red Indian, Halloween week continues its never ending parade of randomness. Ola was brave for giving him so much content on his own, but the standard really wasn't good and I'm worrying he's losing momentum.

Ola looked as though she might break into the children's classic 'Pow wow, pow wow, we're the men of the old Dun Cow' (moo?) either that or she was looking for a bit part in Pocahontas The Musical. Yay for content, nay for technique. Robbie is a ballroom man so he may have a week or two left...but can't see him surviving a samba.

Anita and Robin

I do love Robin's super-high trousers and Anita's crazy faces. This was actually a tango; she's mastered learning a dance and then performing it, rather than the other way round. Slightly worried she might get forgotten in all the excitement of the rest of the show.

Kudos for Robin and the content. But I am getting mightly scared by Anita's manic faces. Yes, she's not doing so badly but she's not as good as some are making her out to be. It's Robin's choreography that is winning this corner.

Lulu and Brendan

If you were a celeb on SCD and someone said to you "go on, do some flying, Ann Widdecombe did it!" would you consider that a great idea? Brendan is amazing at the paso and that showed up the fact that Lulu basically had no idea what she was doing and was just waving her arms about. I did enjoy Brendan's Edward Cullen hair.

Put your right arm in, your right arm out, your right arm in and waft it all about. You do the hokey cokey, Brendan drags you round. And that's what it's all about. Meh.

Jason and Kristina

Well after all the crazyness of the night I found this quite delightful. Kristina managed the amazing feat of having Jason dancing as if he was in hold while he was out of hold, Len will be so impressed! He is also a master of eyes and teeth, which I am a big fan of. Jason really could be on to a winner here...did I say that too early?

Hippity hoppity, bibbity bobbity, skippity, pippity boo. Kristina, my my, there was quickstep in this quickstep. What a revelation. I enjoyed this. Didn't deserve a ten (sorry I had to bring that up - who's for a Twitter campaign for hiding Alesha's 10 paddle?) but other than that THANK GOODNESS FOR JASON. Strictly clearly needs a good neighbour.

If You Wanna Make It, Twinkle While You Shake It

2011-10-25T21:24:00.009+01:00

With hope in my heart, a song in my soul, and thoughts of such delights as bunnies and bobbypins and balloons, I sat, eagerly anticipating this week's Strictly Come Dancing. Nay, scratch that, I was actually sitting at my laptop (on Twitter for those of you in the know) typing actually with my fingers crossed ('tis possible you know) in the hope that this week's dancing would make up for that farce-of-a-themed-show last week. Did it? Not really, no. But, as they say in the biz, on with the show.

Hey kids, I'm back! Thanks to Clover for keeping the place so sparkly-ship-shaped. Slightly taken about by Tess' 70s wallpaper dress already.

Jason and Kristina
There was very little Spanish about Jason's line: unfortunately, it was more tatties than tapas. The poor lamb was stomping about like an angry toddler in a Christmas cracker costume. I spotted toe leads and balletic arms, neither of which are gonna be great for a paso, but in contrast, may spell good things for his rumba. Let's hope. He's definitely a trier. But this just wasn't his dance. And that's allowed. But does anyone know why he finished the routine with the Scout salute? Confused me. Dib dib dib.
I probably shouldn't admit it, but I loved the Big Fat Gypsy Wedding tango last week. And you can't beat a bit of Queen and leopard print on a Saturday night. Didn't really think the routine was up to much until the skirt action, which had me in suspense as to whether we were going to have a Spanish Buck's Fizz moment. Perfectly acceptable dance, but not as exciting as I'd hoped.

Alex and James
Alex looked hawwwt. The rumba kinda didn't though, which was a shame. Listen to me, I'm sounding like I'm trying to make out I know, like, every-uh-thing about dance (which I certainly don't - I know as much as the average Joe - and slightly less than the average Bill) but years of watching SCD does rub off on one slightly doesn't it? I think your average fan over the series will have picked up on the fact that in the rumba and cha cha, the toe lead creates zat elusive 'heep action' that Bruno was chunnering on about. This was sadly missing with Alex. But I still like this pair, am glad they are still in and wish them well for next week.
Unless you're going to be amazing at the rumba, the best thing to do is just to survive it. And all whilst looking amazing in a catsuit and dancing to a horrible song, well done Alex! A four was well harsh Craig, innit.

Rory and Erin
Ack. There was some cringeworthy Jimi Mistry like body movement here. Which often results from a non-latino trying to move in a latino-ish way. This was a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy with poor Rory - he had convinced himself that a wee Scot from Edinburgh would never be able to do it. So he didn't. Even the music was shouting at him over and over 'DANCE TO THE MUSIC' and again, he didn't. Erin will be gutted of course. The glitterball out of her grasp yet again. Of course, she will have plenty more time now to devote to bringing down her arch-nemesis Natalie Lowe. Campaign for a good partner next year for Erin please! In her 10th series, just let her win.
Oh dear, Erin was in denial about how good this cha cha could be. I guess Rory has the curse of Man Not Very Good At Latin, but MNVGAL isn't a good acronym. At least Erin's frock was rather nice, and we still love Rory. (Noooooo! I've just seen that Rory went out this week, I am outraged!)

Audley and Natalie
Audley had to channel his inner Billy Elliott for that ballet task this week. What do you mean boxers don't do ballet? It is a bit like ballet. You have to be light on your feet, agile and strong. OK, there's no music and you have to throw a few punches but we can overlook those tiny details. But that's by the by. I counted six bars before Audley did anything other than stand up and grin cheesily at Natalie. Yet les judges said nothing. Gah, shurrup self, this actually was an improvement and a good effort. Natalie was dressed in a proper shower poof princess dress and span around a tad too much but yeah, it wasn't so bad. I guess.
There was spinning and sparkles, but that was about it. Sorry, but I can't bring myself to get excited about Audley. Totally overmarked!

Nancy and Anton
First of all. Hurrah. Paso Doble music. Great. Nancy is also great at drapery. That is, flinging herself dramatically at Anton. It actually looks good. The bits that involved her feet connecting with the floor weren't quite so successful. There seemed to be an element of goose-stepping-crossed-with-sleep-walking to her movement. Anton's playing it for laughs as usual which may not be completely fair - but let's face it, Nancy was counting out loud, she's never going to win, so she might as well have a laugh. And blow me down and Coup de Pique me to Peckham, she actually smiled at the end of this one.
Loving watching Nancy wander around a field of cows in leather trousers, I also love the way she seems to forget she's on TV and starts prattling on about nothing in particular. Not sure what was going on with the arm and skirt, looked like it was in a splint or something. Although, to be fair, at least Anton did try and choreograph a paso, rather than sitting her on a mechanical bull or something.

Lulu and Brendan
Nice to see Lulu enjoying herself a bit more - and it showed in her performance. Perhaps she liked the choon. Didn't get the whole running up the stairs thing. Perhaps they got confused and thought it was Halloween week and decided to play the dumb-blonde-in-movie-what-runs-up-stairs-and-gets-stabbed-by-psycho. Who knows? And Brendan broke the curse of Samba! I'm pretty sure Frankie might have been the first to point that out to him when she bumped into him at a tube station a few years ago.
Oh crikey, I'd forgotten I'd mentioned the samba to him all that time ago. I had to go all the way back to Natasha to think of a good one! Certainly one of Lulu's best, despite the lack of feathers and her rather odd addiction to her flinging her skirt about - just wait for the paso.

Holly and Artem
And once again, Holly looked more comfortable dancing with the pole/lamp-post than with Artem. There, yet again, was just not enough waltz for something calling itself a waltz here. Viennese or otherwise. I can't call it a waltz. It will have to be a Viennese something else. Perhaps a biscuit. And when the fleckerl are we going to see a fleckerl?
Why were they wandering around lamp posts like she was doing her cycling proficiency test? No attempt at a fleckerl either. Len's repetition of 'yeah, it was alright (me awld mucker etc)' said it all really. Anyone else thinking people will get bored of this you've-got-potential-but-haven't-lived-up-to-it soon?

Chelsee and Pasha
Now I usually despise opening segments and themes but this was nifty and succinct. It got to the point straight away and fitted right in with la musica. And, this is, on the whole, my favourite dance of the series so far. By (air) miles. I am a bit of a sucker for a quickstep it seems but this one was very, very nice. Nippy - she seemed to be dancing on a bed of needles (ouchies) - and full of vim and vigour. The best word I can think of to describe it is 'twinkly'. I likes.
Crikey that was good! Silly opening, but it was over quickly and then it was a proper fabulous quickstep! There wasn't even any gapping, and I love it when Clover gets to shout about gapping. I really wanted to watch it again, this girl is far from dull. When does Waterloo Road finish, follow my Winning Formula and lose the day job Chelsee!

Harry and Aliona
Who else thinks Aliona is trying to use Strictly to break into acting or sumfink else? It's all about her and it's getting annoying. Harry did a good job but it was no way in a squillion-me-jillion years was it worth a ten. A TEN. IS Alesha flibberty-gibberty-CRAZY? Len was right, the first half was quites delightful but the second, no no. But Harry is gonna be gooood. I think we may, along with Chelsee and Jason, be looking at our top three now. Holly who?
Last week he didn't do a jive, the week before he didn't do a foxtrot, so I was quite happy to see at least an attempt at a waltz. But what is Aliona's obsession with spinning around waving your arms in the air? The first half was Harry's best so far, I feel like he's been totally over-rated and think they just want to keep the young man in (someone take Alesha's 10 away). It's not his fault, he can actually dance!

Anita and Robin
This was classy and smooth. But it didn't really stick in my head and it was grossly over-marked. (And I swore to myself I wasn't going to mention that damned irrational scoring on Saturday...ah well...) My major concern in this routine was whether Frankie would object to those semi-sleeves she was wearing or whether she'd consider them more a kind of Mary Portas armery. It was a much more flattering costume than we've been used to with Anita and she did look lovely. And extra points for the heel turns. Take it from someone who tried a couple of times (and fell over repeatedly), it's not easy.

I still can't get over Robin's hair from last week, bring it back for Halloween! And yes, the sleeve shrug thing did confuse me, it was like she'd forgotten to take her jacket off. Very nice routine, but I could have used a little more razzmatazz. Craig is right though, she's such a pro and it's great to see someone loving it so much.

Robbie and Ola

Oh I do like him. And I like Ola. But I didn't like this jive. It had no spring in it. Weeell, it was fun, I guess but I haven't much more to say about this. Sorry guys. Meh.

Well I rather liked it, and can we talk about how spangle-licious Ola's frock was! Thought he showed just as much gusto as Chelsee even if the dance overall wasn't as good. I like these people who are fearless and go for it. Plus a few weeks ago you would have thought a Robbie Savage jive would be a total car crash.

Russell and Flavia

Mama Rose and Gypsy Rose Lee - another cracking performance. And the advice given in that oh-so-famous musical that says you gotta get a gimmick - no, you don't, if yer can dance yer don't need all those props. But I guess if you're Russell, you'd think why not? If you're gonna do it, do it with a horn. Oh no, wait, it was Lulu with the trumpets wasn't it? Russell, you did it with finesse, my dear.
Pahahaha, I love these two, you always need a couple who might collapse in giggles at any moment. A bit more subdued than their other dances, but at least Russell is learning to dance. Also Flavia seems to have put her staccato little foot down this year and demanded decent dresses, good for you!

Strictly Come Muck About with Props

2011-10-15T22:02:00.010+01:00

First of all, you'll have to put up with just-little-me this week as Frankie is sunning herself (well as much as someone paler than an actual ginger can do - haha, sowwy Frankie!) in Florida. Second of all, if you know me but at all (or follow us on Twitter) you'll know that I despise OH TO MY VERY CORE themed Strictly weeks. I was so upset by the Halloween special last year I couldn't even bring myself to blog. That bad. And if you're sick of my ranting from last week's salsa post, I'm sorry, I can't promise this one will be any better. But for the sake of my own sanity, I'm hardly going to mention the amount danced out of hold, the length of the introductions, the re-using of music from previous series, the overmarking or those *%$% *&%$ $%^&$ ing props. Now that's out my system, on the with the show.

Holly and Artem

Like a literal translation of La Cage Aux Folles, Holly was gripping the bars of the cage like an inmate of Bedlam. Well ok, the twiddly bit inside the bars didn't actually seem so bad. She seemed more comfortable dancing with that cold, hard steel than she did once she got into hold with Artem. Not sure what that says about him. I think they danced about 3 bars actually in tango hold. And that was a bit Lulu in the draggy department. But it didn't matter because she was wearing a wig. And that was what clearly got them points. Only explanation.

Dan And Katya

Er, what did they dance again? Oh yes. I sort of remember now. He is tall and wore a sparkly waistcoat worthy of John Virgo on Big Break. I give them three weeks tops.

Anita and Robin

First of all, Anita's costume was as saccharine-sickly as the synthetic middle of a Krispy Kreme. There is something sinister about a woman of her age dressing like a ragdoll. Especially as it appears to be on a regular basis. A little jive content at least but unfortunately, due to that gaudy pink and stampy nature, most of it did just look like a bottle of Pepto Bismol bumping down the stairs.

Alex and James

Simple and elegant, Alex SoLovely Jones looked like a Disney princess. This routine displayed a rare bit (rarebit, geddit, she's Welsh...groooan) of traditional choreography which was utterly butterly delightful. I think all that electrocution in training has taken its toll on James' hair - and I'm not quite sure why he decided to dress as Professor Plum from Cluedo - but as far as tonight's dances go, it was definitely Alex, in the ballroom, with the Glitterball.

Rory and Erin

Erin vs. Natalie The Quickstep-off Part One. Swords out, duelling pistols ready. This was very classy and I love this couple. If I were to be harsh, (who me?) I'd say that Erin's dress looks like the offspring of a swan and a doily. But as far as hybrids go, that's a very pretty pairing. Rory has the potential to be a good dancer. He approaches each performance with character and gumption. Who'd have thunk I'd ever be rooting for almost-certainly-super-spy Erin?

Lulu and Brendan

It's Professor Snape! No, it's a Gregorian Monk! No, it's, uh, Brendan. In a cape and looking intense. Because it's a rumba, innit. Lulu, dressed as mint humbug, didn't do so badly - although all that smoke was sneakily covering up her footwork. The day Len does not penalise an illegal lift is the day I'll stew my socks and eat them for breakfast. Wait. Jeez. Has the world gone mad? Hosiery on toast for me.

Nancy and Anton

I liked the cheeky song choice. And as much as Anton can annoy me sometimes, this really was a little bit of light relief. Yes, he was dragging Nancy round like a suitcase at Stansted but the music and the dress and the choreography - and Anton's facial expressions - all made up for a minute or so of entertainment. And a little giggle snort. And I so needed that.

Audley and Natalie

OK, I just have to get this off my chest: I have been known to mishear these lyrics as 'I like to poo with my baby tonight'. Which is just sick and wrong but there you go. Their intro was more salsa than their salsa. This wasn't bad but it wasn't great. It didn't have the class or panache of Rory's and it all seemed a bit lazy. But I do believe he's probably quite a good dancer if he could be bothered trying a bit more. Does anyone know what size feet he has? Erin 1 Natalie 0.

Robbie and Ola

The only theatrical excuses for use of a chair involve Fraulien Sally Bowles performing Mein Herr or that scene with Eddie in A View from the Bridge. As Robbie is neither Berlin Call girl nor Sicilian immigrant, I can't reconcile myself with its purpose in this performance. I was willing him to gimme gimme gimme (haha) something positive to say but even in hold, it was all a little wooden. Much like the chair. Ola's costume was fabulous though, in a kind of Esmerelda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame way.

Russell and Flavia

Not quite the joke contestant we all thought he might be, Russell actually, genuinely can dance. Song of course, was as camp as tent peg dipped in glitter and served with a raspberry dacquiri, but that's Russell to the nth degree. He has musicality and showmanship and a partner who, despite using the odd prop, actually seems happy to choreograph a bit of actual dance into their routines. Loved this like whoopie pies.

Jason and Kristina

Oh, call me a stickler for tradition but the technique in this was so good I was in actual physical pain (well, maybe I slightly exaggerate) wishing that this was an actual tango. Because a disco tango - well it's as bizarre as that Star Wars one from Dancing with the Stars a few seasons ago. I just don't get it. What are we to expect next? A Macarenacha-cha? A Pop and Lockstrot? Jason breaking out into The Running Man mid Viennese Waltz? Nothing would surprise me now. I'm not saying this wasn't good - just can you imagine how good an actual tango-y tango of his would be? And now we'll never see it.

Chelsee and Pasha

She is a little fizzy bath bomb of energy like Louise Lytton. And like Louisa, she doesn't seem able to control it. Yet. I think Frankie would approve of the pinky orangy fringing on her costume and we can only assume that she's now made friends with the wardrobe department. Perhaps she bought them cake. Slightly confused how Craig can call this 'too disco' after he's just seen someone dance a tango - A TANGO - to 'I Will Survive'. Think he has had a bump to the noggin.

Harry and Aliona

Meh. I am bored now. I was bored by this point of the show. Were they trying to save the best until last? It didn't work. First of all, Harry did appear to forget his top. Which was slightly careless of him. And I'm surprised that with all that faux hair combing and gel in there, his hand didn't get stuck to his head mid flick. That would have been the highlight of the show.

Ruffles, scuffles and randomness!

2011-10-08T17:43:00.025+01:00

It's that time of the week again, hope you're getting into a SCD routine because we're in for a long night with two full hours of sparkles! Will Brucie survive this long? Tess is dressed as Strictly Barbie again this week, but gotta love the glitz! This is probably the longest intro ever, wake me up when it's over...In other news the dress designers appear to have taken some acid this week.

Chelsee and Pasha

Laughing at Bruce's pyjama bottoms comment, what has the poor girl done to deserve some of the outfits they've put her in so far? Top half is really nice mermaid-chic, bottom half looks like an accident with a polar bear (later @scdmobile called them 'llama legs', which is hilarious but I cannot take credit for). But my word this girl can shake it! She might be my 'gusto' contestant already, not sure how salsa it actually was, but thought her footwork was really good.

OK. So less salsa, more ketchup. I'm not slating her dancing but this routine was about as latin as a baked spud. Why why why why why won't the producers allow some actual. latin. music? (I know I say the same every year) This was a tad bouncy but it was enthusiastic at least - no one can expect to be great at this dance after one week's training. But more ranting: if they played an actual latin/salsa/Cuban/whateveraslongasit'snot****ingpopmusic track, I think the talented contestants would move their bodies in a more authentic way just naturally because of the way the music feels. Chelsee possibly would have been one of those who could. Shame for her really. I'm not even going to comment on the pants. That is all.

Edwina and Vincent

What is that on the side of her head, it might take out Vincent's eyebrow and I'm sure he has it insured for a lot of money. Omg John Prescott is in the audience, this is all getting a bit surreal. Oh look props, kill me now, dancing whilst sitting down is not excused. Len was right to call them out on it, maybe he can be super-grumpy with it this year. Vincent, on the other hand, looked faaabulous dahling.

And here we are again with a second year of tangotrots? Well, for the intro at least. And the intro went on for 75% of the routine. BBC, BBC, please can I be paid to sit at a table and point my toe? I'll get over my fear of being on film for that. Lazy, wee Vincent, lazy. And Edwina appears to have been taking headgear advice from Beatrice and Eugenie. Someone needs to have words with her about that.

Audley and Natalie

Audley looks like he's wearing a Star Trek uniform, if it was a red one he'd go out first (will anyone get a Star Trek-SCD-crossover joke?). Great song choice from Natalie, and fair play to her, I thought she was going to have to stand on a box to do some arm-work with him. Don't really know what people are seeing with Audley, just seems like a typical awkward sportsman to me.

I don't get the joke, sorry. And no, not a good song choice. This was not salsa in any shape or form. As Bruno said, it would have been a great disco-esque hustle. The costumes didn't help. And I disagree, I think Audley can dance. And would have danced a good salsa. And would have enjoyed it. SORT IT OUT.

Alex and James

Now here is someone looking nice, Alex looks lovely and old-style glamour. Oh crikey a prop and kissing John Prescott, am I actually awake or am I having some sort of odd dream following a blow to the head? Gotta love James for choosing Have You Met Miss Jones, plus the band did a great job of it. Would have liked a bit more in hold, but it was pretty good.

And here, what a fantastic song choice. Though I'm sick of all this out-of-hold nonsense. It all looks the same to me. On the whole though, this was a great attempt and Alex so lovely Jones is so lovely. Soooo lovely. I think she's going to be a ballroom girl but that's OK, most people are better at one over the other. I also think she's breaking away from the Christine Bleakley associations - I think Alex is going to be better.

Dan and Katya

He's my dark giraffe and I get the feeling they forced him to wear that pink spangly bowtie at the last minute. Has no one told him bowties are cool? This was getting quite dad-dancing-esque and then all of a sudden he did the criminal Dominic Littlewood bum bongo move! This was never going to be great, but there were some brave lifts in there, it could have been worse. Oh yeah, and the music had nothing to do with the salsa.

Can I rant about the music again? Seriously, I'm not even suggesting that they play authentic salsa or authentic Cuban (can you imagine the OUTCRY there would be if that happened? Sarcasm over.) ...just something vaguely LATIN would do, ffs. In fact, ditch 'THE' salsa (more on that pesky definite article later) and just do a hustle round instead. Because that's what's happening. The moves are not 'salsa', the music is not 'salsa' and it all comes across as camp as a sparkly pink tent on a sparkly pink campsite in the middle of Blackpool. Again, the outfits didn't help.

Lulu and Brendan

Will she remember the steps? Will Brendan drag her around? Will she choke to death on one of the feathers from Nancy's boa that wants to strangle her? Oh look a mirror, because that's not bad luck in theatre at all...This was obviously better than last time, but it looked like Brendan had an iron grip on her so she couldn't get away. It's all just a bit odd - oh put that 7 away Alesha!

Yes, at points Brendan was holding her up and dragging her around like a prop from Puppetgate 2005. But good work, Brendan, credit to ya, as it didn't look half bad. Unlike last week. Wot really did. This was moody but delicate and not like I'd imagine a foxtrot at all - so any ballroom aficionados out there may feel as ranty about this as I do about salsa - but this really did seem to play to her strengths.

Holly and Artem

Not liking cha cha followed by salsa, tsk BBC, it's not just all about Holly in a little dress. But I can obviously forgive that when bright blue feathers on the bum come into it! Well done for Artem for actually bothering to do a dance that looked like a salsa. A bit hesitant in places, but she seems like our reliably good girl for the series.

Yes, tsk. If they do latin one week, the should do ballroom the next. End of.

Oh no, not quite, I have some more stuff to say. Oh, a latin track. Yes, hiphop mixed up with samba. Yes samba. The clue is in the lyrics. At least it wasn't camp disco but the bouncy nature of a track such of this - especially the band's arrangment of this track - made it have a (ballroom) sambalike quality. Why wasn't this track used for a samba later on in the series? WHY WHY? Anywaaay. My first reaction was that this wasn't that great but on my second watch, I liked it a tad more. Artem definitely does seem more at home with salsa-esque type dancing than some of the other pros and this routine didn't have as many moves just whipped from samba routines. Loved the costume.

Rory and Erin

My word Erin looks salsa-rific, sparkly bra and pants with a shower pouffe as a skirt. Too bad they had to re-use an iconic SCD song, grrrr. Yet more political-surrealism, I never thought I'd see Rory Bremner shimmy in John Prescott's face, it's beyond satire! Yep, it really wasn't good, but we really need them to stay.

Shock! Horror! I don't have a particular problem with this track. This is about as salsa as Strictly gets - it's English language so not 'alienating' anyone (nonsense, btw) but the arrangement is at least latin in flavour. Oh wait, I do have a problem with it. Matt danced his iconic dance to this and so reusing it just seems, well, wrong. However I actually think this was undermarked. Rory was in time and appeared to be leading Erin and for a week of training, that is extremely good - Len's right, it's not a natural dance for British people - Rory though, message to you, I think you should join a salsa class - you'd like it!

Robbie and Ola

He really is a beautiful horse. Why an umbrella, WHY? That's bad luck too, why not just run around shouting Macbeth and dance under a ladder the whole time. Not sure the choreography is going with this, when Robbie actually does some dancing he seems to do it pretty well! Great showmanship though and actually a bit of musicality starting to show through. Ola's scream at a 7 from Craig was so cute!

OK, so his theme tune should be 'My Lovely Horse' from that episode of Father Ted? Ola, quickstep song please. (To listen, go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzYzVMcgWhg ) It would be perfect. Do it. I don't know why you're confused about the umbrella though Frankie, clearly Ola uses it to shield the blinding. white. light. bouncing. off. his. teeth. On the whole, I really liked this. Most improved dancer of the week. Kudos.

Anita and Robin

Anita is dressed as a waitress from the Cafe 80s in Back to the Future 2, while Robin is off to the circus AND they're dancing to the song from Beetlejuice, when will this madness end?! This was hilariously good fun though, couldn't help but giggle. Love the relationship between these two, they're obviously having the best fun. Totally over-marked, but what the hell.

Has Gwen Stefani hijacked the studio and thrown up on the set? It is the only fathomable reason I can think of to explain why Anita was dressed like a school girl from the Harajuku district of Japan. Again, this track would have been better suited to a samba. Again, these moves would have been better suited to a samba. Oh ffs, what's the point? But yes, if Rory was undermarked then this was definitely overmarked.

Jason and Kristina

Jason is dressed as Robin Windsor on his way to Oktoberfest. This kept me entertained until they got into hold, which took about two years. Kristina looked freeking amazing too. There was some pretty good foxtrot stuff in there but not nearly enough of it.

If I'm not going to moan about the faffing about at the beginning, then I actually thought this was very good. My, he's a dedicated chappie - and it seems to be working for him.

Nancy and Anton

It's time for the Italian siren to go off again, and with Anton teaching her to salsa I wouldn't blame her if she ripped her dress and set fire to the place. Actually, to be fair, I quite enjoyed the half-drunk fun of it all. Much more fun than Edwina. Golden quote from Alesha "I don't know if you were trying to be funny, or if it was just funny", plus it was worth it to see her give the lowest score!

Oh dear. Someone's not very good at salsa. And you've guessed it, I'm not talking about Nancy.

Harry and Aliona

Is Aliona wearing a nicer version of Nancy's dress from last week? That won't go down well, the myth of the saboteur goes on. I have no idea if Harry is any good at the foxtrot because he didn't do any. Also thatawkwardmomentwhen Len finally loses his rag...oo-er..

Noticed a comment on Twitter that Len is really laying into Aliona. But she doesn't abide by rules - or at least is extremely creative with them. Remember her first ever dance like ever with Rav Wilding. Illegal lifts! This was nice but yeah, no Foxtrot really. I think she really ought just to ditch this and take up contemporary dance. Harry's great and should be a getting a better score!

Russell and Flavia

Another double latin couple, but I doubt it's for the same reason as Holly! Glad to see the return of the official, patented Julian Clary ruffle sleeve and Flavia has magically survived crazy costume week unscathed and looks pretty fab! Totally wasn't a salsa, but there were some proper steps in there. I like Russell because he embraces the sparkle and camps it up but also wants to learn to dance.

Oh dear. I remember why he scares me. I am quite disturbed by this whole routine. Must have been the sleeves.

This is without a doubt one of the oddest episodes of SCD I have seen in a while, this may take a while to get over! They will at least have a lot to talk about on ITT this week. Who's going? Random Frankie prediction time...Edwina.

Psychic.

No well, a bit obvious really wannit? ;-)

Here we go again!

2011-10-01T17:59:00.011+01:00

...and we're back!

Tess looks a lot better tonight, a lot more Veronica Lake and a lot less one of the Saturday's mums. As for everyone else, there's a serious amount of spangle going on this series!

Harry and Aliona

The band did a really good job with the song, but would have liked to have seen a few more Jagger-esque moves. But then again it could have turned into dad-dancing. Pretty decent, as we were expecting, but I think it could have had a bit more hip action. He danced first, kinda, so that is in his Winning Formula favour...but then again he did win our poll so he might be doomed! Aliona's hair is a bit more restrained this year so we won't have the fun of Hair Watch.

I am fascinated to know if his rhythmic drumming equates to rhythmic feet. And by and by, it looks like it might. Great current song choice and the first cha cha this year I saw actually being danced on 2 (I couldn't tell of the Friday lot if they were all just screwing up or had been taught fake-cha-cha-cha- aka fa-fa-fa.) Regarding Aliona's hair. It is now peach. That is not a colour that anyone wears well. Unless they are a peach.

Rory and Erin

We already love Rory, he's so much fun and him and Erin seem like a good evil genius team. Rory started out looking nervous but then went into a full-on Tony Blair smile and stuck with it for the whole dance! Not 100% sure about the song choice, it just kept building and building into a mighty bombastic crescendo that seemed a tad OTT for week 1. The dancing was pretty good for a first attempt, plus there is some elegance in there. I wanna see a journey!

I apologise on behalf of Frankie for the use of the word 'bombastic' as I know now you will be all (like me) mentally singing along to the Shaggy track 'Mr Boombastic.' And well, if you weren't...you probably are now. But on to the waltz...this song takes me back to my (short-lived) days of ballroom dance lessons. And as competant as Rory's waltz was, I can't think of anything other than my teacher's rather boombastic voice shouting WHHIIIIISSSSK, WEEEEAAAAVE, WIIIIIIINNG. Shudder.

Alex and James

There's no way around it, I didn't like the song. It was too slow and trying to be cool when a cha cha needs to be full-on disco camp to me. It got better as it went on and Alex did seem to be enjoying it and her spangle-tastic dress. I am unexpectedly wary...dare I say it was a bit dull?

O-to-the-M-to-the-bejesus. Not only does she look like Christine Bleakley, she also dances like her. There really are some core issues here. It is like her arms and legs are completely unconnected to her torso. Timing seemed pretty good though, despite, yes, a ridculously slow song for a cha cha cha. Is it me or is the height of James' hair slowly creeping back into mad scientist proportions? Watch this space.

Chelsee and Pasha

Now that is the proper Disney Princess of a dress. Really nice song choice and choreography from Pasha, looks like we have a good one here! Kinda agree with Craig's frenzied comments, but she was totally into it, which is good to see this early on. Plus he gave her a seven, which not many people get in week 1!

Despite looking a bit like a cross between a marshmellow and a toilet roll cover, Chelsee did a great job on this actually. I say credit for the oomph - none of the other celebrities had much of it, so perhaps she felt she need to make up for it. Can't wait to see her in the latin.

Edwina and Vincent

How many egg and Currie jokes can we get into one series? Maybe Greggs can do an egg and curry sandwich in her honour if she gets to the final. Not sure about that necklace, so big it looked like it was keeping her head on. Oh and the song, Gloria Hunniford danced a jive to that, oh it's the older lady standard all of a sudden! Edwina is actually mental, some may say deluded, but my she is having a good time.

Yes, Edwina they know you for eggs. They also know you for...well, you know. Ew. But by the by, she does seem to be having a jolly good time. Dressed made her look a bit like a jiggling blob of ketchup.

Nancy and Anton

What kind of job description is 'Italian siren'? That's one step away from arsonist. Anton has either forgotten how to do choreography or Nancy thinks it's better just to wear the dress. The bit with the stuck feathers was hilarious, like a rouge muppet was attacking them. It really was a daaaaarnce disaaaaaarster, but damn I want to see more of this glamorous car crash! Is a 3 the lowest score Alesha has ever given?

OH HERE WE GO. It looks like Nancy will actually be able to dance but oh-the-god-no, Anton can't be outshone by his partner. He has to play the goose, get the laughs etc. It annoys me. It works with a partner like Ann, of course, but at least give Nancy a chance? But with the salsa next week I'm not hoping for much. And I have already bought the pins to stick into my eyes when Anton breaks out the hips...

Jason and Kristina

Hopes are high for Jason, let Kristina do some decent dancing for once! Guess I didn't have to worry, best dance of the night in my opinion! They look like a really good team together too. Not much more to say apart from Bonza!

Ah yes, hopes are high. But is he trying too hard? Think back to Dom Littlewood. He had the second highest score in week one...then look what happened. He turned creepy on Lilia's ass. Literally. I hope I am wrong but where enthusiasm works in week one, it starts to get boring real soon.

Sorry for the slight delay in posting. I'll be honest and admit that Frankie refused to post my birthday present unless I chipped in...so here it is! ;)

It's all kicking off!

2011-09-30T21:00:00.014+01:00

So here we go again, this has been the longest three weeks ever waiting for the show to start! Loving the walk-down from the celebs in their extremely bright costumes, after the mermaid-chic of the launch show this is a pretty mixed bag. Not sure why someone has left a bit of material on the back of Tess' dress...Anyways, here we go!

Holly and Artem
Holly looks properly nervous....but the Winning Formula suggests she has a shot at the final, if we ignore the last two years and we pretend I know something about science. Loving how Holly seems to have been given mahusive sequins as a trademark already, she'll be wearing CDs by the end of the series. The dance? Not bad for the first person, first week. All the steps were there etc. Did not like the song choice, find it a bit of an odd dirge for a dance tune, a bit more fun would have given it more energy.

Dan and Katya
I have no idea how this will go at all...I myself have been up since 4.30am and I doubt I could shimmy my way round the floor, er, ever. Oh crikey, that cursed trellis is back aleady! Has it been gathering dust in the BBC since December? It'll be the windows next... Thought this was a pretty decent waltz for episode 1, I saw some rise and fall. Could Dan be a dark horse/giraffe already? Oh my word, is the GMTV curse over, cured by Daybreak of all things?! I guess we'll have to wait for the latin. Loving Katya's lemon bon bon dress.

Lulu and Brendan
Well after being so rude in the launch show she'd better be nice to our Brendan! Whatevs, they're blatantly having fun really. Maybe a bit too much fun since Lulu seemed to forget half the routine; covering for it with the Frankie tactic of 'waving my skirt around and giggling', never fails! Illegal lift alert! Wonder how many times I'll get to type that this year. I laughed all the way through and could not stop watching, and that's all you need sometimes...

Audley and Natalie
Please can I call him Audrey? Is is just me or does Natalie look like Zoe Lucker? Maybe it's the massive hair. I also love how she appears to be wearing a latin dress from the waist up and a ballroom one from the waist down. Didn't look that good to me, not enough in hold and a lot of Natalie dancing around him, the judges overmarked it in my opinion. It is only week one though, can't expect miracles.

Robbie and Ola
Feel like we've been waiting for this one for a long time, even if it's just for Ola's spanga-licious dress! Genius song choice from Ola, she's so good and can hopefully have some fun this year. Might not have been technically the best and could have done with a bit more content, but the most exciting dance of night so far and bound to get the votes. Ooh potential!

Anita and Robin
What nice outfits, especially Robin's new line in super-high Fosse trousers and hats. And no sleeves, ageism at the BBC has been stopped with this exact moment! Anita seemed to warm into the dance after being a bit tentative at first, nice arms too. Aw this woman just seems to love dancing so much and a 7 from Craig in week 1 is pretty impressive!

Russell and Flavia
Flavia looks amazing, Russell looks like Caspar the Friendly Ghost, but if this guy can't have fun then who can? We've all loved his great tweeting in the past weeks so everyone is behind him. I'm so happy they danced to Venus I can even forgive the hideous prop! This guy has more energy and rhythm than anyone expected of him, I think we're in for a good few weeks here...

Well, that's it for tonight. Who would have thought we'd see Anita joint top with Holly and Lulu at the bottom? I want more! It's all to play for, more tomorrow night when the winner of our poll Harry will be performing. Not sure if that's a blessing or a curse!

The Winning Formula - Version 3.0

2011-09-23T00:37:00.014+01:00

It's that time of year again, I'm pretending to have scientific abilities as I revisit my tried-and-tested Winning Formula for SCD. Hey, it's got to be better than Strictly Stats Man...and judging from last year there seems to be something in this!

1) Get the party started
This is unfortunately the weak link in the formula now and may have to be retired if this series does not give satisfactory results, so even more pressure on whoever is dancing first! The tradition of whoever dances first gets to the final was put out of joint for the second year by Felicity Kendall last year, anomalous or not, celebs, I'll be watching you.

2) Quit your day job
I'm looking at YOU Matt Baker, maybe if you hadn't dragged Aliona literally the length and breadth of the country whilst trying to learn to samba you might have pipped Kara to the post. Or maybe not... Either way, if your celeb has nothing better to do then all the better for you Strictly pros. There are no BBC newspeople this year, so we can't test that hypothesis unfortunately, but Dan Lobb had better not have to get up so early if he's going to win against the 'unemployed' types. And I hope Alex Jones is getting a bit of time off, show them this blog as proof if you're reading!

3) Blondes don't have more fun
This is possibly my new favourite variable, after pointing out that not only do brunettes always win but yet again a favourited blonde came third! Poor Pamela, we loved you. Guess this does not bode well for Robbie Savage, even if he and Ola are going on those joint trips to the hairdressers than they joke about on Twitter. Lulu and Holly might also consider a quick dye job. I wonder what this is about? Maybe the British public subconsciously hates blondes, but then again that would not explain the unfathomable popularity of Boris Johnson. Oh god, Boris Johnson on SCD...

4) Latin fever
Once again, the Latin dancers win out, even when they're a newcomer like Artem, so maybe Pasha has a hope. I guess that means we can watch the battle between Natalie and Erin continue once more, which could be even more fun as neither of them have an obvious favourite as a partner this year. Wonder who will resort to hypnotism or build a cyborg first. Anton doesn't count, in case you were wondering, although Nancy is brunette and lacks a day job...

5) Age is more than a number
Now this is a sensitive topic...as pointed out by Matt Ball from MSN, no-one over the age of 40 has ever won SCD. Shocking I know, call for a BBC inquiry right now I hear you cry, but this is science dammit and the evidence speaks for itself. So Harry, Holly, Chelsee Robbie and Alex there's no excuse for slacking or I'll send Arlene round to hit you with the glittery stick. In a moment of extreme SCD-geekery I have just googled how old Dan Lobb is and...he's not 40 until 7 January, just sneaking past the age-line there! Audley Harrison is 40 in October, maybe he should have done this last year.

6) Embrace the sparkle!
The least tangible, but most important, of variables, celebs I need you to embrace the sparkle! I want to see sequins, fake tan, ruffles, feathers and complete dedication to all things Strictly. Russell Grant may win for the biggest love of sparkle so far and we are really enjoying him on Twitter. Jason seems to be taking it very seriously, but might not have truly given himself over to spangled shirts yet. Robbie Savage seems to have some kind of ambiguous relationship with the sparkle, he blatantly loves it but doesn't want to show it, and we won't tolerate that!

So there we have it, the new revamped winning formula looks like this:

(Try to) dance first - day job (unless BBC news-bod) + brunette x latin pro > 40 years old + sparkle = VICTORY!

Less than a week to go celebs, you now know what you have to do...

We have lift off!

2011-09-10T18:36:00.014+01:00

Well here we are, the SCD launch show is upon us! It took all of 30 seconds for Bruce to mention his knighthood and Tess at least deserves an OBE for making a banana yellow jumpsuit look good, maybe I've had a blow to the head but I genuinely quite like it!

It looked as though an egg yolk threw up on her.

Suitably showbiz and slick opening number, just what you need to start off the series. My highlights also included Kristina's sexy new haircut and Vincent doing the eyebrow thing in the run-down, which made me shriek with laughter. Someone also needs to tell Alesha her pony tail is wonky.

Robbie and...Ola!

I've only just noticed he really looks like a horse, maybe a multicoloured My Little Pony by the end of the series. But both of them look so happy, I hope it goes well for them, even though he did lie to us *grumblegrumble*. Plus Ola deserves someone less scary than Paul Daniels.

Perhaps a horse that got stuck circa 1993. And gah, I thought there was something wrong with the TV until I realised I was just being blinded by his teeth. He looks at bit like that annoying guy from Pineapple Dance Studios too. Ola looked delighted but I think anything's better than Paul Daniels...she might even have been delighted to get Russell Grant...? No, maybe that's too far. Now despite the fact that, yes, he did lie to us, (watch you cereal boxes, mate) I think I actually quite like this pairing.

Dan and...Katya!

I am holding judgement on Dan, he seems nice enough but does suffer the curse of the ITV breakfast show. Really hope he's allowed some time off, doing Daybreak at 6am and Strictly could kill a man. Katya seems happy enough, and we've seen with Phil Tufnell and Gavin Henson she can really train a man up from humble beginnings.

Team Kan...? Or team Kan't? (grooooooan.) Now everyone knows that Daybreak is just GMTV in a new dress, so let's quit it with the talk that this guy could win. He hasn't got a bloody chance. He'll either be dragged around like a puppet a la Kate (I think Katya's probably strong enough) or have botty-sticky-outy issues a la Smug McSmugly Castle. And I can hardly bear to mention Fiona Phillips. He's clearly corny. His 'blind date' joke provoked the best fake laugh I ever seen from Katya. Blind date? Yeah he wishes.

Harry and...Aliona!

He fell in love with Uranus, y'know? Write your own joke. Well since he's the favourite Aliona seems to have lucked out again this year!

Is Aliona a Blackpool supporter? Her hair appears to have reached new heights of tangerine. Out of all the celebs, Harry looked the most nervous. And he looked positively terrified of his dance partner. Perhaps he watched in horror, like us, at Aliona's prop-heavy, gimmicky choreography. Or perhaps he just remembers Matt Baker's jive pants.

Introducing Pasha was quite a delight, he really can dance so I think we will like him. Also quite amusing that the BBC decided to to introduce their sexy new male with possibly the campest dance we've seen in a while! Richard Branson should hire the Strictly ladies for the next Virgin Atlantic campaign...

Yes he certainly can dance. Unlike that twelve year old with no ballroom experience they hired last year. Poor Tina - she probably could have done really well with a partner that could lead. Ach well, Pacha, yes. Perhaps it wasn't the dancing that was camp - perhaps he is camp. Time will tell.

Anita and...Robin!

Considering she could have been the token older lady she's got a figure so good she was allowed to be free from sleeves! Not sure how I feel for Robin, after he worked so hard to get Patsy to come out of her shell last year, felt like he should have got someone with the potential to be really good this year.

Let's be honest about this. He's clearly not on the market or he bats for the other team. The single, straight pros get the hot, pretty gals. It's not abaaat the dancin' no more. I haven't got much to say about these two unfortunately. They might gather enough public support to fill out three weeks if they're lucky. Otherwise, they just fodder. Innit.

Chelsee and...Pasha

Well the new boy has got the youngest girl and she's very enthusiastic, maybe he's lucked out here. These two could be an unknown quantity. Not sure about the shorts though, could they be the new Cursed Trousers?

And here's my point. Young gal + new Russian = haven't-we-been-here-before? For those who have been wondering, her accent is Lancashire. She's from Eccles. Famous for cakes filled with flies.

Lulu and...Brendan!

Well this will be a fun pair, hopefully she'll dance better than Jo Wood and they can have a laugh. She looks amazing in that super-spangly frock and a lot of people seem to think she'll be quite good, so Brendan will have something to work with. Thought it was a bit mean for her to shout 'oh no!' when he was announced as her partner, be glad you don't have Anton!

This is one I did not see coming. And I really like it. Well, at least more than Lulu seems to! Brendan still has that Season 1-4 persona but we seem to forget how great he was with Jo Wood. And Michelle-the-vibrating-tagliatelle-strand.

Nice to see Dolly Parton got into the swing of things with about three SCD outfits in one, never thought I would see so much white fringing in one place. Everyone loves Dolly, don't they?

No one told me Robbie Savage was singing on the show.

Jason and...Kristina!

He really does seem to have embraced the sparkle already and if he doesn't do a rumba to Especially For You I want my licence fee back. So glad he's partnered with Kritsina, she really deserves someone with potential!

Another one I wasn't expecting. I really want Jason to be good but he could go either way. He'll either get those rickymartinhipsashakin' or we'll be stuck with something along the lines of Gary Rhodes. For the sake of the nation, let's hope it's not the latter.

Rory and...Erin!

Ooh now this could be a great pairing! He's already endeared us to him on Twitter and I think Erin could be just the right teacher for him. Plus, he can do impressions of Bond villains etc and she can be the henchwoman, mwahahaha.

Yes, loving Rory. He's our Twitterbuddy (well he replied to us, which is a start!) And despite my previous dislike of Erin, it's come full circle and I'm so on her side now. Thinking they will be a good pair but probably not winning potential...which is what we really want for Erin now. But then...she had her chance...and used ****ing puppets. No, never gonna let that go.

Audley and...Natalie!

Well, that was blindingly obvious, since Natalie is actually taller than Russell Grant! Poor thing seems to have used up all her good contestant credits, wonder how this is going to turn out. I read somewhere he has size 14 feet!

Whhhaaaa? I think he could be good! Size has nothing to do with it! Watched him in the group performance and he seemed to have rhythm, timing... and seemed to be one of the few that was enjoying it! Shame he's with Natalie. Bound to take the fun out of it.

Russell and...Flavia!

Wow, Flavia is a really good actress! I'm sure he's a lovely man, but you really wouldn't have to be choreographing him week after week. Although if he;s lost 10 stone he is at least committed to this.

Agreed. Flavia deserves an Oscar. Poor wee thing standing there all evening thinking 'not me not me not me not me'...as one by one the dancers are paired off...looking over at Russell...looking over at Audley. Thinking s**t.

Group dance

Feathers! Chairs! Legs!

Alex and...James!

Wow, someone up there likes James. Another potentially good person, ok, we didn't know Pamela was going to be so good but she did get to the final and everything! Be nice to her James.

Gone are the days of serial killer eyes and mad hair. James, like Brendan, or a fine malt whiskey, has mellowed with age. He and Pamela were a delight. And Alex is so lovely...so much so that she will now be known as Alex SoLovely Jones. It will be like Strictly wandered into the set of Gavin and Stacey. I hope she can dance.

Holly and...Artem!

Seriously, the tabloid rumours have started already? Couldn't we have left them in peace? Well she's tipped to be quite good and I love the huwouage sequins hanging off her dress!

Meh. Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. Sewed my own sequins on it. She's bound to be at least a bit good...but is she interesting enough? Time will tell.

Nancy and...Anton!

Shock couple! I so had her pegged for Vincent and he was standing there with his happy wee face, but no! This could actually be hilarious, she probably won't get too far but it's nice to have a different dynamic than Anton with the comedy old duffer.

Nancy is bigger than Jesus.

Edwina and...Vincent!

Vincent now seems to be the guardian of the older lady all of a sudden, Stephanie Beecham, Felicity Kendall and now Edwina. The poor woman is the only person in our poll so far to have no votes, but then again the poll is always wrong!

Completely uneggspected (sorry). Of course, we all kinda assumed that Edwina would end up with Anton so I'm kinda pleased the beeb mixed it up a tad. Vincent and Anton looked genuinely surprised too. And as Frankie forgot to mention the sleeves, I'll point out that at least she didn't have two - only one and a half.

Group dance

I always love how the first group dance involves a lot of walking and clapping along to the music. And some of them can't even manage that. Crikey, Russell Grant has a lot of energy, and dare I say a sense of rhythm? Jason Donovan is totally into this and Alex really seemed to be enjoying herself too. Well, this is our motley crew until Christmas!

Walking and clapping indeed. And hardly any dancing. Yes, I think Russell has rhythm too. The only ones that stood out - not necessarily for dancing but because they actually were enjoying it were Audley, Jason and Chelsee. The latter of whom shone out of the group like a little rough diamond.

This series could go any way at all. I really wish Russell Grant wouldn't keep the outcome to himself.

And the contestants are... actually some people we've heard of this year.

2011-09-03T16:07:00.013+01:00

Alex Jones

Forever known as 'bird from the One Show', at least that programme has a record of sending us semi-decent contestants. She could be good clean fun, or incredibly dull, but either way there is no chance she will be as creepy as Dominic Littlewood.

Alex Jones aka Christine 2. They look the same. They both work/ed on The One Show. They both have endearing regional accents. And now they can both add Strictly to their lists of achievements. Seriously, if you gave me a picture of the two of them, I wouldn't be able to tell you which was which. I'm not joking. In fact, has anyone ever seen them together? Conspiracy much? I now fully believe that it is actually Christine coming back to have another go. If they bring back Matt Cutler too I'd be happy with that.

Harry Judd

Sound the alarm, young man aged 25 on SCD! After a serious dearth of the younger man since the days of Matt DiAngelo I'm quite glad to see this guy turn up on the show, even if I was always a bit old for McFly. Although we may have to do something about that name, Harry Judd is hardly a sexy salsa name...

Alarm! Alarm! Indeed. OK, I have no idea which one he is. They all looked the same to me. I really do think that one of his costumes should incorporate at least 5 colours of hair dye. Obviously ;-)

Edwina Currie

Since when did 'token politician' become a category on this show? A few years ago this would have been a totally random signing, but now it seems quite run-of-the-mill (run-of-the-glitterball?). As we know, the older lady must be encased in sleeves at all times, but I don't think I'll complain about it too much this year. Who will she dance with? Is it automatically Anton?

Conversation at work. Me: "Is she the one with the eggs?" Librarian: "Yes." Me: "Is she the one with John Major?" Librarian: "Yes." Me: "Ew."

So does she automatically get lumped with Anton? As proved in 2009 (and do not get me started on this...), he does not deserve a partner that has a chance of winning. And let's face it, even if she's the world's best dancer, older women just don't win. (Pamela was ROBBED!) However, if she does get lumbered with him doesn't it all become a bit predictable? I say mix it up again a little. Give him Russell Grant.

Rory Bremner

In a way they didn't need a token politician, since Rory could have provided them with about 10 for the price of one, we could have pretended the BBC had got Tony Blair, no-one would question the idea after all. Older but with a very dry sense of humour, can't see him going all the way but he could be a dark horse.

Definitely a real character - or many, as the case may be. Perhaps he could be a different person each week. OMG, that actually would be amazing. Scrap my disdain for frivolous follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies...DO IT. I might be wrong but I can imagine him being quite hard on himself if he can't quite get something...something in the eyes...but only time will tell.

Chelsee Healey

I don't watch Waterloo Road, but yet more young blood is always a good idea. I'm seriously starting to think this show has developed ageism against younger people. Give her a good partner and enough spangles and we can probably have some fun with Chelsee.

I don't watch Waterloo Road either but now I have Waterloo Sunset by the Kinks stuck in my head...which is a better option than Waterloo by Abba...oh, dammit.

Dan Lobb

Remember how bad GMTV presenters were? Well this is a Daybreak presenter, the odds say he should be even worse! Ah, but he was a tennis player, you say - so was Andrew Castle! It all boils down to ITV coverage though, so we can't escape SCD on any channel. I'm going to suggest he'll start out clumsy and then get a bit better.

No bloody idea who he is. I'm not sure I care. So Wikipedia tells me he was a tennis player too - remind me of someone? Oh yes. Smug McSmuggeson Andrew Castle. Just tried Google images. He does look smug too. Sorry to judge only on those two things. I'll eat a banana skin if I am wrong.

Nancy Dell'Olio

Fantastico! If there's one thing this show needs it's some crazy glamour with a foreign accent, us Brits love all that stuff. I just really, reeeeeally hope she's ickle so that she can dance with Vincent. Bruno will love her, there will be excitable shouting, job done.

What actually is she famous for? Is it just for being Sven's ex? But meh, she's clearly crazy and she's Italian and you never can have enough of those in the Strictly Come Dancingsphere. I haven't got the oomph in me to get annoyed along the lines of the whole Jo Who thang...so let's just see what happens.

Jason Donovan

Ahh, everyone loves Jason Donovan these days, don't they? He just seems like one of those people with a lot of goodwill behind him, housewives' favourite and all that. He's done drag more than once in musicals, a man who did Rocky Horror is not allowed to turn down wearing some serious spangles or I will be mightily disappointed.

Ahhh indeed! This is a man who could quite easily become an adopted national treasure. Always strikes me as a nice guy and he's so my generation it hurts. I want a rumba to 'Especially for You' and lots of early Neighbours clips please. Or the dreamcoat thing. Either is fine.

Holly Valance

Continuing the cast of Neighbours who aren't doing panto, Brucie is going to have a field day with his Aussie puns this year. She'll look good and will probably be half decent at dancing, the main thing I think we're all looking for is a...um...personality?

I'd kinda got over my Neighbours phase by the time this lassie was in it so there's little interest here. I guess she was responsible for a pop classic (yes, you still all know all the words) Mwah. As Frankie says, we assume she will be able to dance (though remember that assumption made about Michelle Williams...and she turned out to dance like a matchstick on acid.) A personality would be nice. But I'm not holding out much hope.

Audley Harrison

Oh look a sportsman, and randomly enough a boxer I've actually heard of. We've not exactly had a good track record with boxers so don't hold your breath. I've actually just read he's some ridiculous height like 6'5. I'm also slightly concerned that I'm going to call him Audrey all series.

Should we allow Frankie to call him Andrey if it will keep her happy for three months? She is a simple creature. So, a boxer? Not a good track record for those on Strictly, no, but I have a young friend who's a cracking salsa dancer...and he boxes...so there's hope yet. He is MIGHTYHUGE though...who is man enough to take him on? Natalie. No, I'm not saying Natalie is a man... ... ... or... .... ....

Antia Dobson

Fighting Edwina Currie in the 'older woman' stakes, we'll be drowning in sleeves this year...I don't really have any idea of what to expect here. Could be terrible in an endearing way, could be competent at ballroom and cringey in latin.

THE BBC IS NOT AGEIST! NOT AGEIST! LOOK WE HAVE AN OLDER WOMAN! HERE! LOOK! NOT AGEIST! NOT AGEIST!

Russell Grant

What did we do to deserve this? This isn't going to be you're-bad-but-it's-quite-funny-light-relief of Widdecombe and co, it's going to be the you're-bad-and-creepy-and-please-go-away of Paul Daniels. I feel sorry for the poor female pro who gets him, it had better not be Kristina.

He actually scares me.

Lulu

All I can hear in my head is Edwina Monsoon shouting "I PR things...people...LULU!" which is going to get quite annoying throughout the series. Small and plucky, I know a lot of people can't stand her and I'm not 100% sure myself.

My first memory of Lulu is of watching Top of the Pops as a child, happily listening away to Take That's new single, 'Relight My Fire', when all of a sudden a tiny woman rose from what seemed like flames and belted "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaahhhhhh." It took me a long time to forgive her for that.

Robbie Savage

The eternal ditherer, I am convinced he lied to us on Twitter but I have got lost in the swirly vortex of tales that have been spun about Mr Savage, which is a bit annoying since I had no idea who he was until the rumours started circulating! It had better be worth all this drama.

He lied?! I shall find it and see. There is not replying, that is one thing. Ignorance is bliss, after all...but an outright lie?! I'm actually outraged. I shall hunt him down and mismatch his socks. I shall put salt in his sugar bowl and chilli pepper in his cinnamon. I shall turn his cereal bags upside down inside the boxes.

Yer, I had to look him up too.

Curiouser and curiouser...

2011-08-17T15:45:00.012+01:00

....and we're back! It's that time of year again, we're dusting off the word 'spangle' and Christmas is practically here. But oddly enough, there's a distinct lack of SCD rumours this year and the ones that have emerged are, well, rather curious. Is there a lack of good contestants, or something massive around the corner (by which we don't mean Russell Grant)?

I was beginning to think that no one cared but when the rumours about Russell Grant became more frequent, I think I read somewhere that people took to the streets of London in protest. I even heard there were copycat occurances in Birmingham and Manchester. A seagull appeared on Youtube looting a shop, caught up in a frenzy of madness at the sheer horror of it all. That was what it was all about, wasn't it?

Starting off the list, we have the most-definite contestant in the form of the One Show's Alex Jones. Wake up at the back please...this really isn't very exciting, it's going to be like Christine Bleakley, like Felicity Kendal was Cherie Lunghi...seriously, why doesn't the BBC just start cloning celebs and see if we notice or not?

Who is Alex Jones? Scribble out the X, replace it with a D and let's have us some of that camp samba back. Ah, those were the days.

Having a definte rumour has been a joy this year, let's look at the roll-call of people who make up most of the displaced rumours...Sir Geoff Hurst, Robbie Savage, Miriam O'Reilly. Who are these people?! And I don't care about accusations of ageism, I want a man under the age of 25 on this show please! Speaking of unsuitable people, we might even turn to the twaddle that is astrology if it means Russell Grant will just go away. Maybe the planets can align to leave a roller-skate at the top of some stairs (oh dear, I am evil).

Who are these people indeed? I shall Google. Ah, Geoff Hurst...just stop your gasps of protest right there. You know us both well enough now to know that we are as bad at remembering sportspeople as Nick Clegg is remembering his policies (ooh, satire). Robbie Savage? Unless he plans to come out singing Take That songs dressed as a drag queen called Lily I don't care. Miriam O'Reilly...ahhh, I see, to counteract the ageism stuff? Why not let her replace Alesha on the panel? Seriously. Nothing surprises me any more.

In trying to get some slightly more glam celebs the BBC seem to be turning to...erm, Australia? One of the latest rumours is Holly Valance, who at least looks good in a frock and can't be doing it for the money since she's engaged to a billionaire. Also from the land of Oz (I can hear Bruce's jokes now), we've had rumours of Jason Donovan pop up. He's done musicals, he might just be able to do a kick-ball-change without falling over and his female pro can wear a Kylie-style 80s wedding dress for a rumba. Crikey, you come up with some surreal things watching this show...

A Jason Donovan pop up, Frankie? Can't they get the real one? How about bringing in the technicolor dreamcoat for a Biblical themed Argentine tango? He could dance it with Philip Schofield. Did someone say surreal? Thing is re. Holly Valance, she's just too likely to be one of those who stays in until the very end, scoring highly with the judges, looking pretty and just being generally dull. In short, to be nothing more than a length of decorative drapery (boom boom).

Also in the 'foreigners coming over here and taking our celeb jobs' category is the crazy Nancy Dell'Olio. Famous for...er...dating men, she can go in the Jo Wood/Gavin Henson category. I hear that she is quite short, meaning she just has to dance with Wee Vincent and we can use subtitles. And she has a questionable dress sense. You just know it will be more fun than a well-meaning soap star.

I'VE HEARD OF HER!

Speaking of soap stars, they seem to be quite thin on the ground this year, usually great for SCD-filler material. Instead, the great untapped resource this year seems to be politicians of all people! I wonder if they just can't be any more imaginative after Widdecome's attempt to recast herself as a loveable national treasure. So the politico we are most likely to have is egg-loving Edwina Currie...so many puns, so little time. Other political names mentioned along the way have been John Prescott (REALLY?!) and Peter Mandelson. Mandy would have been best, so oddly sinister and actually a half-decent dancer already.

You know Blair wants to.

And then there is the rumour I have been trying to ignore...Pippa Middleton. The dust seems to have settled on that one, so hopefully it was just a ridiculous fabrication made up by someone in PR. And as for the Cheryl Cole rumour...

Both ridiculous. Shame as at least they are relevant. Clare-at-Work would shoot herself in the head with a staple gun if Cheryl Cole appeared on Strictly though. And we can't have that...

Finally!

2010-12-18T19:03:00.014Z

This is it boys and girls. Let the group numbers get more overblown, Brucie's jokes cheesier, costumes spanglier and skimpier and Bruno spontaneously combust. It's been an exciting year and whilst the media says this pointlessly every year I genuinely don't think I can say who is going to win. Off we go!

Matt and Aliona
Well this is going to be odd, blogging about stuff we've already talked about. Anyway, I missed Aliona's fabulously spangly Blackpool outfit but this one is hardly short on glitter. Any bloke who can do a samba in the final as his top scoring dance must be pretty good and those samba rolls were amazing. Maybe Greggs can sell a samba roll in tribute along with Len's infamous cheese roll.

Kara and Artem
Oh my word, will this VT ever end? Is Artem going to propose at the end or something? I see all the dresses are changing, oh well, glad I don't have to see the blamange bed sheet again. A rumba is also a brave choice for a final, one slip and that's it. Wish Craig would stop banging on about illegal lifts, they're not intentional and stop calling them lifts!

Pamela and James
James Jordan is human, who would have thought? God I love this VW, that's all I have to say.

SHOWDANCES!
Ahhhh I'm over-excited! Annoyed it's come this early in the evening though, surely the whole damn point of a showdance is that it comes at the end?! It's all a bit premature *snigger*

Matt and Aliona
When this started I was like 'oo-er, street dance' and came over a bit Daily Mail for a moment, I saw a bad streetdance showdance on DWTS once and it scarred me for life. But overall I think they actually got the balance just right and there were other steps in there too. Didn't blow my mind like I was hoping but certainly didn't crash and burn.

I know which she means. It was Apollo and Julianne. Watching a ballroom dancer trying to streetdance is like seeing an 80 year old in a hoodie.

Kara and Artem
Those outfits are hilariously cute, they look like SCD comic book superheroes! Great song choice and the opening was amazing, but was it just me or was the middle section incredibly slow for some reason? The dance its self was pretty great and fun, plus the lifts were stunning. And all whilst avoiding a camel toe! Bruno was right, it could have been a blockbuster.

Pamela and James
Plagiarism alert! I know it was seven years ago but Brendan surely has something to say here. Saying that, it was perfect for Pamela and the choreography was great. I did totally cheer out loud when Pamela did that spin on the floor and got up right, no more crazy teetering! This could be the real crowd-pleaser of the showdances. "Nobody puts granny in the corner".

So who's going first. I'm going out on a limb and saying Matt myself, nothing personal, but I think the street dance element will have put some voters off. But yes, closest. final. ever.

...can't believe Pamela and James went! And right at the start of the show like that too - how brutal!
Matt and Aliona
Much plagiarism going on tonight, someone should order a BBC inquiry. At least it's a cracking song, just right for the tension of the final. Aliona looked the best she has all series, she's bloody good at the paso actually. Liked the flamenco stuff. I know what the judges were saying about it being a tad off, maybe its because we've already had the craziness of the showdances?

Kara and Artem
After about three seconds I knew this dance was going to be all magical and lovely. Classy, romantic, graceful. God Craig is a grumpy sod, just let it go, it's the final!

Loving the class of 2010 rundown, I still think Goldie should have been in it longer. And Jimi obviously. And Scott could have easily wowed the finals with his jive and VW.

As for the last two dances, I loved the VW swing and all - I think it's the creepy undertones of the Wild Rose song. I also however loved Kara's AS and the modifications they did to it. And what a fabulous dress too! Whilst I was watching it I was also caught up in the 'Kara's arm is sprained/broken/going to fall off' drama on Twitter at the time too! Once she stopped dancing she looked like she was going to cry.

I absolutely adored the final group number, whoever came up with that was a genius. Paloma Faith was perfect is a fabulously bonkers glitterball Christmas cracker dress. I was even happy to see Ann and the the return of the World's Ugliest Pants. What a feelgood ending!

Are we nearly there yet? As much as I've enjoyed all the dances tonight I am emotionally exhausted! And the winner is....KARA! Fabulous, worthy winners for sure, but I think I could have accepted anyone this year. My heart is warmed, how sweet.

Roll on Christmas day!

Blog-a-thon

2010-12-10T21:03:00.020Z

FRIDAY

Wow, are we at the semis already? It's all gone so fast, this time next week and it'll all be over *tear*sob*sigh* Cue extra-extended VTs with meaningful music behind them...

Pamela and James

I've been waiting for this woman to do a paso for forever (or since about mid-October, practically the same thing), don't let me down! Ah and when you include Lady Gaga you let these two be as camp as ever. Pamela's facial expression was perfect and as ever James did make it a proper paso. Cracking dress too.

Rare is da lady who can pull off latin and ballroom with such, well, pizazz. Loved this. Yes, it was camp and overacted but who can't love those crazyfaces (trademark Karen Hardy/Camilla Dallerup 2006) The song choice was good for a non-paso-type-paso. All in all, a good effort. Methinks. The most amazing thing is that a 61 year old woman can wear an outfit like that...and get away with it. Pamela to win. No, Pamela for Prime Minister. I mean it.

Kara and Artem

This song has been used before, but rightfully so as it so perfect. Loved a tiny bit in the middle where I caught Kara giving Artem a little smile, so cute and I'm a right cynical cow. Spotted the sort-of-illegal-lift but it was totally accidental.

Too many of the songs have been used before. I have quitted niggling 'bouts it. I really like this song anyway so no moaning, oh no no. This was delightful. I've been comparing her to Ali Bastian and Rachel Stevens but she's not as sappy as they were - she appears to have a little more oomph. A worthy finalist. Dress reminded me of spearmint Softmints - or the colour of walls in a mental hospital -but never thee mind.

Katya and Gavin

Oh dear, poor Katya wearing some old lady's sofa fabric. Gavin reminded me of some local wine bar Lothario in this number, leering at the laydeez but not actually doing a lot of dancing. He has improved and what he did was good, but like Bruno said there's something lacking compared to the others. Katya is a star however.

Another re-used song but just so relieved to have samba music with an inkling of actual latin flavour to it. What the producers have against latin music is beyond me...but let me not rant. Again. I liked Katya's costume. It was Liliaesque. Oh but Gavin - he was still a bit wooden - will he ever become a real boy?

Scott and Natalie

That song is on the Finish dishwasher tablets advert, but I somehow managed to block out such thoughts for most of the dance. Natalie looked a-mazing! Those shoes were drool-worthy and the detailing on her top was perfect. Loved Bruno's comment he didn't know if Scott was a lover or a stalker, it was perfect and I think they really got the mood. Think the judges were a bit harsh overall but the scoring was ok!

It was also a Boots Christmas Advert a few years ago. Nice to hear another Gotan Project track (oh so awesome) Natalie looked stiff and so did he. This is what happens when ballroom pros take on other dances...it explains a whole lot of rah rah ah ah ah, roma roma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want your bad, uh, salsa. And Argentine tango. And uh, swing. But more of that later. If you want to see how it's done, check out the routine by Vincent and Flavia. Oh wait, there wasn't one.

Matt and Aliona

They love that desk, don't they? Really enjoyed this, it was good not-so-clean fun. Matt seemed nervous at the start and then started to enjoy it halfway through. Thought they did enough salsa steps and armwork. Not sure about the abundance of lifts, but the judges were being proper grumpy.

Oh boo hiss boo. This was rotten. Not only was the song all-of-sh-sh-shocking (oh-so-nearly-swore-then) These guys wouldn't know a salsa if it hit them on the head with a Cuban cigar and stripped them to their bloomers. At one point he was randomly writhing on top of her like a possessed camel. About as salsa as a roast potato. Badly done, Matthew, badly done.

Swing-a-thon

Well that felt quite ridiculous to type...I've actually been quite looking forward to this in the absence of a mass Viennese Waltz pile-up. This was probably one of the most insane things I have ever seen on Strictly - it was like Grease on acid! Why was Pamela wearing such massive shoes anyway? Matt and Kara were the best, but I feel Kara did spend a lot of time being thrown around and doing cartwheels rather than always dancing. Hurrah for the big old mish-mash of fun, not sure if it'll be back next year though!

This reminded me of a cringeworthy video my former boss showed me of a Northern Soul dance competition in Blackpool Tower Ballroom. Frankie's right about Pamela's shoes. The curse of the dance sneaker. Notso pretty. They went off in the order I expected whilst watching it - which kind of makes it seem fair.

SATURDAY

Scott and Natalie
Oh my word, it's like the world's campest fancy dress party! In the end I felt a bit underwhelmed by this, after his amazing jive I was expecting something fast and technical and it didn't feel like it was up to much. Not sure how I feel for Scott's chance, he can be great and is such a lovely guy but he's not very consistent.

Strictly meets Steamboat Willie. And they don't get on. Grossly underwhelming. And that is all.

Kara and Artem

I wasn't too sure that to make of this at first but got really drawn into it as it went on. Not liking the dress too much, she seemed to be wearing about twice as much fabric as she needed to be. The lack of lyrics in the song made it feel odd, but it did hold my attention and all the lines etc were amazing. Technically great, but not jumping up and down material for me - no Rachel Stevens who actually made me gasp like a saddo.

This wasn't just any rumba, this was a Marks and Spencer rumba. I wasn't so keen on this either really. I have a feeling that any other year, Len would have been havin' a go about it being too 'posy' - this year though, I knew they were going to love it. Loving the track but it just reminds me too much of those adverts. And I'd pick a melt in the middle chocolate pudding over this any day.

Matt and Aliona

I should have hated this song, but miraculously I didn't! The pivots sequence at the beginning was amazing - I do love a good pivot. There was tension and sex, leading, staccato and everything. Please let the Geordie through, it'll be like kicking a small farmyard animal if not...

The song shouldn't have worked. But it did. Perhaps we have become accustomed to rotten choices. This was impressive mostly because it really did look as though he was leading - something which it looks as though Scott never mastered. And in that case, then Matt was definitely the right one to go through.

Gavin and Katya

The song was perfect, as if Robbie Williams wrote it just to make sure that he got one of his songs on primetime tv again. It was pretty good, I didn't see anything relating to LampGate myself.

Katya dressed in a wigwam (a dreadfully under-used word - must try to find more uses for it). It was a gallant effort by Gavin but just too far below par for this point in the competition. A fine competitor who bowed out with grace. More grace than he showed in his dancing anyway. Poor soul.

Pamela and James

BBC cuts number 342: They only make Pam half a costume. The lament heard around the country all series strikes up once again 'Get into bloody hold!'. This was a great routine, but I felt like they wasted too much time on the opening when they could have fit in more quickstep fun. Not that there wasn't any fun, it was a delight to see them skipping about to an old-school song. Loved her genuine surprise at a 40, hilarious!

I think Pamela dances wonderfully out of hold (despite the odd wobble from time to time, of course) and perhaps that is why James - now he is allowed - has choreographed thus. This was a lovely quicketyquickstep. And as far as gimmicks go, this was one of the better ones. Was so relieved when a skirt appeared for the 'in hold' part of the dance. Can you imagine a quickstep without a skirt? I don't think Britain's ready for that.

And so we say goodbye to Gavin and Scott, not sad to see Gavin go but Scott had provided us with some great dances. Too bad we are denied the joy of the world showdance champions writhing around on the floor with some music playing in the background, what a pity. So this time next week it'll be all over, but there will be much randomness and manic episodes of ITT to come!

I'm gonna just come out and say it: PAMELA TO WIN.

I Like To Movie It Movie It

2010-12-04T18:39:00.011Z

OK, so it's another special Gimmick Night, but since Blackpool wasn't actually very gimmicky I'm going into this with my mind open. Plus Brucie pretending to be the MGM lion genuinely made me laugh, but I am easily amused like that. Plus Kristina in the tightest pants known to ever grace a Saturday night on the BBC is always worth it. They should have got Julian Clary back for his Top Gun rumba with Erin, but that was about 30 years ago...

Scott and Natalie

Well there was always going to be a Bond, SCD has had some ama-zing Bond routines already so they have a lot to live up to. Doing a paso to the Bond theme was a genius idea and the band knocked it out of the park. The dance was pretty good with paso content, tension and sex, but I think my expectations may have been a tad high. Plus Natalie was, like, naked - maybe they want on first so she can now go put a coat on?

Hola. I was watching Strictly this week with my non-Strictly-fan friend Katy. This looked very dramatic but hasn't there been a Bond theme Paso before? Old hat, my friends, old hat. (A top hat? A fez?) And Natalie, stop passing yourself as a Bond Girl. We all know you're the evil genius, Erin's nemesis...we've been through all this before... Midway through the routine I got distracted by a Hotel Chocolat brochure. Which, as I'm sure you'll agree, is highly understandable.

Ann and Anton

Ann is wearing the most disgusting trousers I have ever seen, not even an 80 year old drag queen in Benidorm would wear those. As ever Anton is dancing for two. To be honest I don't think Ann did anything amusing enough this week to save herself.

In an attempt to dance properly, I think they lost their charm. Perhaps they lost it down those massive trousers. These guys had a good run. I think they're my favourite token rubbishouple (blend of rubbish + couple - it's the linguistic version of a mash-up) of all time. In fact, whilst they were dancing their final dance it was the first time this year I've felt emotional. Nay, it's the first time this year I've even cared. Ann - you are a treasure.

Matt and Aliona

Well the costume department had fun with these two! How utterly adorkable is Matt? Nice to see him totally throwing himself into this, but like the Argentine Tango I would have liked to have seen him do a proper jive. But I won't be a total grumpy guts, it was such good fun and banished all memories of Christopher Parker doing that song back in t'day...

This was too themed. And that is all.

Pamela and James

Pamela the snow queen and James the ice cream man, how cute. I must say for the record that I actually despise this song, it makes me want to feel a bit sick usually, but wow it was perfect here! Loving the timing on the fleckerl. It was divine and I feel quite Christmassy *sigh* Job done guys.

I think I loved the tens more for James than for Pamela. Frankie's talking about fleckerls. This amuses me. What the fleckerl is she talking about? Oh, it was lovely. Pamela is lovely. I so want her to win. The judges clearly want Kara to win. Boo hiss boo.

Gavin and Katya

Gavin looked like a brick wall in his suit, the costume people were right, Katya looks pretty good though! This could have been an amazing number, but Gavin's lack of dancing ability let it down, there was walking in there again. It was quite an odd foxtrot in the end, I was very surprised Len said he liked it! Completely over-marked, I shall leave in a huff *HUFF*

Well I liked it. Yes, I think it was a tad over-marked but such an improvement...If the show were on for about another 350 weeks, he might have gone through enough of a j-j-journey to win. Bit slow off the mark, that's all...

Kara and Artem

Phwoar, that's a dress and a half Kara! I am actually dying with jealously that they get to do the Roxanne tango from Moulin Rouge, did someone use this in Series 1 or am I imagining it? They really brought out the big guns for this one and it totally paid off, cracking. I think I actually heard their feet stamping, must have been deathly quiet in the studio. Rather surprised with the 9 from Craig actually, thought he would have been swept away by it all!

Ooh Ooh, yes I love the song. This was great. I'm not a huge fan of Kara - typical stage school girl who's done all the 'usual' (she claims) ballet, tap, modern - not that that would be an advantage at all hmph hmmm...? Am not saying she shouldn't be in, or that she shouldn't win because of it...it just makes her a little...too good...and perfect, well, it's as boring as. Apart from this dance. Which I did like.

Well the bottom two seems obvious, but as ever, do not estimate the power of Widdy. As long as her or Gav goes I'm happy, anyone else would be horrendous.

RESULTS: Well there we go, Ann has left the building. Bye bye, it was fun while it lasted and unfortunately it lasted a bit too long. Roll on the three-day semifinals!

Was I the only one who was not shocked by Scott's place? Someone's gotta be there. I guess Natalie's got to crank up the evil villain thang again now.

Strictly 2010 AB: After Blackpool

2010-11-27T18:28:00.012Z

Kara and Artem

Will Artem's head fall off or not? The nation waits with breath that is baited. I'm sure that's the dress she's wearing in the promo stuff, but in silver instead of green. I preferred the green, made her look like a Christmas pixie. Not quite sure about this one; all the steps were there and there didn't seem to be anything wrong per se, but there wasn't that zing. Seemed a bit slow, but that might be so Artem keeps all his limbs. Overmarked, would have given 8s.

Why are we talking about Artem losing his head? Is it because he is Russian? Frankie, you're a few years behind. Stalin died years ago. And anyway, I think he preferred death by firing squad. This dance made such an impression on me that now it's Tuesday - I am finally back online - I can't even bloody remember what dance they did. Was it a jive?

Ann and Anton

Ann appears to actually be dressed as a Victorian Hillary Clinton, Kate Winslet she ain't. I am however enjoying the band's rendition of My Heart Will Go On, it's rather good so maybe I should just close my eyes. This was actually crappety crap due to the total lack of content and to be frank, effort on Ann's part, they have given up and maybe it's time for everyone else to.

Oh poo to you all you moaning minnies. This was hilarious. Everyone's so grumpy at the moment - myself included - that a good laugh is oh-so-needed. Thought Anne's costume was a bit more tasteful than the yolk-of-very-genetically-modified-egg she wore in Blackpool. Anton shouting 'Iccceeeebeeerrrg' really, I'm quite sure, is set to be my absolute highlight of 2010.

Patsy and Robin

I am so mad they stole MY Argentine Tango song (look at the song recommendations from two years ago!), but damn it makes for a good dance. Not as technical as some other ATs, but I thought they had a real good go at the theming, intensity and story aspect. I didn't think the dress would work, seemed a bit frumpy at first, but thought it played out into some sort of cougar-esque story...maybe I look into this too much? And Len is right, you do not win being careful

Ah yes, I was sitting there in front of the TV thinking exactly the same thing. How dare they steal Frankie's Argentine Tango track? (She conveniently forgets that Kate and Anton danced their Ballroom Tango to it many moons ago, I think, circa 1926) I really liked this couple. We will miss them. We will not miss his vests.

Scott and Natalie

Quite enjoying Natalie's lemon bondage ballroom dress. I turned into Craig halfway through and started wailing about Scott's dangling free arm, too much ITT training footage for me. I'll be getting one of those Machines next. It was a bit oddd, like he was a touch tipsy actually! Put that 9 down Alesha...

Scott who? I'm bored of these. Like Kara, he's technical but dull. I'm turning into one of those idiots-what-votes-for-the-joke-ones but only I'm not voting. I haven't yet felt strongly enough to do so...though if someone starts threatening my Pamela, I may begin to...Anyway, Scott and Natalie. Meh. Oooh, just as a side note though, while I was in internet exile, I must admit he danced an extremely lovely jive. As sharp as a Halfpenny. Almost.

Gavin and Katya

Loved the outfits, the take on the Outkast video was so cute. Can't believe someone has not used it for a jive before, but it's going in the Wasted Song Choices category. I don't feel like he did much dancing in this actually, apart from a few kicks and flicks in a section. A lost chance to shake it like a Polaroid picture. I can also see Katya's knickers, oo-er...

Ha ha, great song choice. Really liked it. The dance was bloody awful but I think the glasses made up for it. Frankie hates Gavin. I don't hate Gavin. I don't care enough to hate him. He's just like a little puppy dog. What can't dance.

Matt and Aliona

Loved Aliona's dress, not to sure about Matt's floaty shirt. This was an American Smooth like no other, forget the foxtrot, this was part rumba. The facial expressions were a bit odd, but I really loved it and appreciated they tried to do something different with it. Thought the judges had a total downer on it, but the scoring wasn't too bad in the end.

So You Think You Can Dance? Whoops. Wrong show. Seems like Matt and Aliona thought so too. What was with that contemporary nonsense. It looked like they were trying to - I dunno - express through the medium of moooovement the paaaaain of suffferrrring in the world's raaaaiinfooorrressts. Or sumfink hippy like that. And it started so lovely. What a wasted opportunity. American Smooth so could have been Matt's thang.

Pamela and James

Expectations were very high for the campest of camp couples doing an insane dance, and they gave us slapstick by the bucketload! I really liked the song choice too, but thought it was all just a tad too slow to give it the proper manic quality. But I am nit-picking here, this woman is 60! How many times do we have to say it, 60! I also see the door from Scott and Natalie's jive has been given a facelift...

With those facial expressions, Pamela, it was like having a mish-mash of Karen Hardy and Camilla Dallerup back. That is a good thing. Crazy manic faces doth Strictly make. This was insane. In the best possible way. Loved it and love them. PamJam to win.

Wow, is that it? Sudden shortage of contestants...December is creeping up on us. Very sad to see Patsy go, would certainly have preferred Gavin to have gone on Sunday.

Viva las Blackpool!

2010-11-23T16:40:00.010Z

So here we are in the homeland, for both me, Clover and ballroom dancing - it's Blackpool week!

Everyone's dressed up and galloping across that ma-hu-sive floor. Loving the pro girls dress as showgirls and the boys in their little white trousers. Not loving Tess' scary red jumpsuit, it's not going to do anything to stop pregnancy rumours! Did however like hearing her say 'bucketloads' like a true Lancashire lass though.

Patsy and Robin
Liking the design of the costume, not the boring colours, we need hurt-your-eyes bright pink and green etc, Blackpool week is not the week for good taste! Thankfully they got the most kitsch-tastic of samba songs, if I was on Strictly myself I would need to do it to the Copacabana (which will obviously happen one day). Thought the dance itself was pretty decent, but no fireworks.

Kara and Artem
Despite the X-factor style will-they-won't-they-of-course-they-will opening I seriously loved this dance. I genuinely did not notice they didn't do anything in hold until Len pointed it out, it was so atmospheric I was carried away with it. I also liked how they didn't get too carried away with the lifts (boom boom), they could do three and he could have spun her around his head the whole time and didn't.

Matt and Aliona
Now those are some samba outfits! Aliona and her seriously distracting fringing, all it needed was some feathers and it would have been perfect. Love how Matt embraced the sparkle quite literally and threw those hips around. The run around at the start made me laugh, I'd have to have stopped for a sit down after cantering around that massive floor! And I liked the fancy ending with the backflips, he totally earned them after such a good routine.

Felicity and Vincent
Lovely frock, great song, horrendous opening! Look up Kate Gosling's awful Paparazzi paso doble from DWTS and you'll see why I hated it. Once the dance actually started it was indeed smooth and the band are doing a seriously good job. Felicity handled the lifts pretty well and brought her usual class and grace to it, but after two showstoppers it seemed a bit reserved.

Gavin and Katya
I hate the hat, I hate the miming, I have problems with the underlying misogynistic sentiment of She's A Lady, this was not going to be a good dance for me! Saying that, Katya certainly gave a very good performance, so good I forgot to watch Gavin most of the time. Maybe it's because his tan is the same colour as the Tower Ballroom floor and he blended in?

Scott and Natalie
I am going to come out and say I think this was totally undermarked. Think I may have been carried away with the excitement of it and the jingling of Natalie's fabulously naff 70s-Vegas-cavewoman outfit. Those shimmies had a hint of the Gethin Jones about them to me!

Pamela and James
A-ha, Pamela gets her mojo back! Pamela looks like a drag queen, James looks like a snooker play, perfect for Blackpool. I can forgive the silly opening and the fact it was practically a tango for the sheer campness of it. Pamela did look like she was having a psychotic episode during the end lift, bless her.

Ann and Anton
Well here we go then...will Anton make it through the dance without his trousers bursting into flames? We can but hope. At least he got them a fun samba song even if they didn't fancy doing any actual samba dancing. Was not enjoying this until the leg flinging antics begun and I thought Ann was going to break a hip. I can take these two as an amusing sideshow for now, but not forever and there are less and less people every week.

As for the results show, totally loved the laydeez and their bootylicious number. Cirque du thingy-bob were pretty good too with the High School Musical On Acid routine, gotta love a bit of flying and general insanity in Blackpool. In fact I feel like the place brings out the extra-oomph-ooh-la-la-va-va-voom in the show. I do realise I am now talking gibberish.

Felicity? I guess like last week it was her time to go (apart from You Know Who), she's pretty good but was never going to win. Felt sorry for Patsy, but when you go first you run the risk of being forgotten. Pack up your bucket and spade and get on with it girl.

Madam Mim and the dresses of doom

2010-11-14T16:28:00.011Z

Just in case you haven't noticed, it's Blackpool next week. Blackpool, Blackpool, Blackpool. It needs to be mentioned at least every five minutes. By the way we're from Blackpool!

Ok, so I've just watched the walkdown and the costumes are awful this week, considering they've been pretty good so far this series this is a disaster in the scrap bin of the fabric department.

Pamela and James
Exhibit A, horrendous Bradford and Bingly ballroom. Seriously, Pamela is gorgeous and they've made her look twice the size she normally is! OK, I typed too soon, bit of the old Bucks Fizz magic and we're away! Once they got on with some proper dancing I saw this was a technically good cha cha, but thought it was a bit slow. Would have liked a full-on, camp-as-Christmas disco number myself.

Michelle and Brendan
Exhibit B, Brendan in the scratchy Ann Summers red lace I'd hoped they'd used up last year. Michelle looks like a loo roll cover, but I can forgive that for the rather impressive skirt work that Brendan did. I do love an experimental paso (with the stress on the mental!) I also quite liked the song choice for the it-shouldn't-work-but-it-does factor. Oh yeah, the dancing? Meh, she got round the floor. Love the word nodulistic, don't love the 4 Craig.

Patsy and Robin
I know it's wrong, but this was a real guilty pleasure of a routine, I loved it! So full of twiddly bits, but lovely storytellling and I was watching Patsy more than Robin for once! These two are totally scoring points in the teamwork and j-j-journey categories. If they get to Blackpool they will have literally been on a journey, so that's ok.

Gavin and Katya
Katya survives bad dress week relatively unscathed, considering the skirt appears to be made out of Muppet. I have no idea what the start was about, it took me a while to remember he was actually dancing. The bits when he was actually doing some proper quickstep were surprisingly good, but I just didn't like this routine. The stop-start aspect was just odd, really don't get what the judges were going on about? TWO NINES?!

Ann and Anton
I think Anton got bored and attempted some proper dancing this week. She didn't get a favourable reception for her assumption she's going to Blackpool on ITT this week and she's had a bad week in the press. It kind of would be a shame if she went out on a week when she had really tried. Amusingly enough, the dress made her look like Madam Mim from the Sword in the Stone.

Wow, an actual VT of Blackpool. I lived in Blackpool for more than 20 years and still call it home, but I have never actually heard anyone call it the Las Vegas of the North. At least they managed to get a bit of sun, or maybe they just added it on the special effects afterwards!

Kara and Artem
Exhibit C: If that hat stays on Kara's head for more than five seconds I will not be happy. Once the pole dancing interlude was over I think they really got into this. The choreography and footwork was really good, Artem has obviously been watching Vincent and Flav doing the old jigsaw-legs as I like to call them. But's the problem with those two magic munchkins, they're so good we hold everyone to a very high Argentine Tango standard!

Felicity and Vincent
They look like two little French Fancies! Not sure what they were trying to do with Vincent's shirt, but it looked three sizes too big. I certainly appreciated the armwork even if it wasn't the best, some people have just forgotten about it all together. I liked the slow opening but felt it went on a bit too long.

Matt and Aliona
I have been waiting for this one all week, my hopes are high Farmer Boy...And well, I was quite impressed! The song choice was perfect in my opinion, really helped build the atmosphere that is crucial. Feeel like it could have done with a tiny bit more hip action but his lines were as great as ever. Think he got the right balance of manly-ness and...erm...rumba-ness?

Scott and Natalie
God awful outfits, Natalie looks like Barbie. Not a special themed Barbie, just a Barbie. Crikey, this was an amazing routine though, it actually deserved its standing ovation! His timing and rhythm were all bang-on and he totally sold it too! Although these props are starting to look like waste of licence fee money, how much time and money must have it have taken to make that stupid door?! It would have worked perfectly well if she had just walked away from him a few times. But woah, the solos were worth it.

My pointless prediction: Bottom two, Felicity and Michelle. But maybe Pam as a shock, because people might forget about her.

UPDATE: Wow, the pointless prediction was right for once! There's not too much to say here really, it bascially was her time to go. Ah, but we have the delights of Blackpool to look forward to next week - yes Blackpool, in case you hadn't heard!

Scores, shocks and sequins

2010-11-06T18:16:00.014Z

Well here we are again, maybe we can pretend last week was some sort of surreal dream? At least someone dusted the cobwebs off the studio.

This week you have just me again, very sorry about that, but Clover is having some sort of computer-based Armageddon and we hope she can return to spangle-land very soon!

Kara and Artem
Currently being stalked by the tabloids, its amazing these two haven't had to black out the studio windows. Really great outfit too, perfectly co-ordinated with her poppy. Nice firecracker of a dance with a classic song choice for the salsa. This is controversial but I quite liked the lifts, they seemed in fitting with the dance rather than being too gratuitous, plus the salsa is much looser anyway.

Pamela and James
So glad to see her back in some proper ballroom in a nice long frock and James yet again chose a fabulous old-school song for them. A few wobbles, but we can forgive her than. Really liked the ending, it was so adorable! Although the cheesy, slightly manic smiles were hilarious! Len was programmed to love this song, maybe Pamela read his mind (there's your dubious psychologist reference for the week).

Felicity and Vincent
Wow, that dress is amazing! Also, quote of the week: Can you be a posh bull? If anyone can be a posh farm animal it's Felicity! Very brave of Vincent her him to let her do the flamenco opening section all alone, but she totally carried it off. Not sure about her hair extension though, it looked like it was about to come around and smack Vincent in the face. A very good paso, but I think it lacked a bit of the 'grrr' factor.

Jimi and FlaviaOh dear oh dear, after as couple of weeks of successes poor Flavia again is at the back of the queue for the costume department. I can hear them now "oh we forgot about her and all we have left is this scarf and some pyjama bottoms...". Thankfully she kicked some ass with some amazing dancing! Jimi was having the time of his life and I must say, there was no gapping. So at least Clover won't start shouting. Nice to see him finally live up to his potential.

Matt and Aliona
Another one I'm happy to see returning to some classic ballroom, even if it means no guyliner. Too bad they got lost in a branch of B&Q at the start, but other than that it was a beautiful routine. That's what annoys me, sure let the rubbish people use props but couples like this don't need it! Slightly unusual but totally divine song choice, made it all feel rather romantic. Loved seeing Bruno get out of his seat at the scandalous suggestion he might have missed a few heel leads.

Ann and Anton
Wow, did the costume people tie Ann to a chair to force her to have her hair and makeup done to proper SCD standards? Now these are people that need props! Saying that, I actually think this was their best routine, totally in keeping with the Charleston. Plus it was worth it to see Anton do a cartwheel. Alesha was right that it was more of a comedy sketch, I personally would have liked them to have dance to Let's Do It by Victoria Wood instead!

Michelle and Brendan
Michelle is actually dressed as a Disney Princess this week, if she goes out they're gonna send her to Disneyland Paris to wave at people in the parade. Such a classic routine from Brendan, maybe to appease Grumpy Pants Len? Not especially exciting overall, but that can be the way with the waltz, so might that put her at risk of going despite the good score?

Patsy and Robin
I can't believe how much if warmed to Patsy throughout this series, it also helps her and Robin have such a good time too. She may have faced the curse of the stairs, but it did mean she did some dancing on her own and she bounded down them like she didn't have a care in the world. She was totally channelling Kylie, but I myself could have done with a bit more camp!

Scott and Natalie
The rumba is really evil. I really have no idea what to make of it; sometimes I feel male contestants get credit for being a big strong man rather than dancing. It's traditional for men who are doing well to stumble here, we've seen it so many times before, so I don't think he's gonna go. Gosh that was boring. The four from Craig was stupid, but so was the nine from Len- is he saying that rumba was one of the best ever?!

Gavin and Katya
Oh ffs, put that rugby ball down Gavin! Clover texted me halfway through saying "Drop the ball!" so at least that made me laugh. God this was terrible, poor Katya. I don't care what the judges said he seemed to be standing around and walking a bit to me. Haha I've just noticed Gav was wearing one of those waistcoats with a hood from the Apprentice. Seriously, three eights? Mental scoring tonight.

Who do I think will go tonight? Think it might be Michelle. I shall come back tomorrow night when I am inevitably proved wrong.

UPDATE: Well I thought I had predicted it right for once, but then I was knocked sideays by the glitterball to see Jimi and Flavia go! I had practically put Michelle on that float in the Disney parade. Well that was a shock and a half, wasn't it?

Fright night

2010-10-30T18:27:00.025+01:00

Here we go then, SCD tries it's first Halloween-themed episode. Will the show collapse under the weight of its own gimmicks?

Well at least we started off the show with the OMG-factor naked pros, with the vampiric power of capes and eyeliner- phwoar! James Jordan's eyes of a killer have finally come in use, small children across the land hide behind their sofas. Fabulous to see Matthew Cutler back though even if he was contained inside a Primark vest.

Ooh look at Tess has got in on the act, coming this week as 80s Goth Barbie.

James and Pamela
I always knew James was the devil, they so should have danced this to Devil in Disguise...Pamela looks as fabulous as ever, I am coming to the conclusion that the fact she is 60 is some sort of twisted LIE, it can't be true! God these two are hilarious! Loved James' nonchalant leap over her and the fact they attempted to actually dance on the stairs. Not as technically good as some of her others but still great fun.

Tina and Jared
Pleather alert! I bet this is what Ola would have been wearing if she'd still been in, but they found another poppet to put it on. The song choice for this this was really good and they got into character, but to me the routine wasn't hard enough. The ending was really good, but I think I was distracted by the costume and she did seem to be walking a bit. Craig might have been harsh, but it was a bit dull.

Kara and Artem
Wow, that was good! Really enjoyed this, keeping with a traditional paso but also using the themes of the song properly. It might have needed a tad more sex, but just a tad, we are British afterall. Certainly her best dance and very grateful they didn't try and cover her in cobwebs or something daft. And look, Alesha has got her 10 out, is it the rule she has to do it first?

Patsy and Robin
I don't think I will ever be able to look at Robin in the same way ever again. That was possibly one of the most surreal things I have ever seen! How the band got through that number without bursting out laughing at the lyrics I do not know. There was a pretty good jive hidden somewhere within the madness, certainly one of Patsy's better dances.

Felicity and Vincent
I see these two have refused to be attacked by the eyeliner monster, I guess Vincent's eyebrow stands out enough on its own. Little Mini Vincent is adorable too, I wonder if they have had his eyebrows checked? This was always going to be a good dance for Felicity, it's perfect for her. Would have preferred it without the marathon jog down the stairs, but thought they managed to do a good routine without it being silly. Quite low scores in my opinion.

Jimi and Flavia
Ooh now that's how you do SCD Halloween costumes, just a touch of theatricality to add to things without going mental. Not too sure about the contacts though, it seemed to make Jimi look a bit robotic. I couldn't be sure if it was a gimmick for the song or if it was bad dancing...Definitely one of his better dances, but not sure about the gushfest from the judges.

Michelle and Brendan
Ok, now THAT is the most surreal thing I have ever seen! Those outfits scared me to death until the music started, then it all made perfect sense. Wish Michelle could have worn the Magenta maid's outfit instead, but this was the best way to let all her hyperactivity out! "Lobotomised, but in a good way" is possibly the best way to describe what the hell is going on. Not surprised Len hated it, fun to see Brendan kick off properly for the first time in ages, now that's classic Strictly!

Gavin and Katya
He's clinging on to that cloak for dear life, isn't he? Unfortunately he was wafting it around like a tea towel. Perfect paso song and outfits...and then all of a sudden it got a bit x-rated! But strangely enough, not particularly gimmicky, I can see Gavin trying to do that in ANY week! As ever with Gavin, not bad, but not that good either.

Scott and Natalie
Natalie looks amazing, Scott looks stupid. Props to this woman, she's scary, but damn she's good! That was an amazing VW routine and the song choice was divine. I could smell a 10, and from Len too, a proper 10! Ooh three 10s, how exciting.

Ann and Anton
I can just imagine what Ann will have said to them when they suggested she wore something Halloween-y, in fact I think they thankfully ignored the idea altogether. Unfortunately she did look like the Queen Mum on some sort of embarrassing national visit to Spain. Although I am always surprised when Anton isn't horrendous at the Paso! It wasn't too bad until he swept the floor with her...

Matt and Aliona
Ok, so Matt does look rather foxy in guyliner. You see, I am so impressed I have been reduced to yet more farming-based puns. Now when we first heard this song choice on ITT it was all 'ZOMG worst song choice...ever!' but I think the band did a really good job of it, so it didn't seem too daft in the end. Or maybe my perception has been warped by this show. This was rather good indeed, but doesn't it make you yearn to see Matt do a PROPER Argentine tango?

Results Show
Erin dressed as Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters was GENIUS! Anton is no Bill Murray however, something for which I think we are all grateful. I am genuinely enjoying this madness, I think it might be time to move back to Blackpool and spend the rest of my days doing panto.

Oh look, it's the showdancers, remember them? Ian, Darren and...a badger? This is the time when I feel it is appropriate to do something with a Halloween theme and this was a rather lovely interlude. I would have preferred Ian dressed as a skeleton for some reason. Alice Cooper was also hilariously appropriate.

As for Tina and Jared, I was quite surprised they went, but Craig's comment they were boring this week was true. The curse of pleather? I do think there was more to come from them, but that's the way the glitterball...er...falls?

A Close Encounter of the Strictly Kind....Part 5!

2010-10-24T10:38:00.010+01:00

Well here we go again off on another Strictly adventure, can you believe we're up to part five of these?! I won tickets for the show via the BBC ballot and took my lovely friend Layla along for the ride as Clover couldn't make it. It was a very long day with about 12 hours at the BBC in total, but it was oh-so-very exciting!

After much advice on Twitter we decided the best time to get there was about 11am and as we rocked up with bags of food and heels in our handbags we discovered there were only about 40 people ahead of us in the queue AND we were the last people to be able to stand under the minimal amount of shelter, score! Thankfully not too cold and we could wander off to Westfield one at a time; I must give a shout-out to the lovely woman who let me sit in her husband's chair for a while! We were let in at about 3pm in the end and had our phones whisked away from us pretty much straight away, which was rather traumatising!

After being put in the holding pen/cafe area for a while we were given a last minute opportunity to go to the loo and we got shepherded outside and around the doughnut bit in the middle of the BBC to go to some extra ones as the queue was massive. Who do we see in the middle of the doughnut, but Len, Vincent, Ola and James having a natter! From a distance we waved and tried not to shriek, but then Flavia walked straight past us! Then shrieking commenced for a few seconds. Not only that on the way back we walked straight past Bruno, who was looking very orange and gave us a crafty smile and wink! This was all so exiting we'd practically forgotten we were going to see the show...

Next we were finally herded into the studio, but it seemed to take a million years to get into there whilst we were all hyper and squealing at the mere sight of some glitter. As we walked in the first thing I realised that the dancefloor is so much smaller than it looks on the TV and the audience is so close! We we're put at the side near the stairs on the back row, which wasn't so bad since you're allowed to stand up and you get a good view of the footwork. Plus we got moved later on, more of that later....

First we had Neil Diamond recorded; he sang live and pretty well at that. However, I was mainly distracted by the fabulous Robin and Kristina. This is also the point in the evening when you realise how much clapping you'll be doing the whole time, my hands hurt so much by the end!

So after a few pre-recorded clips and judges costume changes (Bruno took longer than Alesha!), the show started. Being near the stairs meant we saw most of the outfits pretty close and they were so spangly and cool. I won't do a full run down of all the dances like usual as this would be a huge post, plus I feel like I watched a lot of the dances backwards from where I was sitting.

Flavia and Jimi were a great way to open the show and we were gasping away at the fast footwork, but the windows were lost on us as we were behind them! Next was Scott and Natalie who I was very impressed with, the tango routine was great and there was a lot of menace from Scott, who is much hotter in real life! Plus Natalie's parents were in the audience - neither of them are as tall as you might think!

Moving on to Tina and Jared, they really are teeny tiny and her dress was super-cute as well. Thought this was a pretty good Charleston and they very well with the song choice. Couldn't see any pox on her, but maybe you could on screen! Felicity and Vincent's tango was a treat, when they were preparing to start we thought they were bringing out cocktails for the judges to drink! I got a pretty good view of 'The Kiss' actually, very exciting! Her dress was also much more sparkly up close.

When Patsy first came down the stairs in her wig we were all saying 'Who is that?!' for a few seconds, such a fun idea for her! She seemed to really enjoy the Charleston, but like everyone was exhausted by the end. Some people who new Robin were sitting near us and when they came off stage he was right next to us having a chat with them! So exciting, but we managed not to lunge at him....

Katya totally won the best dress of the night, totally inspired by Kelly Brooke's tango dress. The gloves were fabulous too. This wasn't the world's worst tango, possible slightly undermarked but not dramatically so. Len was right about his facial expression, he did look nervous throughout the whole thing.

Speaking of dresses, when Erin was dancing her Charleston with Peter we could hear the sequins on her skirt clicking together! You do not get that at home! Alas, when the dance ended I did turn to Layla and say without the song that would have been a shambles. Peter was never going to be good at this, but he did give it his all. The gloves were a mistake though, they made his hands look HUGE!

James and Pamela's tango was fab-u-lous! Even with James' satan beard and my dislike of leopard print I thought this was a great dance, I can't wait to see this woman do a paso! Matt and Aliona's Charleston was also amazing and you will never see a more sparkly unicycle! When Bruno gave it an eight I think it got the biggest boo of the night from the audience.

And then came the man we have been missing, Ian Waite appeared looking as tall as ever, Michelle looked quite petite next to him. I think this might have been her best dance, although I do confess I was mostly watching Ian. With Artem and Kara we thought she was slightly undermarked, the judges said it wasn't as funny as the others, but that wasn't the point of the routine. It was more cool and jazz and she did it really well.

And then came flying Ann, we simply could not stop laughing when you added Anton flying himself around the dancefloor on his own. Plus big points to all the people running around getting Ann in and out of that harness without being on camera.

So that was it, as an extra treat about half the celebs came off stage and walked right past where we were standing! I feel I must apologise to Pamela Stephenson for pretty much shrieking "well done, we love you!" right in her face! Also saw Michelle and Patsy AND Billy Connolly waked right past us too, managed to restrain ourselves thankfully and not scream at the poor man.

Then it was the break from the VERY hot studio, when we came back we thought it might not be as exciting as the rest of the show - how wrong we were! Some people had not come back, probably had to catch trains or something, and the floor manager moved us to the fourth row right behind Tess! After much OMG-ing at each other, we had totally forgotten that whilst we had already seen the amazing Argentine Tango being filmed there was another pro dance to come! And what's more it was the GI-themed jive from the pro tour! Oooh men in uniform! This was probably the best thing we saw all night and we were practically jumping out of our new seats.

The results part was quite tense watching everyone line up, thankfully we were given a good bit of light relief from the delightful Claudia. She had very shiny hair and very high shoes this week. How we loved her. After the results we loitered and waved at various celebs and eavesdropped on Matt talking about how tired he was but eventually we were forced out by the BBC people. I tried to take a photo inside the BBC doughnut as we were leaving and who walked right across it but James! And thus the immortal quote 'James Jordan you are ruining my photo!' was born.

A Rumba & The Jungle

2010-10-17T09:03:00.012+01:00

Let's get rrrrready to rrrrrumba! Will that joke ever get old? Here we are in super-hard rumba and quickstep week, get wiggling those hips and...er...skipping with those feet....

Kara and Artem

Well this was an energetic start to the show! Quite liked the musicality of the introduction but it did go on a tad too long; twiddle a the top of the stairs, run down the stairs (very impressed with Kara's jazz hands), twiddle at the bottom of the stairs, Charleston, twiddle, me shouting at the screen having been possessed by Len Goodman. Other than that it was a pretty good routine. Pretty dress for Kara too and Artem's super-high trousers!

Is Artem channelling his inner Monsieur Cowell? My, the trousers reached his armpits. Almost. This was OK. I thought it was overmarked in a kind of Ali Bastian/Lisa Snowdon way. Loved the song choice though and the 'rocky' (no, not the movie...I didn't see Sylvestor Stallone anywhere - unless you did...?) vibe though.

Felicity and Vincent

Crikey, I'm more than half Felicity's age and there's no way I can bend like that! I can't even touch my toes even after various yoga sessions and she appears to have no spine! That and Vincent's rather exciting white trousers I was quite distracted from the rumba technique, what with me being a world-renowned rumba specialist of course. Thought it was quite nice myself, subtle, but that is what Felicity appears to be doing. Nice, but how long will it last?

OK, so Felicity is more supple than Bedtime Barbie. (No? My cousin had one. She was so floppy. Like all her bones - if Barbie had bones - had been magically disappeared by, uh, Professor Lockheart. HP joke, natch...I digress too much...) OK, so yes, she's bendy. But the rest of it was a bit pants.

Patsy and Robin

As Claudia would say, it took about 900 years to get in hold, which sometimes wouldn't be bad, but not when you're trying to line dance in a ballgown. There was a bit of gallumphing about (is it just me and my mum who use that word?), but I don't think it was as bad as the judges made out. Plus it's better to see Patsy enjoying herself than looking like she's going to crack at any second.

Ragdoll.com. Now I have the Raggy Dolls theme tune stuck in my head. Ah, children of the 80s...I digress again. Erm, back to the point. Sorry, but it was that bad. She was just getting dragged about. There was no gallumphing about it. Good word though. Gallumphing implies she was moving under her own steam. The steam was all Robin's. These guys have a fierce set of fans though - and why shouldn't they? - I don't think they'll be going anywhere soon.

Paul and Ola

Is it only me who would prefer the magic tricks if they were a bit better? Pulling a flower out of your sleeve is hardly David Blaine. Maybe he could learn some sexy mind tricks from Derren Brown and convince us he is a good dancer? (Actually, Derren Brown doesn't need tricks since actually did a fair bit of latin/ballroom is his youth, random fact for you there). Anyway, if we must discuss the dance, I want to make a joke about hip replacements even if it is totally cliche.

Thing is, Ann Widdecombe's getting the John Sergeant vote. I'm all for a gimmicky contestant to a point...but the ballroom's not big enough for two of them.

Matt and Aliona

Bejesus this was fast! I remember looking at the ITT training footage and thinking Matt could trip or really get lost in all that choreography but he handled it pretty well. For the first half of the dance he did look like he was counting in his head but by the end he was really enjoying himself. A bit flying-off-the-seat-of-your-spangly-pants, but I like a bit of that sometimes! Really great song choice from Aliona there too, someone correct me if it's been used before, because I can't believe such as gem hasn't been.

This was quickstep on SPEED. This was quickstep wot haz downed Red Bull and possibly that new, bright green Mountain Dew too. And possibly a Pro Plus. This woz a footwork trip and a half. Luckily not literally. He did marvellously to keep up. Good job, old boy, good job.

Gavin and Katya

Hmmm...does anyone think they're doing a bit of expectation management on Gavin? Every week I think he's going to be horrendous and then he seems to get through the routine ok. Again, think the judges were a bit harsh on a week 3 rumba, he did seem to be moving those hips to me. It's not like men have much to do in the rumba anyway! Not sure about Katya's dress, looked like something stupidly expensive from Kate Moss' so-called 'festival wear' thankfully glammed up with a pair of sparkly pants.

Ms. Frankie, I agree. There was some movement there. Something which all of the judges seemed to miss. It wasn't great but he's trying. Katya's dress looked like something from Laura Ashley circa 1986. And did you see it bunching up at the stomach? She'll be stealing Lilia's pregnancy rumours with wardrobe choices like that.

Scott and Natalie

This was my favourite performance of theirs so far, so much less gimmicky bits and proper dancing. That girl knows her quickstep and they had a bit of fun at first but didn't take took long to get into hold. Natalie's dress was a bit scary, but I liked what they did with Scott's tie, the song could have been a bit odd but it actually worked out. Job well done.

Have I stumbled into Disneyland? Oh come on, if you're gonna go that twee, at least dress as a monkey. Staying on The Jungle Book theme, Natalie, of course doesn't need to dress as a monkey as she's clearly going for the manic, hypnotic-eyed snake Kaa...Is she trying to hypnotize us at home? Maybe. Who knows. Oh yes, yes, it was a good effort. But I'm not warming to them. It's Ricky Whittle II. Snooze.

Michelle and Brendan

That's Vincent's outfit from last week on Brendan! Have they stretched it from munchkin to kiwi size? How odd. Quite liked this as a controlled and romantic rumba, but at times she did look like she was hanging on for dear life. The four from Craig was well harsh, innit.

Oh I'm just going to come out and say it. She's rubbish. She's never going to be able to dance. She's this year's Craig Kelly. Michelle, Michelle, Michelle...yes, the judges are being more picky with you. Because. There. Is. More. To. Pick. On. Glad to see Brendan doing his best impression of a chocolate mousse.

Peter and Erin

I have to say before this starts Erin looks amazingly good on her top half this week, but has unfortunately fallen prey to the clown trousers! Peter scrubs up quite nice too, ballroom was always going to be more of his thing. Alesha was right that it was his best dance, but not sure about the last bit where they just kinda ran around for a bit. Good on him for doing well, the dads will be proud!

This may surprise you all. I'm all for Erin this year. This was good. And if she got a good performance out of this guy - who, I believe, will only get better and better (if we ignore the latin dances) - she must be a bloody good teacher. Which we know she is. We might joke about the woman being an evil genius and all...she might not be evil, but genius... well, maybe she is that.

Jimi and Flavia

This was an a-ma-zing routine from Flavia, one of the best rumba ones I think I've seen on the show in a while. It wasn't painfully slow like some of them are and there wasn't a chance to get bored. The judges thought it was a bit too frantic, but I think that was part of the storytelling. Flavia also appears to have put her tiny foot down and insisted on having a nice frock again, you go girl!

Poor Jimi. Looked like he hadn't had his All Bran. Think it was a bit try-hard on his part...but come on, the judges were harsh. He clearly has ability. Clare-from-work noticed that his footwork was spot on (that kind of thing gets discussed at her house a lot) and the body movement was almost there...just a bit spasm-y. This guy is loving it. And he's a good sport. I think we can only expect better...

Ann and Anton

Thank god they got around to designing her a new frock, slightly less Queen Mum this week. I don't want to get too carried away, but did anyone else see Ann do some actual steps this week? But are we ready fo her to do another latin? Is ANTON ready for another latin?

That Quickstep footwork that Ann managed, very well, was not easy. I'm glad she got credit for it. I love these two. They should enjoy their time before the inevitable backlash begins. Obviously that will be when a couple of mediocre contestants get thrown out a couple of weeks earlier than they otherwise ought. The only question is who will be this year's Gabby Logan?

Pamela and James

Really wasn't sure about the bacofoil fabric of the dress, but I think that's about the only thing I can criticise about this. Liked Len's use of the word poignant. Good old team PamJam, I guess it's not really a surprise it took a psychologist to make us warm to James Jordan!

I LOVE this woman. She's so full of life and I think she's one of the most talented dancers ever seen on Strictly. This is two fingers up to the BBC over the ageism thing...I'm already putting myself out there saying I'd love Pamela to win. The woman is 60. It's amazing. Long live PamJam. (They should market that).

Turns, Tassles and Tangotrots

2010-10-09T17:52:00.016+01:00

Strictly really has had a makeover. The dancers appear able to break hold, thus making the fabricated 'American Smooth' of other series redundant. I can live with that. It allows creative freedom and keeps it fresh. The four 'Tangotrots' (Foxtrots with a Tango air, swivels, ochos etc) this evening would not have been so easily possible last year - (is this a current trend in dance btw? It seems odd that four couples came out and did something similar...) The use of p-p-p...oh I can't even say it, p-p-props, however... Well, the jury's still out on that. Right now, it's not looking favourable. I can understand it for the 'entertaining' celebs but it seems naff for the ones who can really dance. - C

Matt and Aliona

There's a lot of pressure on this guy's shoulders and not just from lumbering around with pumpkins and thankfully no tweed ballgown. I think I mentioned this last year, but sometimes when the pros don't fancy a dance they seem to just do something else, this was basically a tango-foxtrot. Matt's frame is really good but he looks a tiny bit robotic to me. Nothing like a random sex-attack at the end to liven things up though!

Tangotrot No. 1. Aliona is very clearly demonstrating that she's an extremely creative and talented choreographer. Who really doesn't like rules. Good job they've done away with them this year then. Oh, can't you just see Len biting his tongue? I think Craig is stamping on his feet under the table or squeezing his...hand, like, really hard. Because really, so much of this year's routines are just...faffing. Aren't they?

Peter and Erin

Imagine you're at a wedding, imagine your dad has had five pints, imagine there's something on the ceiling for him to point at irregularly. Your Great Auntie Mildred is filming it and you will laugh at it affectionately for years to come. That was this dance! Peter is very sweet and was certainly having a good time, gotta love a man who throws himself into it like that, so I think that is all that matters really.

Ah, salsa. No wonder we can't recruit new male salsa dancers. Oh guys, come on, it's really not like this. This is a style of salsa that has been picked up by ballroom dancers and they've run with it all the way to sequin-spangle-land. Which is about as far removed from the salsa I know as you can get. I'm not complaining as such; this is a ballroom dance show. It should be showy. And yes, your average social salsa dance isn't much to watch. I just feel it's misrepresented just a tad too much. Come along and see some of my male salsa friends dance. They're cool. This wasn't.

Oh the dance? Meh. Could be leaving us...

Tina and Jared

Tina gets the Disney Princess dresses that Ali specialised in last year, and of course it's perfect for a little pocket person. Jared made this very old school LA with a bit of razz-matazz thrown in (have I spelt that right? what does it even mean?). Certainly better than last week but still some nerves, who is getting the whiff of a j-word here?

Maybe. But I don't think we are going to warm to these two as much as I thought we would. They seem devoid of all personality. And Jared doesn't really seem up to the same standard as the other professionals. Perhaps he just needs more experience. But then you see young 'uns like Julianne Hough on Dancing with the Stars going for it like they've got dynamite in their tootsies (toes, to clarify) - and Jared seems a bit like he's firing on a damp match. Maybe confidence and time can help these two. They are all of adorable. And Tina has the potential to be a cracking dancer.

Patsy and Robin

After a slow start last week the training footage looked pretty promising and she seems to love her SCD-style LBD. The song was a fabulous choice, one of my real favourites, and she totally sold it with her enthusiasm and massive disco hair. Not really sure what I thought about it as a salsa though, didn't think there was enough arm-work etc. But glad to see she found her mojo, her face when she got the marks was a picture!

First of all, I love watching Robin dance. And Patsy, my, she did well with this one. Clearly the wardrobe department has given up on bespoke dancewear and has started sourcing costumes in Jane Norman. Ohh, gawd, I'm coming off as a right old grump today aren't I? Here I go again...but there was so much strutting and not much dancing. I am channelling my inner Len. As it seems he no longer cares...

Paul and Ola

OMG do we have to suffer some sort of magic trick every week? Nice traditional foxtrot, Ola as good as ever with the choreography. Bruno is right though, he does just sort of wander off sometimes like he's looking for the loo.

It wasn't unpleasant. Foxtrot is my least favourite dance. And yes, Paul does seems like he's just off on a stroll in the park and interacts with Ola as though she's a pesky Jack Russell who's blocking his path. And yes Alesha, ballroom is going to suit him more than latin. He's, like, 190. Way to point out the obvious.

Scott and Natalie

Well I think we have found something to finally replace Lilia's S4-Samba-turban, that is a headband and a half! The complete kitsch-tastic song somehow won me over even thought I should have hated it, the whole thing was like something from a classic 80s cheesy film. Buy your own spangled-flannel shirt in River Island come monday...

NO! They can replace Lilia, but they cannot replace her turban. Oh, this was so camp. And Natalie is so manic-of-eye. It wasn't bad. Yes Len, it was really good but not a really good salsa. It was what it was. It was good at what is was. I have a shirt like Scott's.

Michelle and Brendan

Now that is a dress (think it might be my favourite) and that is a entrance from Brendan, that man was born in the wrong decade. Totally loved the routine, proper foxtrot stuff with a bit of glam. There's was a nice balance of constructive criticism from the judges and Michelle has worked hard, but dammit where is the crazy girl who has 12 sugars in her coffee?!

Loved the traditional mood of this. It had the air of something smooth. The execution was a little bumpy though. Michelle is not a natural dancer and probably never will be. She's a bit like Heather Small and may just about get to competent with a bit of time and a lot of work. Great song choice and charming dress. I don't know how much the public has warmed to her though...she could be trouble.

Goldie and Kristina

Kristina really knows how to choreograph for her partners, since she's had a lot of work to do over the years! The routine really suited him but was actually not too complicated. Certainly better than last week and actually quite interesting for a foxtrot. And whilst props are the last refuge of the desperate, hats do not count!

Oh. The P. Word. P-p-props. Don't get me started. Makes me very uncomfortable. But yeah, a hat doesn't count. Looks like Kristina's been dealt a poor hand again. I just don't think there's very far he can go and I'd be worried if I were them this week. He's not good enough. And it's Strictly...he's just not bad enough either. Liked the song and the routine. But so forgettable amongst all the others.

Pamela and James

Probably the most 'proper' salsa routine of the night, meaning we forgive the Carry On Doctor opening. Wow this woman is fearless! Technique was pretty good but totally won over by her manic smile. As she said in her blog "I now understand why patients refuse anti-psychotic medication". Not sure if that dress has sleeves or not, wardrobe department you are teasing me...

Whip off that horrendous opening and I actually did like this. Please James, no. This girl does not need the gimmicks. And for those of you who have been waiting with baited breath (on Twitter don't cha know...) for me to announce my favourite couples. Here is one. I adore this pair. I love Pamela. And, my my, she can dance. She is full of verve and vim and vigour (all tragically under-used words imo) I'll even call this song acceptable. At a push. We have never had a winner like Pamela. I cannot wait to see how far she can go.

Felicity and Vincent

Now those are sleeves, but my word there are boobs too! This routine was classic Vincent, beautiful song choice too. Like the judges said it was good, but not spectacular, but this woman has so many fans I'm sure she'll be fine.

Tangotrot No. 2. Mmm, they looked like little Gu desserts. Scrummy. She's going to suit the ballroom more, as expected. This was a nice job but a tad forgettable. Apart from the fact that at some points she does look like she's taking a pee against a tree. Ok, it's Vincent, a bonsai tree then. Oh! She's so lovely I feel like I've just sworn at my Grandma. Does anyone else miss seeing the couples wait nervously behind the curtain as their names are announced?

Ann and Anton

Brace yourselves, here we go! The woman deserves a 10 simply for encasing the du Beke rug back in it's shirt where it belongs. Although I must ask if she is going to wear the same dress in different colours every week, a fashion mistake last seen on the Queen Mum. Actually there seemed to be some basic steps in there! Maybe she'll get a higher mark that Laila...

Now this may surprise you. This was, in fact, the most authentic salsa dance of the night. Nay, EVER on Strictly. How so?! I hear you cry. Anne was jabbering away at Anton all the way through. I'm sure I heard her say "Where were your arms???" This is precisely the kind of conversation (including the finger pointing) a bickering salsa couple has on the dancefloor. I'm not even joking. Kudos.

Kara and Artem

There was a hint of props at the start, but thankfully it turned into a very good routine. Kara's arms are really good, despite the supposed travesty of the left index finger. Put that 9 down Alesha, did no one follow my advice to take it away from her for a few weeks?

Tangotrot No. 3. And a 9? Week 2? Don't get me started.

Gavin and Katya

Well that's a relief, I thought we were going to get through a whole episode without any fringed outfits! I think that might be my favourite outfit of the series so far, because I'm classy and understated like that. Better than I thought it was going to be, like last week, think the judges were a bit harsh for his first latin! He had his game face on again, surprisingly intense actually!

Well he's embracing the sparkle in that pink shirt. But he just wasn't comfortable. Which kind of makes it squirmy to watch. Plfff.

Jimi and Flavia

Flavia finally gets a good dress after about three years of bin liners and net curtains, joyous day! Like Len, I think it got a lot better as it went along, but there were some very amusing faces from Jimi throughout.

Tangotrot No. 4 (though more for mood than steps on this one) For our Twitterites, this is my favourite couple number two. Jimi is just loving it and that makes me love him. Flavia's dress was my favourite of the week and I loved the routine. Great musicality. And the fact that he's leading is extra-awesomary.

See you soon for results!

And so the J-word begins...

2010-10-01T20:47:00.012+01:00

Here we go, the phoney war is over and the new studio is open for business. Other than that, it's like we've never been away...it's spangle time!

Felicity and Vincent
Oh what a doll Felicity looks, a charming age-appropriate dress without an inch of frump. Wardrobe you have won me over already! And thankfully Vincent has not yet lost that eyebrow, I don't think they do transplants on the NHS. Then the music starts and it's literally one of my favourite songs ever! Am I having some sort of SCD-hallucination already? Not nearly as camp as we normally see from a cha cha, it was as frothy as a macaroon. A classy macaroon you might get from Selfridges' food hall.

Scott and Natalie
Twiddly opening alert! Not already, crikey, Natalie threw everything into that routine apart from a lift. She's playing a clever game already that Natalie, she knows her arch rival Erin isn't going to be doing much raunch with Mr Shilton. My opinion? All mouth, no trousers but certianly has potential.

Goldie and Kristina
I've been waiting for this and the spangle-tastic shirt in week 1 is always a good sign! Embrace the sparkle Goldie! Squealed the second the song started, Ke$ha had to be used at some point in the series but this early on is a treat. Oh what fun that dance was, just the right side of drunk-uncle-at-a-wedding (Drunkle) and he was obviously enjoying every second.

Patsy and Robin
She looks like a giant strawberry. And why is Robin dressed for the paso? I was about to type lovely pivots and then she fell over, typical!

Matt and Aliona
I was very intrigued by those costumes...but then I was gobsmacked at how damn good Matt Baker is! This was my face --> :O . Also the band really surpassed themselves with the song. Back to the gimmickry of the costumes, will they keep this agricultural theme up? Will they be foxtrotting with Matt as the hunter and Aliona as the fox? Pantomime cow in the showdance?

Pamela and James
What a dirty laugh that woman has, I like her already. Plus she seems to be willing to wear the most drag queen-esque of dresses. The song has been used before, but when it's that good you can't blame them. Maybe a little overrated as the judges turned it into a gush-fest but she is one to watch in the ballroom.

Paul and Ola
The moment you haven't been waiting for...Oh god, he's producing Ola out of a box and not doing any dancing and the music is gimmick-tastic, I despair! Saying that, I don't think they needed to waste so much time on that considering he could actually do the steps. I could name three other worse first dances off the top of my head (...erm...Quentin Wilson, Joe Calzaghe, Christopher Parker).

After only seven dances I was quite sad for the show to end, I was just getting into it. Bring on seven more! Nice to see them all out as a team, a technicolour spectacular of costumes!

Jimi and Flavia
Hotly tipped favorites dancing first? There is hope for the 'dance-first-get-to-the-final' paradigm yet! Cracking song too! Poor Flavia has had another costume accident again though, this time getting some cat toys attached to her dress. And while I'm on costumes yet again, was it just me or did Jimi's shirt look really baggy? It distracted me quite a bit. However, the dance was totally energetic and feisty, expectations are high but it's a promising start.

Peter and Erin
Loving the BBC's use of I'm Still Standing for Erin's intro, how tongue in cheek! Now if there's anyone who can teach a man to waltz whilst being a criminal mastermind and throw in some high kicks for good measure it's Erin. Wasn't sure about the bit at the end, thought Peter had dropped her in some sort of goalie-related gaffe! Oh look, and now Craig has stolen my joke - great minds!

Michelle and Brendan
Ooh I've been waiting for this, Michelle is turning out to be endearingly insane. Really good routine from Brendan, he was totally right to let her get her sass on! Certainly not perfect and Bruno's stilts comment was quite right because she did look hesitant at times. There could be potential for a journey here. Len was a bit harsh, remember it is week one!

Gavin and Katya
Katya gets the most restrained dress of the night, but it is rather Oscar-night-tasteful. For all his nerves it looks like he pulled it together on the night, I was pleasantly surprised. Feeling slightly disarmed by this, can we have him doing a lumbering cha cha to Crazy Chick next week?

Tina and Jared
It's the ickle pocket people and they've even come dressed as ickle Barbie and nerd-Ken! I wondered if this song would be used since it's cha cha perfect, thankfully the whipped cream was replaced by some big silver pants. I thought it was a bit cha-cha-lite, the diet coke of latin. Must do better kids.

Ann and Anton
Now this is the moment you've been waiting for. Ah and Brucie gets to attempt satire, bless. The training footage is so bumblingly British I'm surprised there isn't a Carry On film in the works. Not sure about the outfit, looks like some sort of pink bin-liner. Everyone is playing their roles perfectly and there's no way she's going home first. Bring on that salsa- Anton is amusing enough when he does it so there could be some funnies of Christopher Parker proportions!

Kara and Artem
What is going on with Kara's outfit, is that what Kat Slater thinks she looks like inside her own head? Not sure what to make of this one, after a promising start it didn't seem to go anywhere. Fur coat no knickers? (lol, I love that phrase!). She did recover from that fall like a champion, but I wouldn't say it was the best of the night. Overmarked in my opinion.

And here we have Robbie and Gary, I really don't get what the fuss is about apart from marvelling that they've both lost a fair bit of weight! It was like relationship counselling with glitter.

So Matt and Pam tied at the top and Paul at the bottom, not too out of place with our poll. Don't know if I can wait a whole week to see more, Strictly is well and truly back!

The Winning Formula - revisited!

2010-09-30T14:56:00.007+01:00

As we rub our hands together with glee waiting for the new spangle-tastic series of SCD to beging tomorrow I thought it was time to revisit last year's Winning Formula post. The formula stood up to some scrutiny last year, even if our poll didn't - I am looking at all you people who thought Joe Calzaghe was going to win! This year's poll suggests Jimi Mistry or Matt Baker might just grab that glitterball, but we know better when it comes to this perfectly calculated set of variables...

So who will win this year...let us find out!

1) Get the party started
This was one of the most fascinating and steadfast rules of SCD, dance first in the opening show and you will make it to the final. Unfortunately last year managed to ruin that! Whilst the blame cannot be entirely placed on Rav Wilding or Natalie Cassidy it has made me a bit grumpy for the rest of the year. The dance first formula even worked on Let's Dance for Comic Relief BOTH years! So whoever dances first this year, I have my eye on you...

2) Quit your day job
Another variable that needs a bit of fine tuning...it shall now be known as 'Quit your day job, unless you are a BBC newsreader'. Since Natasha and Chris are the only two to win the show whilst doing a day job there must be something super-steely and hardworking about those who hang out in the BBC newsroom. Now Scott Malsen, you may think auntie beeb is doing you a favour shifting your filming around, but I think Jack Branning needs to take a few weeks off from Albert Square if you're gonna go all the way!

3) Blondes don't have more fun
Yet again last year the blonde was pipped to the post, hot favourite and blonde Ali Bastion does not make the final *tear*sob*sigh*, in fact she came third, as did Emma Bunton and Zoe Ball. Spooky? No, it's spangly scientific fact. Plus one of our favourite blonde pro dancers Katya has gone to brunette this year, she knows what she's doing! As for this year's people, Tina, Felicity, Pamela and Patsy had better consider a trip to the hairdressers before the semi-finals!

4) Latin Fever
Our darling Ola kept up the tradition of latin experts winning the show last year, so what chance do Anton, Erin and Natalie stand? Well, as Clover would say, Erin and Natalie will be trapped in a Bond Girl-style battle of wills all series so that will be quite distracting for them. Anton on the other hand...well if anyone wants to see Ann Widdecombe do the Argentine Tango and a spectacular showdance get voting tomorrow night!

5) Embrace the sparkle!
Ah my favourite of all variables, getting down to some serious sparkle! As a celeb you are used to a glamorous lifestyle but when it comes to SCD you aint seen nothing yet. Lock yourself in the fake tan booth, wear so many crystals you're too heavy to walk and dance down the street because you've got to give it your all! Chris had the time of his life last year and emerged the colour of a Christmas satsuma...speaking of satsumas (satsumi?) Gavin Henson is already pretty orange, but also looks quite bewildered so needs to embrace the sparkle. Others like Pamela and Jimi already seem to be totally getting into it, so bring it on!

So with a few tweaks the winning formula now looks like this...

(Try to) dance first - day job (unless BBC news-bod) + brunette x latin pro + sparkle = VICTORY!

See you on the dancefloor...

Strictly Come... Libraries?

2010-09-25T09:12:00.002+01:00

Clare-from-work and I looked on in complete jealousy at Frankie's post about the dresses. I mean, we have the illuminations here but that's nothing compared to Louisa's jive dress, is it, if we're honest? So, in a flurry of sequins and feathers (that we just happened to have lying around, oooh yes) we created our own little Strictly-themed display. And that got us thinking how many Strictly-related books have sprung up over the years. Of course there's the obvious guides and annuals...and Anton's book (aka The Bible)...and forgotten gems such as Darren Gough's Dazzler on the Dancefloor (Have you seen it? It's wicked. Wicked? How old am I? Eight - circa 1993?) Last year saw the release of a Strictly 'Step by Step Dance Class' book in addition to the usual series guide and let-us-not-forget Craig and Len's biographies...

But it's not only books about the show itself- fiction writers are capitalising on the rising popularity of ballroom, latin and other forms of dance. There's The Ballroom Class by Lucy Dillon, which follows the lives of characters who are attending their local ballroom class. Arlene (yes the Arlene) says 'It's for everyone who loves to watch dance, join in a dance and all those whose heart is in dance' Definitely aimed at Strictly superfans then, no?! Next up is Strictly Love by Julia Williams...and the connection is obvious from the title. And perhaps not so explicitly connected, but definitely worth a mention, is Living La Vida Loca by Belinda Jones. Its shocking pink cover and dance-fuelled storyline will appeal to the Strictly Set just as much as the previous two.

So there's a few suggestions for filling up your Strictly Bookshelf...or...if you think about it...all will be available to order from your local library ;-)

A Close Encounter of the Strictly Kind...Part 4!

2010-09-22T17:58:00.026+01:00

Here we are again with another of our random SCD-related encounters, can you believe we're up to number four?!

So, the BBC decide to put some dresses on display at BBC TV Centre, I have some time off work, it's a match made in spangly heaven and I go out and take some photos! Be warned it was a sunny day and I was taking them through some glass, so the quality is not the best. But if you're in the area they are totally worth a look at!

Here we start with Aliona's opening number frock from last year, just in case you were wondering it is held together with two bits of sparkly dental floss at the back!

Getting this close to the dresses was a real treat, this is Ali's Viennese Waltz dress, the detailing you can see is gorgeous, I spent ages staring at it!

Next up was Cherie's rumba dress, ooh what a sophisticated treat it was. If you look carefully you can actually see where the leotard bit is that all the costumes are built around. The mesh inset at the side also made remember just how very orange the contestants have to be!

Next I had a right old giggle at Joe Calzaghe's Eye-of-the-Tiger-what-the-bejibbens-is-going-on-here paso outfit! The welsh dragon detailing was great, can't believe someone went to the effort of making all that! I also went to the effort of going inside the studios like a stalker loon to get a photo of the back of the Calzaghe cape for you all. I had to say 'excuse me' in my politest voice to an old man sitting on a chair next to it and everything.

Coming back to some more beautiful frocks, here we have Natalie Cassidy's foxtrot dress. I remember thinking this was lovely at the time, but up close it is gorge-ous. The style makes me think of Erin and the stoning and detailing on it really is a treat. The back is just as good as the front, as with all good ballroom dresses.

On the end of the first half is the joy that is Julian's tour samba costume, complete with sparkly maracas! I saw this on the tour with Clover, we loved it so much at the time and it brought back some funny memories. Too bad there wasn't Lilia's seriously over-the-top outfit in the same colour to go with it, but I think it might have blinded passing pedestrians!

Turning the corner I saw the second half of the costumes and gasped in succession as I looked down the line, at this stage I wasn't too bothered if a security guard came to ask what I was squealing at! First up is both Camilla and Tom's Salsa outfits. If they could get anymore fringing on that dress then I don't think she would have been able to walk.

Next in line *gasp* Zoe's tango dress! This is one of my all-time favourite dresses (more on that later) so this was totally making the trip worthwhile. Zoe has a tiny ribcage by the way. Again get more intricate detailing and it looked pretty heavy.
Hitting me with shocks along the line, we then come to Louisa's jive dress! The jive dress, in all it's lime green spangly glory! *sigh* what happy memories. At this point a random man came by and decided to have a look at the dresses near me, I was tempted to shout "These are historical artifacts to me!" but I thankfully restrained myself.
And THEN came the one and only Ramps' salsa shirt! The shirt that caught on the microphone, but we won't hold that against it. By the looks of it Ramps has very broad shoulders, pwhoar.

Next up in the pleasant surprises is Rachel's' rumba dress, again the detailing in this thing that you might not have noticed on the show is amazing. This was a particularly hard one to get photos of as its so dark but it really is stunning.

And finally, last but certainly not least, we come to Zoe's American Smooth from last year. This really was a surprise for me, because I didn't really remember it but when I saw it I went straight back and spend the rest of the afternoon singling My Girl to myself. It really is gorgeous, like a strictly wedding dress!

That was the whole selection and it was a fun way to spend some time of an afternoon, if you are in the area I would certainly recommend popping by for a gawp. There were lots of other people having a nosy as they walked past, admittedly not taking photos and squealing to themselves but each to their own! Plus if you stick your head around the door and go into the foyer there are some rather amusing cardboard-cut-out surprises!

La Musica!

2010-09-15T08:59:00.001+01:00

Last year we posted suggestions for some of the music we’d like to see used on Strictly Come Dancing. Last year saw some highs (such as the great Sonora Carruseles tracks Acuyeye and Micaela for salsas) and some lows (too many rock/pop ballads for the tangos and pasos) I was considering writing a plea for more authentic latin music to be used for tangos, sambas and salsas, but I realised that would make me sound like a pedant. Generally, they make the mood of the dance stronger – either broodingly passionate for a tango or tropical-coconuts-and-maracas-with-sprinkles for a samba. But sometimes an unexpected arrangement can work remarkably well (Case in point, Darren Bennett’s use of Maneater for a tango). So I won’t rant too much...

Strange and Beautiful – Aqualung- Waltz

I’m still lobbying for this one; I think it would be lovely.

Proud Mary – Tina Turner – Jive

Suggested on Twitter by jitterbug96. It has been used as a pro jive before but it’s a great choice as it’s currently popular due to Glee!

Pack Up –Paloma Faith –Jive or Quickstep

I suggested jive; shortysheila thinks quickstep. Either could work. Nice current song.

Temba Tumba y Timba – Los Van Van; Abre que Voy – Miguel Enriquez; Ay! Ay Amor – David Calzado y Charanga Habanera – salsa

Some nice Cuban salsa or timba tracks. I believe the salsas work so much better with real latin music. Tweet @chrisofthetelly with your salsa music suggestions and he said he’d put the best to the producers.

El Cantante – Hector Lavoe/Marc Anthony; Salsa Dura/Duelo de Bongo –La Excelencia; Correla – Salsa Celtica - Salsa

Some ‘harder’ salsa sounds but still catchy.

The Best Years of Our Lives – Modern Romance – Samba

Suggested by Gin_Girl.

Toxicity –System of a Down – Paso Doble

Frankie’s all time favourite suggestion. Will someone just do it to put her out of her misery?

Uprising – Muse – Paso Doble

Suggested on Twitter by ShellyM1987

Bumpy Ride – Mohombi; Batacuda – Sergio Mendes; Jump in the Line – Harry Belafonte – Samba

Bumpy Ride is bound to be an autumn hit and would make a great samba. So much by Sergio Mendes and similar artists make great sambas...why use a disco track when you can have real atmosphere with something like this, or Aquerela do Brasil...or...? And the Harry Belafonte? For Beetlejuicy novelty value.

La Complainte de la Butte – Rufus Wainwright (from Moulin Rouge); Once Upon a Dream – from Disney’s Sleeping Beauty; Paris – Edith Piaf; What’s New Pussycat? – Tom Jones; My Favourite Things – Big Brovaz – Viennese Waltz

Our Viennese Waltz suggestions from last year.

We Belong Together – Gavin DeGraw – Rumba

Suggested on Twitter by Emmabtvs

Not Fair – Lily Allen; Johnny Got a Boom Boom – Imelda May; Bei Mir Bist Du Schon – The Puppini Sisters; My Generation –The Who – Quickstep

Last year’s quickstep suggestions

Tu vuò fà l'americano – Renato Carosone; Why Don’t You Do Right? – Peggy Lee/Imelda May

Both of these tracks have been remixed into dance hits this year. Tu vuo fa...would make a great quickstep. The original Why Don’t You Do Right by Peggy Lee would work as a foxtrot or American Smooth; Imelda May’s version would make a great jive.

More or less anything by The Baseballs – Jive or Rock and Roll

German Rock and Roll cover group. Like the male ‘50s style version of The Puppini Sisters.

Cry Me Out – Pixie Lott – Viennese Waltz

Suggested by SharonFindlay on Twitter.

You Know Me – Robbie Williams – Viennese Waltz

An obvious choice. These 3/4 tracks are pretty hard to come across.

Rock the Casbah – The Clash; Mony Mony – Billy Idol – Cha Cha Cha

Some kitsch rocky cha cha chas.

Blame it on the Girls – Mika – Cha Cha Cha

Frankie’s suggestion. She always thinks it would work well as a group number.

Remedy – Little Boots – Tango

Another suggestion from Ms. Frankie. I think this might have been on our list last year. We like this girl because she’s from Blackpool!

Empire State of Mind- Alicia Keyes – Foxtrot

The stripped down version. Frankie says it so could be jazzed up for an American Smooth though.

It Must Be Love – Madness – American Smooth

Unconventional choice by Frankie for an American Smooth but it is the ultimate choice. The lifts would fit in marvellously.

I Just Haven’t Met You Yet –Michael Buble – Foxtrot/American Smooth

As Frankie says, sooo cheesy but sooo right for Strictly.

Dimelo – Marc Anthony; Corazon Espinado- Santana – Cha Cha Cha

Two Spanish language cha cha tracks that would work well.

Everything I Can’t Have – Robin Thicke; You’re Fine – Alex Wilson – Salsa

Two English language salsa tracks that would be great to hear on Strictly.

More suggestions on last year’s post here http://frankieandcloverstrictly.blogspot.com/2009/08/music-choices.html

Tweet your suggestions using the tag #strictlysongchoice or comment below!

Strictly Blind Date

2010-09-11T18:27:00.015+01:00

Here we go then, everyone is decked out in their finery and Bruce has been brought out of the freezer, it's time to start the show!

I'm starting to think in purple. Just so yer know. Frankie blogged as she went along and my comments come with hindsight from watching the whole show. This really was a cracker. Waay better than a Cream Cracker; definitely a Tuc at least. It feels like the show has gone back to basics - but the basics are better. And that it's the dawn of a new Strictly era.

Group pro number

Perfect starter to the show. I totally didn't recognise Katya with her brown hair, thought it was someone new! Didn't notice the blingy new set until Clover texted me about it, thankfully Brucie pointed it out to us slow old people. Not 100% sure about the brown outfits, but I guess it might mean the grey elephant-skin material has finally run out and there's none left in the bargain bin

As for the contestant walk down, I loved Pamela Stevenson's wobble, feel sorry for whoever gets her when she can't manage some stairs. And can I point out Ann Widdecombe is not an MP anymore so is not the right honourable anything anymore, especially after jigging about on this show! Kara blatantly knows someone in wardrobe, as she has all the best outfits a la Kelly Brook. Loved Goldie's little jig down the stairs, really want him to be the 'gusto' contestant this year!

And it's kick-off time, and ooh look Peter Shilton is in the first batch, how punningly appropriate...

Scott and...NATALIE!

OOH she's got the big guns again this year! Wow, I guess being tall means she gets all the big men and there are no bean-poles like Chris Parker this year.

Natalie aka Arch Nemesis looked muchos pleasos with this partner. They were all standing there and they must have been playing the 'guess by height' name too, so it can't have been too much of a surprise to her. Because really, how Lowe can you go? *groooan*

Matt and...ALIONA!

Hey, this could work. He's a gymnast, she's wee, could be perfect. Matt is proving to be value for money, what with his promise to be incredibly cheesy and taking his partner out mud-samba-ing.

This might give Aliona a bit more of a go than last year. Wondering whether the Bad Girl of Ballroom persona will come fully into fruition this season, or last series' illegal lift was a minor blip. This couple look like what the Bennetts would look like if you stretched them.

Peter and...ERIN!

Wow, it is actually the law that Erin nearly always gets a sprotsman! Feel she's drawn the short straw yet again, more Willie Thorne than Colin Jackson, is that Natalie I can hear cackling away in Tess' Area? (which is a lot bigger this year *snigger*)

Flashback! Flashback! Last time she had a goalie (called Peter) Erin (aka Evil Genius) achieved nothing more than subjecting the general public to a veery odd kind of shoulder shimmy. It was sort of a shimmy. Gone very, very wrong. It's possible we should expect similar things of this partnership. Natalie 1 Erin 0.

The New Boys

I was expecting Let's Hear It For the Boys by Sinitta, but I guess a fab swishy paso will have to do! Strangely I will always think of Letitia Dean and her skirt lifting antics. Loved Aliona's gravity-defying lifts with Jared. And of course this is the only show where you can have fringed hotpants and feathers, yet somehow look a bit classier than usual.

This is it! This is what we have been missing. New boys! Jared is the new Brian. Only he looks about 12 (someone tweeted me saying that was generous - perhaps - but I am a giving person...) The other two were on fire - most particularly the partnership between Robin and Kristina.

Michelle and...BRENDAN!

So happy Brendan has Michelle, he deserves someone good after Jo Wood! Expecting lots of fun, flashy choreogrpahy already. Loving Michelle already, she's playing the loveable Yank to perfection.

Did you see Brendan's face? Couldn't believe his damned good luck. She seems competitive though and it's a trait that doesn't go down too well on female celebs. But the cutesly cuddsly Yank performance may work on us, if it pans out. It's novel if nothing else. Ya'll love her. Maybe.

Pamela and...JAMES!

Hah! Really don't think he deserved this, but then again he did have the good-ish Zoe Lucker last year. Saying that, Pamela has personality and what the Americans amusingly call spunk, so she won't take any hassle from him!

Now I was watching this girl in the group dance...and maybe it was a fluke, but my, she could dance. I totally didn't say that if she turns out to suckbigtime. But her timing seemed spot on and she was enjoying herself immensly. (Gosh was Zoe Lucker only last year? It's all a big GabbyZoePennyLaila mash these days to me.) Thing is, though, she said she wanted someone with a sense of humour. And then got James.

Tina and...JARED!

Wouldn't she have been perfect for Darren Bennett? *sigh* Anyway, Jared is cute and fun so they could be the new Tiny Little Cute Couple.

The new Louisa and Vincent. Love them like cupcakes.

Paul and...OLA!

I weep for the poor woman, I really do. She's bigger than him! Although I don't feel they will be getting as far as lifts. Oh well, at least he was nice to her, she'd better have the patience of a saint.

The girls all lined up, like they were on death row. The camera panned across their faces. "Not me...not me...not me..." And Ola, bless her. She did a good show of being delighted. Of course, she'll possibly have the attitude, OK, so I won last year, fair game. Perhaps he'll make her costume disappear mid-dance. It's not like there'd be much to get rid of anyway. And it would be a nifty diversion from what almost certainly will be awful, awful dancing.

Patsy and...ROBIN!

Erm...don't really know what to make of this really. Saying that, I am wary of the length of her dress, looks like we have a shy one. We'll have her in Kylie hotpants by week 4.

Her biog on the BBC website reads like a Dave Pelzer book, though. She's got a family full of eccentrics and done things you'd never expected, yada doo da - but still looks a million dollars. Kudos.

Goldie and...KRISTINA!

This is one of my favourite pairings already! Please don't let him be a duffer, let Kristina dance with someone good! He should at least know about rhythm and timing and woohoo he's enthusiastic!

I want him to be good but - and I'm hoping my eyes were deceiving me - in the dance at the end, he did look a bit drunkle-at-a-wedding (in the style of Gary THE HORROR! THE HORROR! Rhodes). Another one, like Patsy, who's had a couple of good runs around the mill (where is this mill people talk about?) Might be expected to be found in a sepia picture on the cover of a book entitled something like Why don't you like me? or My tragic upbringing: Read and weep. (Does what it says on the tin.) But no, fab DJ career and now Strictly? That's the spirit!

Pro number

I watched the opening with my mouth wide open, I suspected Flavia and Vincent were robots but I didn't know they could fly! My word, they are working these pros hard already. Love the light up dresses, where can I get one for popping down to the shops in?

Paul Daniels performing a levitation trick on Wee Vincent and Flavia I see. This is the last time I shall be using the prefix 'Wee' to describe Vincent. It hardly seems fair when there's now a toddler on the show.

Kara and...ARTEM

Loved the way Tess mumbled his last name! They looked happy since it was obvious both of them didn't know who the other was.

Frankie, how come you object to women in dresses with two sleeves, yet you claim a dress with one is the 'best costume'? You are a complex creature. And to think, I actually deliberately counted the sleeves on the ladycelebs' dresses tonight for you. 5, if you're wondering.

Jimi and...FLAVIA

Woo, man with rhythm for Flavia! Get to it girl, we will forgive you if you want to use Jai Ho again!

Alarm bells! Alarm bells! Oh no, wait...it's J.I.M.I. not J.I.M.M.Y.; it's 2010, not 2007; and no one looks as though they're about to pop their cuban heels on the dancefloor (though let's try and speak to Ola after half an hour's training...) This guy can mooove. Without seeing any training footage or anything yet, these two are starting off as my favourites. Yes, Flavia will be kicking herself she wasted the Jai Ho! tango on Craig, but there's the whole soundtrack to Bombay Dreams to work through. What? Don't remember it? Fair point.

Gavin and...KATYA

And a nice man for Katya too. Is it me or do the male celebs seem to have a fair bit of potential this year? This is going to sound really silly, but I hadn't realised how Welsh Gavin Henson is!

Gavin is-he-a-bit-fick-or-a-bit-Welsh-or-both Henson looked completely bemused by the whole experience. Like he'd accidentally stumbled upon the set mistaking it for a beer. He thinks people know him for rugby, not for shaving his legs. No, honey, it is for shaving your legs. But roll with it, sunshine.

Showdancers

aka Dads' Army plus 4 wannabes.

Ok this is weird, Darren is not dancing with Lilia. Hold it together, do not cry, gather, gather...Thankfully the number is as camp as Christmas so we should get through all this. Is it just me or is Ballroom Blitz some sort of hybrid of the Time Warp and Walking on Sunshine? Dancing was obviously amazing, but really don't know what to make of it yet.

Yes, Darren without Lilia was...sad. The new boy reminds me of someone. Creepy. I think it's what Michael Buble would look like if he were in A Clockwork Orange.

Ann and...ANTON!

'This is a dancing competition, it is not a world war'...how little she knows! Well she had to have Anton, didn't she? She does at least have a sense of humour and isn't taking it too seriously, let the panto begin.

Obviously. And he has no right to moan about getting a good partner. And boy, I bet he knows it.

Felicity and...VINCENT!

Ah the Wee People, I didn't know she was so wee. Thankfully she is cloaked in sleeves as BBC regulations state no woman over 45 is allowed to bear her upper arms. She does at least look rather nice.

I love her. She's just beautiful. I'd love her to be elegant but, if I'm honest, I can see a little Cherie pie problem here. She may fuddle through the ballroom but the latin's going to be tricky. She's just too twee and British. Unfortunately, after a week or two, I imagine it will be (Rosemary and) Thyme to go. Ohhh, you love it really.

As with the choice of celebs, I think they've done really well with the pairings this year. Agreed. Nothing looks glaringly awful just yet. Anton hasn't danced yet, The group number didn't hold any surprises, Ann walking, Peter dad dancing, people staring at their feet. Nobody fell over. Shame.

Don't know about you, but I'm excited! MUCHOS!

Erin's Arch Nemesis

2010-09-11T16:33:00.001+01:00

In 2008, we exclusively revealed Erin Boag’s secret identity as an evil genius. Single-handedly, she took down Hazel Newberry, Izabella Hannah and Hayley Holt (who?) – all talented ballroom pros, but only managed one season each on Strictly. Armed with nifty gadgets and cunning plans (each more cunning than the last...) Erin has managed to secure her place in the eighth series. That is because she is the undisputed Queen of the Ballroom. Or is she? For last season emerged another feisty ballroom specialist who was not to be taken down easily. Ohhh no. Whilst Erin was playing the ‘I’m having fun with this odd chap with strange expression’ and personality-will-win-the-day-ness (delusion, much?) Natalie was flaunting a hottie. Not only that, but a hottie that could dance. (Quite possibly very little more than a robot really but for argument’s sake...)

Lowe is in another league altogether. She has the power of Newberry, Hannah and ~~Who~~ Holt combined. In 2009, Erin only just managed to fix the final so Lowe didn’t claim the glory That Should Have Been Hers™ (we believe the plan involved some hobbits and quite a lot of torture, though this assertion is purely conjecture on our part). It was a close shave. And Boag didn’t manage, this time, to stop Lowe returning for another series. Is Erin losing her touch? Or has she found an arch-nemesis?

For yes, for Lowe clearly likes to win; she has a look of steely determination (no, you can’t read her Paso face...) And yes, we can exclusively reveal, that like Erin, our old Antipodean friend, is a genius super-spy a la James Bond only evil and a woman. So not really like him but that’s as far as my spy references go.( No I’ve never seen a James Bond movie. DEAL WITH IT.) Where Erin is Machiavellian, Lowe is a bulldozer, she’s so old-school (some say, trained by Stalin himself) At Erin’s every attempt at thwarting her chances, Lowe and her partner could be heard rallying the cries of POWER THROUGH IT! POWER THROUGH IT! POWER THROUGH IT! (It could be heard clearly as far as Dunstable – and there were even reports of tremors as far north as Watford. ) And that they did. They powered through to the semis. When Erin managed to disguise herself as a photographer and hassle Whittle enough to lead to assault, she’d done enough to set public opinion against him and ruin any chance he had of claiming the glitterball. But it had taken too long this time – Lowe had already made an impression on The General Public™ - some even liked her. And that is where we stand now, my friends: Natalie Lowe, super genius, but more over, survivor. How the battle will play out this series, nobody knows. But Erin Boag is proving herself undefeatable, surviving a mass cull of latin pros as well as dealing with the battle with Lowe. Our money’s on her.

The Strictly Season Begins

2010-09-07T14:58:00.016+01:00

It's that time of year again, the Strictly Season is upon us! The line up has been revealed so it's time to pick your favourites and dust off those paddles...(or at least those score cards you get free in the programme at the live tour...)

Anne Widdecombe

So the old bird fimally caved then, who's ready for a week one rumba? I also feel the BBC may have made a blunder here with axing both Darren and Matthew, the nice-as-pie-grin-and-bear-it dancers who can be lovely to a duffer and not threaten to break their legs. I feel we shouldn't mock too much, apparently she is a proper fan of the show, but my disappointment at the lack of Lembit Opik will continue for a long time. She is no cheeky girl.

Do I need to start apologising for my earlier comment calling her...shh, I'll spell it out U.G.L.Y. (she ain't got no alibi) ? She's really kind of, yer know, famous and this is quite a rarity in the Strictlyverse of late. So oil painting or non, she's a catch as far as I'm concerned. Mwah.

Michelle Williams

From one end of the scale to the other! She's like from America and everything, the show will be as excited as when the GIs came over during the War and start asking her for nylons or something. She's obviously not going to be completely inept, but she'll have to make sure she's endearing or no one is going to warm to her. Speaking of warm, why didn't she go on DWTS and spend her winter in sunny LA rather than braving cold, frosty London?!

Also known as the-one-what's-not-Beyonce. Is she famous enough for DWTS? I agree with Frankie that perhaps she may find it tricky to win over us sceptical (aka cold-hearted, miserable, cynical) Brits. Having said that, I should imagine she's a decent dancer anyway so the judges won't let her go too soon. Give her to Anton, though, and she's already screwed.

Tina O'Brien

The first of our soap starlets, there's always got to be a few, but it has been quite a while since she left the show. No panto bookings this year then? Not sure what to make of this one, she could be D-U-double-L or cute and relateable.

Meh. Kinda. At least I didn't have to Google her.

Scott Malsen

Over on 'the other side' we have an current member of the Eastenders cast, wow, is Jack Branning going to have a mystery holiday or spell 'inside' in a few weeks? This is the mum's favourite to me this year; quite sexy but also a normal bloke. For all we know he could go far in a Darren Gough/Matt Dawson type way.

OK, OK, so I did have to Google him. And now I've forgotten again so I'm actually multitasking and ReGoogling right. at. this. precise. moment. (BRB) Ohhhh, he was/is in The Bill. Or was/is in Eastenders. Or both? Ach well, I means, we needs these types so I'm OK with it. Frankie's right, the mams will like him.

Kara Tointon

Didn't we have this as a massive rumour last year? Ah Strictly deja-vu, gotta love it. I feel she beats Tina in the soap hottie stakes, plus she has always been a bit perma-tanned so it seems meant to be.

Will the papers go la crazy on her due to PREVIOUS BALLROOM/LATIN EXPERIENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ? I think I'll let her off. One samba (was it a samba?) on Sports Relief does not constitute enough to warrant a riot (though, like The Kaiser Chiefs, I do predict one...) However, we do already kinda know she's kinda good. So she could be high on the bookies' list of faves. Meh.

Gavin Henson

And speaking of perma-tanned...we have an orange sportsman, this man was made for Strictly! He's 28, which is practially a sequinned spring chicken considering the drought of men under 30 in the last few series, so hopefully that will bring the teenage girls in. When I saw this I thought 'oooh a sportsman I've heard of!' but then realised it's just the Charolotte Church connection, we shall see where the loyalties of Wales lie. Oh it would have been so much fun if they'd both gone on....

Poor guy, yes, definitely more famous for his wife than his sport. But then, woo, we've heard of him and... he's ...wait-for-it NOT OLD ! Double whammy. I would love for him to embrace the whole sequinned and Swarovki-ed experience and he may well just do that. Famously, erm, vain...costumes a la Julian Clary would be a treat. Though a tad unlikely.

Peter Shilton

Used to play in goal for England apparently, I did vaguely remember the name from somewhere. I'm trying to think of a cheesy football-related joke Brucie-style, but I'll leave that to the old pro himself.

Who? Oh yeah, football. But does fall under the category from earlier seasons I do so so love: highlyrespectedinchosencareer, which is the ideal prerequisite for the partakence in Strictly. And I do so love a sportsman to do well. It's the only way I remember who they are.

Matt Baker

I know I'll be beaten with glittering sticks if I say it's Gethin Jones all over again, but it is the obvious comparison. With his gymnastics background I'm hoping he gets a teeny weeny little partner so they can do some crazy moves. With sticky back plastic.

Someone's been doing her research. Gymnastics? Nice one. I want to see the splits. And I ain't going home until he does 'em.

Felicity Kendall

Speaking of deja-vu, anyone else having Cheri Lunghi flashbacks? Might as well just put her with James Jordan and be done with it. And I will bet my prized silver sparkly shoes that she only wears dresses with long sleeves for the enitre time she is on the show. Be prepared for my 'sleeeeeeeves?!' ranting once more.

She's twee. I loooove her. And she's not Cheri Lunghi. She's better than Cheri Lunghi for the very reason that I didn't have to Google her. So ner. And she might have good upper arms, Frankie; she might have the upper arms of Jennifer Aniston...yoooou don't know.

Goldie

I thought this was a joke, I really did. But oh god I'm happy about it now! A totally random signing that could give us some real fun this series, do we think he knows what he is letting himself in for? The BBC love him since they discovered he could put on a suit and wave around to fancy music, maybe they think that will translate well here!

Could be a diamond in the rough, here. I mean, he's a DJ, recording artist what'avya, he's bound to have a little musicality, (pleeeease). If I were his dance partner though, I'd be scared of being blinded by his teeth. Erin may use them to transmit gamma rays. His actual name is Clifford.

Jimi Mistry

We have seen him dance in The Guru. Can Bollywood transform itself into Ballroom? He seems like a tall sort of man. I'm not sure who the tall girls are these days so who knows who he'll get...

He might have been in proper movies, like, but he's still the doctor out of 'Enders isn't he really? Wonder if he'll bring a little (East is) Eastern Promise to his performance (Ohh, I just couldn't help myself...)

Paul Daniels

And just when you thought it couldn't get weirder, but at least it's not Russell Grant! Did anyone even hear this as a rumour? Did the BBC just have him in the back of a cupboard somewhere? He is only 5'4 after all, maybe he was under a desk. Oh yeah and he's 72, that's 10 years older than Widdecombe! Ageism? Methinks you doth protest too much BBC!

72! And weird! Nice one. Kind of reminds me of Saturday night TV as a kid. All in all, I'm just thanking my lucky stars (perhaps Monsieur Grant had something to do with it?) that Debbie McGee is not involved.

Pamela Stephenson

Oh to be someone's wife, then you get to go on TV. I was rather surprised by this, but not in an 'oooh I'm excited' way, just in a 'huh?' way. I guess she can psycho-analyse all the contestants and maybe even suss out that Evil Genius Erin.

How IS Erin still on the show? I mean, Karen gone, Camilla gone, Lilia gone...yada yada yooo. You know, good on her an' all but it is in-ex-plic-able. But back to the point. Yes, does this mean that we get Billy Connolly in the audience? And if that is the case, does it mean he will dye his beard pink for the occasion?

Patsy Kensit

I don't know what happened, but her name wasn't in the press release I saw. But I saw a photo of her in a sparkly frock so she's either in it or gone totally insane!

Perhaps she was gate-crashing. Perhaps she just likes turning up places in fancy frocks. Perhaps she sneaks pictures of herself into random stacks of photos. Um, I-thinks-probably the most likely explanation is that she's our number 14. Well, she's just on the right side of celeb.

--- ---- ---- ---

This is a good. line. up, people. Every single one of these people is, as I mentioned earlier, highlyrespectedinchosencareer (going all Germanic with me compounds today...) We have no squillions of Hollyoaks actors or owt like that. This is a classy set of people, if not individually, then certainly as a group. This is back to the old days when the celebs actually were more famous than the pros. When we didn't really know who Karen Hardy was, what Brendan likes for breakfast and the name of Darren's auntie's pet giraffe. Perhaps this is just what we need.

Tu vuò fà l'americano ?

2010-08-11T13:38:00.002+01:00

Have any of you watched Dancing with the Stars? Yep, it’s a decent substitute when we’re out of The Strictly Season™ but it’s no real thing. I’ve always thought it was a little flash, a little brazen, a little, well, American. The focus is on gimmicks and showbiz and gossip (oh my!) – hot, young dancers replaced by hot, young dancers year on year. And that’s great for the USA if that’s what tickles its fancy. But we’re not American. And we’re different. Strictly Come Dancing started out as good, clean fun (kinda like a bubble bath). Yes, it’s fabulous and showy – I can’t argue with that – but it’s not always been about the show (dahhling), it’s also been about the story. Everyone has their favourite pro and part of the delight of learning of the new celebs each year is finding out who’s dancing with whom. In the UK, we love, yes, a journey – the underdog takes the glitterball, yada yada - we’re leeches for it. And we become fond of people. The pros and judges are not just background decoration to us, they're not the baubles, they're the branches – an integral point of the show. They’re the ones who are there year on year – if anything, it’s the celebrity contestants who are baubly, flash-in-the-pan (though perhaps an expensive pan – Tefal or summat?) Is our lovely show going the way of the U S of A?

So it seems. Rally the cries! We’ll blame that little thing called media. Think how much coverage SCD got when rumours of Flavia and Matt’s relationship began to surface? And where is Flavia this year? Still on the show. Who didn’t discuss that catsuit? And where is Ola this year? Still on the show. Happily married Darren and Lilia’s collection of trophies is hardly front page news-of-the-world is it? Neither are Karen’s world class latin dance credentials. So where are all of them these days? Ditched. Good and proper, like. An’ all coz they ain’t gonna run off with their celebs, perhaps? We wonder if Brian’s been ditched as he’s ‘shacked up with that-bird-from-Hollyoaks’ (tabloid speak) – eeee, ‘e’s no use to ‘em now, is ‘e? (Lancashire speak).

So to sex up the show they ditched the older female pros and the older female judge. Nicole BOOM, Karen BOOM, Arlene POW. The publicity generated from this was immense – negative, of course, but that’s positive really... right? Flurries of feminists screamed “Ageism! Sexism!” So, this year, it might have been expected that there weren’t to be any cuts but..oh, woah, no no no! They cut the guys too. No sexist now at least. Only one ism to defend. But who are the models gonna dance with now Ian’s been relegated to the DA™? Ian’s darling relationships with his celebs year on year are a delight to behold. But if Jared Murillo wants to get jiggy (in a non Scottish Reel kinda way) with some chick-we-never-heard-of-off-the-telly, well that’s worth more. Isn’t it? And always, always, trying to compete with Mr High Pants on ITV. Alesha Dixon is never going to be in the same league as Cheryl Cole. So take the high ground and stop playing the game by their rules.

But who is to blame for all of this, really? Unfortunately, it’s us (no, no, not just me an’ Frankie – all of us!) We fans all discussed, blogged, tweeted, read the papers about the scandals as much as we did the dancing. The problem is that the rest of the population just discussed the scandals. And they’re the ones with the power. There’s more of them. Clare-from-work has been saying for years that Strictly isn’t the show it used to be. She’s certainly right. But would it be right to go backwards, back to series one, would it not seem...stale? Tu vuò fà l'americano? Maybe we just don’t want to admit that we do.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t want Lilia back. And Brian. And Karen...and...and...and...

And...we're back!

2010-07-30T14:35:00.019+01:00

Here we are again then. How you been doing, missed us? It's back to the joy of writing sentences over 140 characters and rambling off on massive tangents as the SCD universe opens for business once again. Dust off those sparkly shoes and let's get down to dissecting some rumoured contestants.

Well starting off with one of the more common rumours, we have the celeb couple Gary and Danielle Lineker. We can only hope they are more likable than Gabby 'I will annihilate you, if only I could dance' Logan. I also wonder if they will get partnered with the Jordans again, since the BBC certainly loves a gimmick. As someone on Twitter with infinitely more football knowledge than me pointed out, Gary played in some sort of tricky position that may have required good hip action. Danielle on the other hand looks good in a frock.

Ah, my life without the purple text has been dull. Frankie says I must write, so here be it etc etc. I am a little scared of her (but please don't tell her that). So, Gary Lineker (and wife) – Now Gary, I get. Ex-footballer, a fair choice, despite his renown for nothing more useful of late than crisp-stealing. Wife? No. Who is she? First Googled 'Celeb' of the year. So who is Gary Lineker’s wife? Oh, she’s Gary Lineker’s wife. DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

Now turning, quite hesitantly, we look to Ann Widdecombe. The most talked about possible signing of this year...if only because we keep looking at each other and going "Ann Widdecombe?!". The woman has been asked for years and years but was suffering the curse of having a proper job- until now! Am I the only one who thinks she will just be terrible, not because of age or ability but simply because she won't let anyone tell her what to do? She keeps on denying it with a wry smile, but since there has just been so much talk about it I don't think we can breathe a sign of relief just yet.

Anne Widdecombe. OK, OK, you’re all thinking it, so I’m just gonna come out and say it. Ugliest contestant ever? I’m not saying she’d crack the mirrorball but...well, yeah, I’m saying she'd crack the mirrorball. Ohhhhhhhhh, so shoot me. Of course, she would have been the obvious choice to lump with Darren Bennett, but since he’s be relegated to the DA (Dads’ Army) some young whippersnapper (it sounds like the sort of word she’d use...) is going to dislocate a shoulder lugging her through a waltz. Has anyone done a risk assessment?

Another person who has been asked multiple times and is without a proper job this year is the eternal Richard Madeley. Please come on the show Richard, so I can laugh at you (not with, never with). Also there was the rumour of his car-crashing daughter Chloe doing it too, so many puns, so little time...

I would only like this if he dressed as Ali G. For the whole series.

Staying with the *ahem* older lady, we get to the much more glam end of the scale, with the delightful Felicity Kendal. In fact, I'm sure I read somewhere she is actually a year older than Ms Widdecombe (she is very much a 'Ms'). I imagine I read it in the Telegraph or Mail, since that's the kind of thing they love. More importantly, does anyone else think this will be a total re-run of Cherie Lunghi? I see grace, I see style, I see crap latin with a moving rumba followed by a graceful exit halfway through the series. You heard it here first...about two years ago.

Felicity Kendal – Nice choice, if a tad twee. But what is Strictly without twee? I like the word twee. Of course, dished out to Brendan or James to bring out their lover-ly sides...or lumped with Anton. He proved last year he’s not worthy of likely winner. Still seething. Grr argh.

Then we have our traditional soap luvlies (spelling does not survive soapland), this time around we have Tina O'Brien of Corrie and and the everlasting panto career and the much hotter and still working Jennifer Metcalfe of Hollyoaks. Any ideas which would I would prefer? But what is this, there is no Eastenders star?! We can't do this without having a BBC soap star. I seem to remember a Charlie Clements rumour a long time ago, I would love another ginger wonder on the show even if it would mess up my Winning Formula.

Tina O’Brien – Oooh an ex-soapie. I’m bibbling to my very brim with excitement. I can’t sleep for the spectacularly spiffimungous anticipation. Wibble wibble wibble. My A-Level English teacher said sarcasm doesn’t always come across too well in written form. It does now. And Jennifer Metcalf – Who is this person? Well, for starters she has the honour of being the second Googled Strictly 'celeb' of the year. I don’t watch Hollyoaks. So I don’t give a chargrilled artichoke.

Oh and there is also Patsy Kensit, who I guess is a soap luvlie, but more famous for hanging out with rock stars. She could be the next Jo Wood...only good. Speaking of her, it looks like Gavin Henson might be the 'spurned celeb spouse' for this year. At least he's got the hang of fake tan.

I don't object to this one. Even if she's not credible, at least I know who she is. Which means she must be vaguely famous. Which she is. Bring her on.

Ah, but if we really want the gimmick of gimmicky gimmicks then lo and behold the one-day-rumour that was Mrs Bruce, Winelia Forsyth of Puerto Rico. I loved this, I so want it to be true it is so mad. OK we might not be able to hear her dance over the sound of the barrel being scraped, but the woman has style and quite frankly the patience of a saint after being married to Brucie for so long! Why not just get Vernon Kaye on as well and make a theme of it?!

Yes, in the immortal words of ones of the greatest works of cinematic history ever (Gypsy, of course, doh) ... yer gotta get a gimmick. Only you don't. You really, really don't. Gimmicks are the death knell of TV shows. Usually. If Brucie's wifey's on the show, this will be the last series. And Vernon? Just no.

So there we are, the highlights of the rumours that have flown around the blogsphere and twitterati this year. What with promises of higher-paid, bigger stars I'm not too sure what to make of it. There seem to be some fun names in there, but not exactly a-list. Saying that, does it really matter? Every year we fall in love with some sportsperson we've never heard of or someone who starts out terrible and wins our hearts, so let's not be too harsh on our latest batch of celebs....until the dancing starts....

Can I be harsh? It's fun.

PS - Frank Bruno? What's that all about? Did we not learn from our boxers last year? The BBC needs to give up on the Billy Elliot/Rocky fanstasy!

Showdances...the final countdown!

2009-12-16T14:54:00.016Z

The anticipation is killing us as we wait for the SCD final this Saturday, but for me the moment we will be waiting for all night is when it's showdance time. I love the sense of the unpredictable, what will they have come up with to try and knock our spangled socks off? So, if any of the contestants are reading this (pfft, yeah right!), here is the definitive guide to snatching that glitterball trophy in the last moments...

Whilst revisiting my Winning Formula post I realised there are four key points to a winning showdance:

1 - Play to your partner's strengths

2 - Choose a good song

3 - Get a good outfit

4 - Don't use puppets

I think every couple that have won have touched on all the points, from Brendan's very clever Dirty Dancing number in Series 1 to Camila giving us the Broadway showstopper last year.

Playing to your partner's strengths is key, as Camila saw that Tom loved a bit of showmanship and Matthew played on Alesha's inner diva to great effect. Karen knew that that salsa was the best dance for Ramps, so she gave him a salsa with some amazing crowd-pleasing lifts.

With songs, don't try and be clever, just get something well-known, camp and spangly. It's what the audience wants and will feel distinctly underwhelmed without. Also if you can somehow connect it to dancing, such as Dirty Dancing, Fame, Flashdance or I Wanna Dance With Somebody - this is Strictly, our cheese tolerance is rather high!

Turning to outfits, for god's sake this is your last chance to spangle so spangle as if your life depends on it! OK so spangles couldn't even save Christopher Parker but Hanna really got into the whole thing. Karen and Lilia have also provided the extra spangle we all require and Lisa Snowdown went for the glittery swimming costume. However, one showdance outfit that disappointed me was Matt DiAngelo's; I understand men don't want to sparkle too much but he appeared to be wearing a Primark vest with a bit of glitter!

As an aside, has anyone else noticed that the showdances we get in the final bear no resemblance to the ones the world champions always come on and do? Maybe because it's more like gymnastics rather than dancing and is kinda boring for the audience. Brendan and Lisa had a fairly good stab at it but they wouldn't have stood a chance against Tom and Camila.

Also, a showdance does not have to win to still be great. Take the Cinderella of the showdance Mr Ian Waite...He's come third and second but did two really underrated showdances! With Zoe he picked a genius West Side Story theme and got so excited he fell over! Turning to Denise, he chose a great song and she even managed to overcome wearing a very unfortunate hat to give a memorable performance.

However, there are the odd showdances that were a little...dare I say it?....dull. I am looking at Rachel and Vincent and Matt and Lilia here. Although in Lilia's case Matt wasn't so good at latin and if that's the case you're kinda stumped with a showdance. I often ponder how Anton would tackle it, probably not with puppets...he's not as stupid as he looks....

And speaking of puppets, we draw this to an end with the classic moment brought to us by the one and only Miss Whiplash. Let us go back and remember that build up, the excitement, Zoe and Ian had just brought the house down, we wait to see what fantabulous display Colin and Erin will give us...and then they come out with PUPPETS! I distinctly remember watching this at home and thinking "is this as toe-curlingly awful as I think it is?" and then when they went over to the stony-faced judges and we had a full-on tumbleweed moment and I burst out laughing! Ah, thanks for the memories you guys!

So here we are at the end of Series Sev-ern and what will the showdances bring us? My thought is Ola will go for the musicality and fun and frolicks style showdance whereas Natalie will probably go for fancy footwork and gymnastics. But as we know, it's all to play for...

Argy Bargy

2009-12-12T18:48:00.006Z

Here we are at the semi-finals, it's almost over - but before that there is the most daunting of hurdles, the Argentine Tango. It also means I cannot think of a more creative title for this blog post! There's hardly anyone on the show now, look at that empty photo at the top of the blog, that used to be crammed with people!

Chris and Ola - Rumba

I was very, very worried about the choice of a rumba (Erin Boag lurking near the puppets worried) but after the first five seconds of the intro that melted away pretty quickly. Beautiful story-telling by Ola with the choreography. Gotta love Len, entertainment, hard work and determination all the way. Alesha's choice of the word sincerity was very apt too. As they all said, not the most technically amazing but so very endearing.

Ali and Brian - Argentine Tango

Loving Ali's frock and Amy Winehouse hair. Not too sure about her snarling face all the way through though, there's passionate aggression and then there's gritting your teeth. Not quite as staccato as I would have liked but there was some very difficult footwork going on. Anyone who does the AT has to try and match up to Karen and Ramps for me, which is a tall order.

Ricky and Natalie - Waltz

Ricky and Natalie actually look like they're getting married and then song choice didn't help with that either! This was never going to be anything other than a beautiful waltz, although it seemed a bit too fast for me at times. Really liked the ski-splits move from Natalie. Knew the judges were going to rave about it although it was a bit harsh not to let Len comment on it considering he's the ballroom expert! A little voice in the back of my head said "50?" but thankfully that madness has not been unleashed just yet.

Chris and Ola - Argentine Tango

Here we go with the over-extended VTs...half an hour later we get see them come out- Ola looks fabulous. Thought the choreography in this was a-mazing, there were two parts where I gasped at the the surprise twists. Unlike the judges I didn't spend the whole time looking at his face, which I actually thought wasn't too bad. Good to see Len is on the side of Team Cola!

Brian and Ali - American Smooth

Oooh some sort of mollusc seems to have attached itself to Ali's head, is that her coming out of her shell? *boom boom!* Loved her getting her sass on at the beginning and she actually did very well outside of hold. The whole thing was really polished and fabulous, good work Mr Fortuna. Plus the kiss was absolutely darling! Once Craig got his 10 out I just knew it, the highest score ever is upon us!

Ricky and Natalie - Argentine Tango

No two ways about it, this was bloody good. The footwork was stunning and the whole thing was the proper package. Not too sure about Len's justice comment, thought that might be asking for a sticky moment later on. Loved Alesha and Bruno giving it to Craig too, what a comedy pair they've been all series!

Darcey and Ian

I just can't warm to Darcey, I have no idea why she is on the show and what she is trying to bring to it. She seems like a lovely woman, but this dance seemed equally pointless. Glad to see Ian enjoyed it though! And it really wasn't a jive, get Jill back!

During the break between shows we had a rather dramatic moment involving lots of phonecalls from Radio 5. It was all very exciting and made us feel like proper celebs. Feel free to listen again online!

Results show

Beautiful foxtrot from Ian and Natalie, that really calmed us all down amongst the chaos of all this. Also, Ian makes Natalie look surprisingly small!

And here come the crazy showdancers Craig and Natalie, will Natalie's feet actually touch the floor for more than three seconds? I guess not. To me this just isn't dancing in the way that we have it on the show, it's gymnastics. Plus it's very rare anyone ever tries to a showdance that bears any sort of resemblance to this on the show!

Omg, what is this about the Lindyhop in the final?! Did I miss something? And surely that is totally biased towards Chris? Thank God for the cast of Hairspray, when Phil Jupitus in a pink frock seems sane you know you've had a crazy night! Darren and Lilia looked like they were having the time of their lives and it was hilarious to see Vincent in full on jazz-hands mode. The random appearance of Austin also made it all the more surreal.

Next up in our random evening of delights we have Lilly Allen, singing a song that to me is much too rude for the BBC! But she looks great and glad to see her jigging about a bit. And along come Aliona and Matthew, with Matthew looking more and more like he's escaped from Miami Vice.

Dance off

There was tension. Especially as I was watching this whilst I was talking to John Pienaar live on Radio 5 at the time with the sound off (I resisted trying to start a conversation about Lord Mandelson and his love of the show). The look of shock on Ricky's face as he went through was touching, but not as much as watching Ali's face crumple at the end. It was like kicking a puppy!The true joy for me was Chris' impy little face beaming with pride at the end.

Well that's it. The final is upon us, with showdances and tears and glitter and tens and everything.

Rant about Ant (on)

2009-12-08T17:11:00.015Z

Oh dear bejesus, what has happened to the du Beke? He's always been the charmer, non? The gentleman, non? The quintessentially English, slightly eccentric dapper-type chappie, non? Oui, to a point - but this series he seems to have got a little bit too big for those suede-soled cuban heels of his. Now, I hate to say I told you so (note: I love to say I told you so) but I did mention a problem with Anton on the blog last year. It was in response to the rallied cries of 'Anton should get a good partner next year!' and similar. I did point out (I did, I did, I did!) that it would be pointless, nay futile (might not have been the exact words but it's kind of the gist...) for Anton to have a good partner because, to be frank, he's not that good himself. Yes, I know he's known as the 'King of Ballroom' but in the grand scheme of things, he's not even that; as far as I'm aware, he never won any major international titles (correct me if I'm wrong) and his latin, well, it's worse than most of the celebrities' attempts. Case in point - Satuday's salsa. Quite possibly the worst salsa I've ever seen. And I have seen a lot of bad salsas, believe me. It's not even because Laila forgot her steps; I don't even care about that. If she had had a decent partner who could dance latin and teach latin and support her through a routine, like the delightful Brian does for Ali, Laila could have made the final. But his attitude rubbed off on her. From the 'Oh-I-Don't-Like-Latin' at the beginning, to the ridiculous attempts at rectifying the situation towards the end. I truly believe that she was made to feel that the latin side of things isn't important and is somehow inferior; and although they delighted us with some nice ballroom, that's exactly what it was: 'nice' - nothing a-maz-ing. Nothing I think I'll remember. He also, at one point, after being criticised for his choreography, said that Laila could have done nothing more so he didn't understand the low mark - didn't even register in his head that it was his fault, not hers. So after much discussion about this at work today in the staffroom, Clare-from-Work and I have come to the conclusion that Anton du Beke is not a good teacher. So next year, stick him back with the old dear. It suits him.

The du Beke salsa of doom....

2009-12-06T17:31:00.006Z

It's quarter finals time, there's four people- how appropriate! There's so few contestants to come down the stairs this week that they've had to throw a pro dance in at the start, well done Mr Ian Waite for saving the show...

Ali and Brian - Tango

The use of terribly inappropriate music has got to be the thing that has upset me the most this series, and considering the amount of upsets we've had that is quite a big deal! It's not that I want totally traditional music (Black to Black was a great choice) but I simply cannot imagine sexual tension in a dance that reminds me of my dad playing the guitar! Whilst squinting through the music, I could recognise that this was pretty good and the staccato was nice and sharp. Ali's 'omg, i'm about to fall over' face halfway through was amusing too. Darcey is already freaking me out.

FFS, this is Strictly not Guitar Hero. What is with the misguided rockcheese for tangos this year? Me no likey. Like Frankie, I'm not an uber-traditionalist - I thought Darren's choice of Maneater was inspired - but this series has not. been. good. All in all, this was a good dance. Not marvellous but certainly one of the few that's just about worthy of a quarter final.

Laila and Anton - American Smooth

Great frock, looks like something I would buy in Karen Millen in a fit of 'I'll need this when I'm on Strictly' delusion. I was looking forward to an American Smooth from Anton too and he did make a great song choice and chose some sensible lifts. However, Laila looked a bit....confused? Craig did really lay into her, but I do agree it was a tad disappointing for the quarter finals. And how would Darcey know if this was supposed to be 'Laila's dance' when she's never been there before?

Pffft, I thought this was actually quite delightful. I think I was just watching the lovely dress (oh it was lovely) - the whole thing oozed class. Well, I thought it did until I realised you couldn't only drive a bus, but mayhaps The Titanic between Laila and Anton. Those following me on Twitter at the time will have been subjected to the following tweet: GAPPING! GAPPING! GAPPING! For that, I can only apologise. Sorry for blasting your virtual ears off.

Chris and Ola - Waltz

Here comes Team Cola, with Ola in a very nice princess dress there- I wish Craig could have got the chance to rave about the stoning on ITT. Very beautiful song choice and classy choreography. Now what can we do about Chris' constipated face? Someone send him some prunes!

Face Schmace. He's so much better to watch than all the others put together. He works hard and he improves. As good as Ricky is and as lovely a dancer Ali appears, there hasn't been much improvement for a while. And that makes for boring.

Ricky and Natalie - Foxtrot

Anyone else think that dress was originally intended for Kristina? Frontless, backless, metallic- all her style. I have also been told I need to put in my pun about Natalie's golden globes, so there we are. Great foxtrot, very classy and held my attention throughout. Whatever drama we're going through this week (it was man-flu this time, swine flu next week?) this boy can sure do his ballroom. I could smell tens, my Strictly-sense was tingling.

Meh.

As we go into the latin, is anyone else rather amused by the lengthy intros by the judges? You'd think they were on Newsnight discussing the Copenhagen summit or something!

What? Frankie, get a life... ;-)

Ali and Brian - Samba

Forget best salsa dance of the series, best salsa dress of the series! That is what I like to see, you've gotta have a tailfeather or it's a wasted opportunity. D-U-double-L song choice though, although I simply cannot udnerstand what anyone sees in Daniel Merriweather anyway. Nice choreography for sure, good bit of shimmying too. A nine from Craig was unexpected!

Lovely feathery bumbustle. Boring song. OK samba. Wasn't baaaad; didn't blow me away. A party song a la I Go To Rio, Aquerela do Brasil, something corny and summery - that could have made all la difference.

Laila and Anton - Salsa

So here we are, the day we have been dreading for weeks. The du Beke rug is barely enlcosed in that pink satin shirt, here we go! Well the first ten seconds or so were good, once you got over the fact Laila was wearing a dress styled by Barbra Cartland. But then of course, it all unravelled and they looked like some people in a dodgy surburban wine bar on a Tuesday night. I was watching the armwork from behind a cushion.

Oh-Sweet-Jesus-Mary-Joseph-Seven-Sheep-A-Parcel-Of-Myrrh-And-A-Camel, this was a joooooke of a salsa. I actually liked her dress though. Do I have bad taste?

Chris and Ola - Samba

If someone from Strictly Come Dancing ever had a double life as a superhero they would be wearing Ola's outfit - Saaaamba Woomaaaan! Chris' face was actually hilarious this time and I just love Ola's big beaming smile as well. When I watch little Chris talking about football at 6am on Monday morning I am going to smile to myself at the memory of him shakin his thang in a open turquoise shirt and flinging Ola around by her ankle. I really hope that woman he gyrated at in the audience was his girlfriend!

Where there's fun, there's Always (Coca-) Cola. Sorry - couldn't resist. I enjoyed this more than every other dance on the night. No, technically not the best, but it had the most spirit. Whether that spirit was too-many-vodkas-at-yer-auntie's-wedding is not for me to say, but it's better than nothing, non?

Ricky and Natalie

Wasn't too sure what to make of this one and was a bit distracted by Natalie flashing her knickers at us. I think what I didn't like was that they were trying to be cool, whereas to me a cha cha needs to be as camp as Christmas.

Like the song, though not necessarily for a cha cha cha. I was distinctly unmoved. He is so smug. He's smugger than the smuggler of Smugton, Andrew Castle. You may no longer be a pigeon, Ricky, but keep on like that and you'll turn into a crow.

Results show

Wasn't too sure about the shows being split again, but who cares when we've got a jaw-dropping Argentine Tango from Flavia and Vincent to keep us going, treat of the series as ever. I am suspicious they have bionic feet they move so fast, or maybe it's done with magnets. The group American Smooth was also very much appreciated.

Top marks for pro dances this eve.

Good to see a bit of Bette, really glad we didn't see any more of Bruce! She is fabulous though, none of the other guest stars would stay and have a chat and do a bit of a turn like that. What a pro.

Dance off

Ricky Whittle in the bottom two again shocker, I'm having Emma Bunton flashbacks here. I think we all agree it was just Laila's time to go, just like with Natalie last week. It does play out like that in the final couple of weeks. Thankfully she did dance a lot better in the dance off so she didn't humiliate herself. And that, as they say, is that. Roll on next week!

Now how to engineer a Chris and Ali final? The judges won't let Ricky go, will they? Not unless we execute a cunning plan to foil his attempt....Wait! Natalie's a ballroom pro, isn't she?? (have you read our blog before, sorry if you haven't, it's a running joke...) Erin will surely be on the case! Go Superspy Boag! This year, we salute you...

Having a bit of flapper...

2009-11-29T01:12:00.004Z

Well as only five couple came down the stairs I felt a bit sad, there hardly seems to be anyone left! Speaking of missing people, we have no Clover this week; she's so traumatised about not being able to dance she cannot bring herself to even write about it.

Chris and Ola
The training footage had us in stitches all week and this was my most-awaited dance of the series so far. Thank god it didn’t disappoint, it was an absolute treat! Both parts of Team Cola looked like they were having the time of their lives. Cracking start to the show and endearing us two this pair even more.

Ricky and Natalie
Alas, not dancing to Jailhouse Rock...Not sure what the Fonz actually has to do with dancing, he is plugging that panto for all it’s worth! The lift work in this was pretty amazing (and Natalie is pretty brave!), but I think without that the dance would have been a bit of a letdown. To paraphrase both Craig and the Black Eyed Peas, I’d have liked a bit more boom-boom-pow. Don’t think they deserved their lowest score though.

Ali and Brian
Once again, these two look totally amazing. They got the period down exactly right, totally adoring Brian’s gloves. I wasn’t expecting too much from this dance after this week’s drama, meaning it was such a pleasant surprise! Fabulous choreography from Mr Fortuna yet again! Plus I was really pleased to see Ali doing some great work on her own and also that she threw herself into those lifts. I can smell a 10...oooh there we are!

Natalie and Vincent
Or is that Vincent and Bettie Boop? Oh and the joy of watching Vincent try and do gymnastics again, I’m having so much fun this week! But maybe not as much fun as Natalie; I was really impressed at how fast the routine was actually. I did agree with Alesha that it was a bit clumsy at times, but I don’t think the judges needed to have such a downer on it!

Laila and Anton
What cute outfits, big points to the costume people this week. I remember Laila being good in this dance but I was actually captivated by Anton, he was on fire! It reminded me of the hilarious comedy quickstep he did with Flavia and Vincent. After all this I hope we get these two dances back next year, it’s been such a laugh.

Group Viennese Waltz
I was prepared for a five couple pile-up. We all remember the early group Viennese Waltzes, but if Christopher Parker could do it without causing death and destruction then it can’t have been that hard, this is a whole different thing. At one point it seemed like to be the battle of the fleckerls, how many did Ali and Brian do?! Thought Natalie and Vincent looked like they were struggling, Vincent seemed like he was grimacing more than smiling.

Thought the pro foxtrot was fabulous and very creative. They’re really pulling out all the stops with them this year, hurrah for the extended Saturday show! Also liking a bit of Muse too, you’d think they’d get used more on the show as they’re so theatrical. But no one warned me about Riverdance, I properly hate Riverdance!

Dance off
The only two doing rock and roll end up in the bottom two? Probably evidence the Charleston just rocks! I wasn’t very surprised to see Ricky in the bottom two, but also not surprised that he stayed. Bye bye Natalie, it was great fun and I hope you've bought lots of tissues for poor Vincent!

When frocks attack

2009-11-21T21:00:00.012Z

Well I never thought I'd be so happy to see Bruce, but after the disaster that was last week I think he must be the show's lucky charm. Long may he reign! However, he wasn't lucky enough to save poor Jade for us. I'm actually gutted about her having to leave and really upset for Ian too, they could have got to the final. Looks like we've got a two person final once more, unless there are any more voting-no-one-at-the-BBC-can-count disasters...

Ali and Brian
Well thankfully we have Team Awesome to cheer us up! That's what I like to see in a foxtrot, bit of Hollywood glitz and musicality from our favourite shiny happy people. They are as cute as a kitten dancing in a top hat next to a baby seal eating candyfloss.

One of the better dresses - and dances - of the evening. Unfortunately, as you may have gathered in the past, I despise foxtrot so that kinda puts a shadow over the whole performance. Not sure why Frankie's going on about baby seals. I think Norway's gone to her head.

Natalie and Vincent

Natalie looks fabulously funky tonight and just look at Vincent's teeny tiny little waist! However, I thought the routine was a bit simple, especially since we're used to Vincent wowing us with fancy choreography. I love the judges' obsession with bounce action, has anyone been praised for their bounce action since Zoe Ball about 5 years ago?! Oooh a harsh 5 from Bruno!
Oh, I was willing this to be good. But all the will in the world (Will & Grace, Good Will Hunting, The Wind in the Will-ows) was not enough. It wasn't great. Love them though. SO glad they got through - but no point pretending it was marvellous, eh?

Chris and Ola
It takes a lot for a VW to hold my attention but Team Cola managed it! What a beautiful routine Ola-chops put together for them and Chris looked like he was totally in the zone. Loved the pivots, I love pivots anyway but these were especially pivot-y.
I really liked this and you know what, they got my first vote of the series. So kudos Team Cola, not that you'll ever read this but yer know. I'm a discerning Strictly fan and it's a great privilege to have a vote - so think yerselves lucky and a big pat (postman?) on the back to both of you.

Ricky and Natalie

Really wasn't too sure about this at the start, but I think I was won over by the end. Thought it would be a love or hate thing for Len, and I agreed with him that the lift was gratuitously huge interruption when it had all flowed so gracefully from the start. I still think Alesha is a bit trigger-happy with that 10.

I knew it, I just knew it! Len went all Kenny Logan on the American Smooth lifts. I kinda agreed with him. A nice subtle twirlygig at the end would have been far more appropriate. Delightful routine, despite incongruous lift. Natalie is proving she has staying power both as a dancer and a choreographer. She's the star. Ricky who?

Laila and Anton

Another timeless bit of ballroom from Anton, I suddenly started to feel a bit Christmassy for some reason! Maybe her dress made her look like a fairy on top of a tree, but then what does that make Anton? Certainly not her best dance, but it made her staying in worthwhile. A 6 from Craig wasn't justified at all.

It was OK. Yeah, I know she has a bad ankle. I have a bad foot. I still went to salsa class (in trainers, mind you, at least Laila wore her proper shoes!) I just think if Laila and Anton were going to wow us with any dance, it would have been the waltz. And now that's been and gone and I'm distinctly unwowed. I dread to think what their Rock and Roll or Charleston will be like next week. I predict nightmares this week.

Ricky and Erin

My god, just what is exactly is Erin WEARING?! Worst outfit of the series by far, it possibly goes down with the worst dresses ever, along with Lilia's series four samba turban *shudder*. And why is Ricky dressed as the rubbish hypnotist from Little Britain? And whilst I'm in full rant mode, is there some rule against proper tango music this year? The whole thing was just odd, odd, odd.

Firstly, why was Erin dressed as the character off the front of the yellow Monster Munch packet? Yes. I think it was the. worst. dress. ever. And no one's more delighted than me that that accolade goes to our own Queen of Mean (we love her really) Erin Boag. Great to see the return of Miss Whiplash before the end of the series. (sidenote: we've not mentioned Lilia's turban for over a year, Frankie, we're slacking...) Oh, and Ricky? It kinda sucked.

--------------------------------------------

Gosh, Darren and Lilia swinging to the Noisettes? What a completely delicious treat, that's just made my Saturday. And I'm sure Clover used to have a pair of shoes like Lilia's. More please! So the big new dances are the rock n roll and the Charleston? Well I'm rather pleased with both of them, but maybe they could have come up with two that were a bit more distinctly different? Both are quite fast and zany, but then again, that's a definite crowd-pleaser!
Yes, had similar shoes and yes yes yes! I want that dress! Cute little number from the little Darren and Lilia (woeful lack of Lilia, I tells ya...) And NEW DANCES! So exciting. I was, like, soooo dreading the new dances being bolero (snooze) and mambo (salsa) so these two were a nice little surprise. I hope it doesn't mean the Argentine Tango has been dropped though. That would be a travesty. I don't think they would...would they?

The group rumba was mesmorising, one of the best group numbers of the series. Can we have more of these dramatic rumbas rather than them being all soppy? And good old Dame Shirley was as overblown as only Shirley can be.
There's nothing, NOTHING, like a daaaaaame! Nothing in the woooorld! Apologies to all our tweeties who've endured that since I read Dame Shirley Bassey would be performing. Does anyone know why Rob Brydon was playing the piano? Or was it Anton? Or is there another one of them?

Dance off

Well here we are, at least Ricky gets another stab at the tango and will hopefully kill off the monster that is Erin's dress at the same time. I get the feeling Laila and Anton just weren't interesting enough this week. At least Ricky managed to get through the routine properly so he didn't totally embarrass himself and was a very good sport about it all.

Right two couples in dance off; right couple kept in. All in all, a very conservative show - and that's just what everyone needed after last week's drama.

Curses

2009-11-16T11:15:00.003Z

They say bad things happen in threes.

After the delicious spectacle that was Blackpool, we the people were expecting this week's Strictly to be a little, well, unwhelming. What we weren't expecting was a string of unfortunate events that would lead to it being perhaps the worst - and definitely the strangest - episode of Strictly Come Dancing, like, ever. Without Bruce, it seemed empty, despite Tess' glorious efforts and the spankinglyfabulous Claudia (we love) stepping into Tess' area (oo-er?) What Ronnie Corbett was doing there is waaay beyond me. Have no blinking idea. And standing next to Tess he looked like a Weeble (You know? They wobble but they don't fall down?) All in all, it was held together loosely but, like Lilia Kopylova's Series Three Samba Costume, it felt like the whole show could fall to pieces before our very eyes. Curse one.

And not only did we find out that Bruce has gone AWOL (swine flu?), but also that Jade had injured her knee to Charton Heston Epic Proportions. No, she's not concerned about being able to finish the series; she's concerned for her career. I wanted to cry. And I'm not even joking. Also, I was particularly looking forward to that tango too - it was going to be a defining series moment. Could feel it in me booones. Curse two.

After a mediocre American Smooth by Phil and Katya, a mediocre jive by Ricky and Natalie, a mediocre Viennese Waltz by Ricky and Erin and a not-mediocre-but-very-Tom-Chambers-in-the-mouth-department Paso by Chris and Ola (go Team Cola - back on form - loving THEM), we were hit by *dramatic yet camp music of terror* CURSE THREE. Laila's wee ankle. Oh it was genuine, so those who are titter-tattering about sympathy votes, just pack yer bags and head off somewhere nasty. Siberia. Jupiter. Skegness. They were real tears, guys - face it, she's not that good an actress. On a plus, it still scored as high as that jive despite only being half-a-rumba.

Next was a mediocre foxtrot by Natalie and Wee Vee (but we could blame the foxtrot - I despise the foxtrot) and a semi-mediocre cha cha cha by Ali and Brian. I think everything just seemed mediocre. I can't stop saying mediocre. Mediocre. I think the atmosphere was flat. I think everyone was concerned for Jade and Laila. I think everyone missed Bruce. Brian and Kristina's Bolero was nice but not oh-wow - we really needed a fantastic pro dance to bring the house down - something like a Cutlerjive or a Lowequickstep, but it was not to be. The other pro dance again, was good but not memorable. Shame, shame. And the fact that Tuffers is no more, well, that just breaks my tiny heart.

Next week has got to be a good show. It's got to be an AMAZING show or Strictly's in big trouble. There needs to be a BIG PIZZAZZ again to get the series kicked off, even if it's not next week, and the only remedy I can think of is to get...Back to Black...pool.

Come on, FINAL IN BLACKPOOL. (Every year...)

Close Encounters of the Strictly Kind, Pt 3

2009-11-08T10:30:00.004Z

Didn't get tickets for Blackpool. In fact, between us, Frankie and I have never got tickets for any live Strictly show, despite applying every year since 1233AD. Marvellously luckily for me however, a good friend did get them and allowed me to tag along (as part of my birthday present - which also included balsamic vinegar, olive oil and, mmm, bread...) So here's the story...

Woke up all nervous - partly due to the pressure of not knowing if we'd get in and partly due to the pressure of speaking n the radio that morning. I haven't even listened to myself on that. I don't think I'm going to as last time I sounded like a mouse. On helium. But by the by, with that over and done with (and feeling slightly less nervy), it was then just a case of getting self to Blackpool and in that damned queue.

Being a control freak, Type A personality, uh, type, I insisted that the E-tickets were posted by my friend (let's call him Chris...because that's his name) through my letter box early in the morning. I was going to queue early even if he wasn't. So, off I went to Blackpool...dressed up to the nines...sliver sparkly shoes...pink tutu...and got extremely confused looks from the other people on the Number 7 bus.

Arrived there thinking ooh-well-maybe-I-can-get-some-lunch-first, but then the queue had started already. Thinking ahead (and knowing North West weather all too well), I decided to grab my place under the shelter that surrounds the promenade side of Blackpool Tower. Note: better to queue four hours dry than two hours wet. Had a quick chat to Helen, who brings her lovely little girls into the library and had got there before me (mutter mutter mutter) and then joined the end of the line with Peter and Sharon from my ballroom class, who just happened to arrive at the same time. Phoned Chris and begged for flapjack and crisps to be brought to me.

Time in queue went science-defyingly quickly. Love the bonding that goes on in these situations. Special mentions go to Chris (another one - who later peed next to Ian) and Jenny, all the way from somewhereMidlands, for entertaining us with stories of how the children in her class don't watch Strictly - but their grandmas do. Crowd of women behind us singing Sweet Caroline. And the Strictly theme tune. They were, uh, happy? Anyhullabullo, time did fly and it wasn't too cold. Local knowledge meant we could sneakily use the Tower Lounge toilets and we were happily under cover at all times. Had fun laughing at those who turned up later...a sea of unbrellas...and all soaking wet. Suckers.

Doors opened at 3.15pm and we were ushered in to stand in the circus queue for another hour. I was concerned we were going to be herded into the circus instead to get us out of the way, locked in and forced to watch bendy Hungarian women hang from string for three hours. Luckily, that didn't happen. Chris went for a pee. Peed next to Brendan.

We were then escorted in to the ballroom and give our seats. Right behind the judges table...and a pillar. I was really disappointed and concerned I wasn't going to be able to see a thing, especially the latin dances that tend to stay in one spot. However, it was fascinating to listen to the production team's mutterings and see what goes on behind the scenes. Alesha sits on two (extremely sparkly) cushions behind that desk, yer know. And the make-up people dash out like ferrets to powder the judges' noses (and tidy Len's combover) when the VTs are running...

The Rod Stewart segment was filmed first and I found, to my utter delight, a lot of , nay most of the dancing, would take place straight ahead of me in that little gap between the table and the next row of people. So I had a near perfect view of Penny and Matthew...and later of Ricky and Erin, amongst others. Soo exciting. It was at this point I realised that Chris had managed to sneak a sausage roll in with him and wanted to ask Len if he'd swap it for a bottle of water.

So, Chris stole a bottle of water from the crate under the chair next to us (and promptly hid the bottle under the chair of the person in front - you can't take some people anywhere...) The pros filmed a gorgeous (imagine that in Craig R-H's voice, darling) Viennese Waltz around chandeliers and it was all ballroomy and Blackpooly and soooo like the old Come Dancing (not that I remember that but hurrah for Youtube!)

We then went live and I think I nearly dislocated my shoulder from all the clapping. Ricky and Erin were on first and got a good reception. I couldn't see all of the dance, but then tango-ed past my view from time to time. When they'd finished, I twigged that the curtain to the left of me concealed...Tess' Area! I could hear voices from inside! You don't know how tempting it was to stick my head through there...but it meant that all the pros and celebs walked really near us on their way to collect their scores! Flavia is tiny.

Natalie and Vincent got a massive applause for their quickstep but I think the biggest cheers went to Chris Hollins and, of course, Craig Kelly. It was his home crowd and looked so delighted to be there. The atmosphere was amazing and I heard members of the production team comment that they should do the final there - or at least go every year! I caught their eyes and nodded vehemently. I hope they knew I could hear them...otherwise they prob just thought I was doing an impression of the Churchill dog. It was a complete surprise that Jill Halfpenny was there and she danced like a demon as always - I still say, best female contestant ever! It did mean Lilia had to dance with Brendan (my friend peed next to Brendan!) which was a tad surreal.

It seemed almost perfect that Craig had his last dance in Blackpool and he didn't look disappointed or sad. After the cameras stopped rolling, we went on to the floor (resisting the urge to dance salsa) and I found it very bizarre to be surrounded by all the celebs and pros. I had a quick word with the lovely Brian Fortuna who was being mobbed by other batty fans at the same time, so left them to it. One batty fan at a time is enough. Was terrified of Brian. However, spoke to Craig Kelly also, which wasn't scary at all - probably due to the familiar local accent. Chris shook hands with 'the pretty girl from Hollyoaks', so he was happy. Of the very kind.

You might not get to see as much of the dances as you would watching it on TV but there's really nothing like being there live. Actually, no, I lie. It's rubbish. Watch it from home people. And if you get tickets, send them to me...

Oh we do like to be beside the the seaside...

2009-11-07T18:12:00.007Z

It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming...Strictly's coming home! It's all kicking off at the Tower Ballroom tonight, Clover is lucky enough to be there so you're getting a blog post from me now and something from her a little later.

Ricky and Natalie

Going out first at Blackpool and after getting a 39 last week is a big ask, but we knew Ricky was going to live up to it. Watching this I could tell it was brilliant and technically fabulous but it was totally RUINED for me by the song choice! I love that song, but as we've seen before, the wrong song completely destroys the drama of a tango, it's like someone has the radio on in the background. If that had been to a sparse, staccato tune I would have been blown away, alas no. Thankfully Natalie had a totally fabulous dress.

Natalie and Vincent

Wow, what a cracker! Good job they had that big floor because they looked like they were running for miles in that one. Loved the choreography, especially all the charleston. Had to laugh when they said they didn't have a funny beginning or end so they were allowed a twiddly bit in the middle just to annoy Len. I have also come to the conclusion Natalie was born about 40 years too late, she looks amazing in all the vintage-styled get ups!

Jade and Ian

Loving Ian's spangly shirt (we haven't used our favourite word in a while!), but disappointed at the lack of crazy green trousers. Totally loved the choreography and how it played to Jade's strengths and amazing legs- and she CAN do the kicks and flicks! Definitely her best latin so far, can't wait for the tango.

Ali and Brian

The opening VT made me think I might have to buy a hat sometime soon...Proper Disney Princess dress on Ali there too! The whole thing was beautifully light and frothy like a Viennese Waltz should be. Cannot believe Craig got his 10 out before the final, it's been an eventful night already!

Ricky and Erin

Looks like Erin stole Laila's samba outfit, what's that all about? Great poofy skirt though! Not quite sure how I felt about this one, it seemed like there were lots of little bits all over the place and some were good and some were bad. The bit where he went crazy in front of the judges like a drunken tourist was hilarious though!

Laila and Anton

Did the wardrobe department get a job lot of red lace this year? Thankfully, it looks pretty good in this frock, Laila looks stunning! Probably the most dramatic paso we've seen in a long time, the pair of them really pulled out all the stops and gave us the whole package. I don't care if that was an illegal lift, it was fabulously done.

Tufty and Katya

I recoiled in horror at the idea of Phil doing the rumba, but once again this wasn't a total car crash. Then again, he didn't really seem to do too much! Not sure about Len saying it was his best latin (an 8, really?!), I did however love his massive comedy grin to the camera halfway through. Not sure about Kayta's net-curtian poncho...

Chris and Ola

Totally hilarious opening VT with Chris getting his mouth taped shut, gotta love these two. Completely genius song choice from Ola and she really ramped up the musicality of it all. Nice frock too. It's so lovely to see all Chris' hard work pay off after he's struggled so much, ah the magic of Blackpool!

Craig and Flavia

Ah the local boy is last out, what a surprise. Wasn't sure about this song when I heard it on ITT but it did actually work. Craig's face was hilarious throughout the whole dance, he was gawping like a kid in a sweet shop! I actually think this was Craig's best latin, but Len was right, he just isn't as good as everybody else. Harsh words from Alesha, but yep, Dad's back. Also, couldn't they have given Craig a red waistcoat or something rather than just plain black?

Totally loved seeing footage of the now legendary Strictly Bus to Blackpool, with everyone acting like they're on a school trip. We really need to make this a yearly event; who's with me in starting a campaign to have the final there every year? Omg, is that a group Viennese Waltz? We haven't seen one of these in forever (by which I mean since about 2005), how fabulous. There's some lovely dresses in there too.

Group swing jive

Jill? Is that JILL?! Ok, maybe I missed something earlier this week, but I had no idea she was turning up. Oh crikey, Brucie is singing! I cannot take all this unexpected excitement. What a charming little number, nice to see they pulled out something special for Blackpool. And there were some great outfits too, Flavia looked as cute as a button!

Oh look, now it's Rod, I'm sorry this seems to be turning into the longest blog post ever...I'm not going to pretend I like Rod Stewart, but he's not doing too bad tonight. Thankfully Penny spangles her way on the the most blingtastic of fringed dresses, although I must say it looks totally wrong that she's taller than Matthew.

Dance off

It's been such a fun night I don't really want anyone to go. How schmaltzy. Wow, is that actual bottom two with the judges in the bottom two with the public? I guess there's a first time for everything! I think Ricky actually performed better second time around so he really did deserve to stay. Was I the only one who thought the band might break into 'Oh we do like to be beside the seaside' at the end? What a night!

Confounded with confusion

2009-11-02T18:27:00.006Z

There follows a Public Service Announcement: This week there has been some confusion, due to jetlag, Zoe leaving and many other things, and so you are getting a Frankie blog post here and Clover's comments below. Who cares, next week it's Blackpool - Strictly's coming hooooome!

Natalie and Vincent
Don't you just love how Natalie gets all excited about the dances? Like Jodie last year I think Natalie owns the word 'gusto' this time around. As with this dance, not technically the best but you need to throw yourself into the jive and she certainly did that. Not too sure about the dodgy fringe but the outfits were super-cute.

Ali and Brian
Ok, so I don't think anyone was expecting Ali to be spectacular at the paso but I think she pulled it off in her own way. Being the cape rather than the bull was a good idea and she was technically as brilliant as ever. She also had a very, very nice frock and hair and makeup, which distracted from the return of the circus music.

Craig and Flavia
Well Flavia coped well since she seemed to have become entangled in one of Pat Butcher's curtains just before she started. She isn't lucking out with the dresses this year, is she? Overall, Criag's best dance, but come on, this is a waltz and it's not exactly week one. Don't care if I'm betraying the local boy, I'm bored.

Chris and Ola
Could the catsuit become a yearly tradition for Ola? Like Brendan storming off and Anton not winning? Nice cheeky little number from the cheeky pair, Chris also seemed like he was enjoying himself. Agreed with comments about his mouth though; amusing week one, freaky week seven.

Jade and Ian
Gosh this was lovely, just all-round old school lovely. Len was right, what a treat. Well done Ian for such a lovely routine, I'm quite looking forward to an American Smooth from these two now. After last week's drama a 35 is just what you need to pick things up, plus we now have the Ian Waite Blackpool Outfit to look forward too.

Zoe and James
Zoe works the Halloween theme by appearing dressed as a combination of Posion Ivy and Tinkerbell. Saying that I am always glad to see some feathers after last week's disappointing lack of them. Thought she looked a bit awkward during this one, but elegance is her thing and you don't get that with the samba. And since when did samba automatically mean disco music?

Ricky and Erin
After the surprisingly great American Smooth last week I was wondering what trick Erin would have up her sequinned sleeve and I think capitalising on her whole evil-genius-Bond-Girl thing was a pretty good idea. At one point backstage I thought she was wearing a sequinned catsuit and nearly had a heart attack! Anyway, great song choice, adds a bit of drama when a rumba can sometimes be a bit boring. I geniunely don't think this was as bad as the judges made out, it could have been a car crash and it wasn't.

Laila and Anton
Could a Vienesse Waltz from these two be anything other than beautiful? I was also impressed by Anton's lovely music choice which stopped it from being stuffy. Will we get another ballroom dance next week since they did two latin before? I think Blackpool deserves it.

Tufty and Katya
At first I didn't think this was going to work but then as the dance went on and Tufty got into it I was quite impressed. No more bum shaking, great coreography from Katya (looking lovely dressed as Evita). Not classic Tufty but he certainly worked hard to try and master that one.

Ricky and Natalie
About 20 seconds into this dance I realised we'd be getting the 10s out from under the desk. Genius coreography from Natalie and a great song choice to that made it nice and Hollywood. She's really making her presence felt this series! Bit concerned about how good his latin is, but Ricky really knows how to do the ballroom.

Anyone else scared half to death by the BeeGees? Was that the halloween number for this year? At least Kristina and Ola got to play Las Vegas showgirls for us. Where were those fabulous outfits for the samba last week?

Dance off
Shock! Horror! The type-of-random-result-we-get-every-year-but-still-gasp-over finally hits us. Felt so sorry for Ali having to dance with no shoes on and both of them looked like they were going to have a major freakout halfway around the floor. If I'd have been forced to pick between these two I guess I would have saved Ali. Now the big question for next week is whether Craig will go in his home town?

Time to Go Jo/The Curse of James

2009-11-02T17:18:00.007Z

Ah, two entries in one? Think of it as a Double A side single release rather than my sad self being a lazy moose and just not having got round to posting anything. Hpmh, well don't blame me. Frankie's off sunning herself in Florida...and I've been busy too. Hence the non-postage. My excuse last week was that I was also sunning myself. In the Lake District. My excuse this week is ... well, give me a few minutes to think of one...

However, I've not got the steam in me to rant about each and every couple (soo tired) so I've three highlights and three, uh, lowlights from the past two weeks and a general comment about both eliminations.

Highlights

1) Craig getting to Blackpool. Although this has an adverse effect on the other couples, I'm glad he's made it. Now he has to have his last dance in the tower ballroom - the poignancy is almost poetic.

2) Jade and Ian, generally. Shouldn't have been in dance off - choosing to ignore it. Loving this couple. Real journey coming on and one of the few who's really making progress.

3) Pro Jive Week 6. As good as the Rebel Yell one a few years ago. Had Cutler written all over it. Am I right?

Lowlights

1) Zoe leaving. Really unfair. Mini-rant below.

2) Ola's Catsuit - really, put it away.

3) Anton and Latingate. Seriously getting annoyed with this selfish chap. Just because he doesn't like latin he's jeopardising Laila's chances of being a real contender. You don't see Erin or Natalie making a fuss, do you?

Re. the eliminations, there's not really much to say about Jo other than that it was her time to go. Despite my better judgement, I actually began to like this girl and I liked Brendan's attitude towards her. They were a lovely partnership and did very well. I'm being nice. I don't think I feel well...Zoe, on the other hand, has fallen prey to what shall henceforth be known as The Curse of James. No matter how good his partner is, he never makes it beyond the middle of the competition. Quite unfairly too because he's not the nasty James from days gone by; he's actually a fairly nice chap. So what's the problem? Probably people voting to get Craig to Blackpool. Ah well, you win some...you lose some...

Frankie should be back next week and we'll be back to our usual postage (she'll nag me to complete it) - special BLACKPOOL edition next week (we were both born there so it's VERY exciting!) There will also be a special Blackpool 'Simon Says...' too, we hope...

Simon Says (Week 5)

2009-10-22T09:19:00.003+01:00

Back by popular demand, here's this week's round-up from our firm but fair Strictly expert and ballroom dancer, Simon Grogan. We think if the BBC wants to shake up the judging panel next series, he'd be the ideal candidate! - Clover and Frankie.

"Well we're on week 5 and the competition is getting fiercer every week!!!!

First of all I want to say 'Well Done Craig Kelly', no dance of what a relief!!!! Will he make it to Blackpool???? Let's hope so.

Now on to one of my favourite couples, Brian and Ali. I don't know what Len was talking about I thought th choreography was great and really showed what Ali could do. Great outfits too!

Now onto Ricki and Natalie and Alesha's ten. Mmm not a wise move Alesha to soon for tens, but I have to agree that the dance was very good!

Jo and Brendan, it was definitely her best dance and I don't understand why Craig has to be so rude to her. Bruce you ROCK for what you said, yay Brucie we love you!

Right then Zoe and James. Zoe did not deserve to be in the dance-off and people need to support her more. Yes her kicks and flicks were a bit lazy and need sharpening up but she is a brilliant dancer and I look forward to seeing her progress.

Mmmm Laila and Anton. I really like this couple but I think Anton made an absolutely huge mistake. I know he's not the best at the jive but he could at least tried a little harder with his song choice because you couldn't feel the beat clearly which made it even harder for poor Laila. I have done the jive and it's not easy.

Natalie and Vincent are a very nice couple and there viennese waltz was very nice, but on the pivots Natalies feet were too far off the ground. All in all a very good performance.

Ricky and Erin, well I have to say I was quite disappointed, I thought it was going to be very fun and exciting, but was quite boring and repetitive. Like the judges said I have never seen so many kick ball changes in one dance.

Jade and Ian are very promising and I think they could go very far in the compeition, Jade just needs to relax a bit, she seems very tense.

I really like Phil and Katya, I think they are both very laid back and do especially well in their ballroom. They seem to enjoy it a lot! Cricketers always do well in Strictly so keep going Phil!

Chris and Ola, I was disappointed because Chris has the advantage of being small which makes it easier to Jive.

And finally Joe and Christina, brilliant song choice and choreography - what a shame they had to go. Without a doubt his best week I was beginning to quite like him!

My tip for the contestants is if they dont want to be in the dance off then don't dance for Claudia on Fridays It Takes Two! Sorry Claudia. "

F1, fringing and frights...

2009-10-17T22:47:00.003+01:00

After the trauma of the F1 delay (thanks to everyone on Twitter getting us through it!) we begin the show thoroughly annoyed and even tenser than ever. Thankfully, a full procession of comedy outfits comes down the stairs and we’re away!

Ricky and Erin

Oh how I squealed when I saw Erin in that outfit, rumours of a Wonder Woman costume were only slightly exaggerated! Oh dear, a prop, the last refuge of the desperate. Quite a cute routine from Erin, loved the chicken walk, but actually quite simple. Loved Alesha and Bruno laughing away in the background. Slightly concerned about the ongoing comedy vote though…

What was this? This was stupid. Sorry, but there was only one step in the whole routine and that involved Ricky's partially disembodied leg swinging forwards and backwards like a pendulum on a very, very old (and out of time) clock. Frankie's right about the prop - it really is the very last resort. Next week expect to see him ride in on a unicycle.

Jade and Ian

Beautiful hair and makeup, dress like a duvet. Warmed to Ian’s song choice quite quickly, I find too many Viennese Waltzes a little dull but thought this song gave it a bit of an edge but still kept it romantic. Thankfully it is the time of year when we can unashamedly use the word fleckerl and pretend we know what we’re talking about!

I liked this. Thought it was gorgeous. Can't warm to Jade though. Clare-from-Work says that it's Denise Lewis Syndrome. Can we not warm to sportswomen? Is a competitive nature something that goes against women in these things? Answers on a postcard addressed to Gabby Logan.

Ali and Brian

Oh my word, put Rachel Stevens down Brian! Guess that’s a way of making sure you get a front row seat. Bit worried about Ali’s arms actually, think the routine could have been a bit too tricky for her. Does she seem to be getting more nervous as it goes on?

Good but not great. Speaking of Rachel Stevens, Ali is getting a little bit, uh, Rachel Stevens. Lovely, and technically sound but no wow yet. Hoping there's still wow in her.

Jo and Brendan

Jo seemed a lot more confident this week in the ITT training footage so I was hoping with a simpler dance like the VW might move her along a bit. Too bad about the shameless celeb name-dropping. Boring frock, did they run out of glitter? Omg, there goes Stepford Brendan! Hurrah for Len and Alesha saying it was her best dance.

Don't mind Jo. She really does try and it was her best week. Bruce really came to her defence too - as well as Brendan. And rightly so. What's with Craig? He can't see a belt without hitting below it.

Zoe and James

Wow, Zoe looks stunning! Probably my favourite dress of the night. Really good use of Northern Soul too to keep things nice and bouncy. Thought Zoe right got into the feel of things and looked like she was really enjoying herself.

Aw Zoe, poor Zoe. She did not deserve to be in the dance-off. But this is what happens to James' partners isn't it? He can be as nice as cherry pie and it still doesn't work. Check the evidence: Gabby, Cherie. Both went before their time. Both good dancers (if both a little cold personality-wise). This is the kind of thing that will kick start me to vote next week. This was a good dance. Poor gal.

Ricky and Natalie

Oh dear, extended opening, Len won’t like that Natalie! Wasn’t too sure about this, I’m sure it was technically good but just wasn’t feeling it. Maybe that’s the sign of a good VW! Knew the big points were coming out, but my god what is Alesha doing whipping out the first 10 of the series?! We’ll never hear the end of this!

I can kind of see why she gave a 10. She'd given 9s and it's all relative, innit? And it was a good dance. I think the main thing here to note is that Ricky was leading the dance. That is so unbelieveably important and about as rare as Bruno having a calm evening in with a cup of cocoa. Goughie could lead, Matt Dawson could lead...Gethin got it too. Ricky's an all round good dancing egg - even if his salsa was pants.

Craig and Flavia

And the comedy outfits continue, not even Katy Perry would wear those shorts Flavia was poured into! Thought he went for it in a way he hasn’t done in the previous weeks but it was a bit messy. A four was harsh from Craig and I don’t think he deserved his lowest score for it.

The fact that he got saved this week proves that the very very bottom of the leaderboard is a fairly safe place to be. I was glad for him - as I keep saying, he's a local lad who just wants to get to Blackpool (he's the only one...grim place...) but this dance was not. good.

Joe and Kristina
Kristina is channelling another Christina tonight and looks stunning. Was not looking forward to this jive at all and wow it was bad, despite yet more creative choreography from Kristina. Not sure why the judges are saying he’s getting better, it doesn’t matter when most people were better than him in week 1.

This was the first dance he actually danced. Having said that, it's not so much of a shame he had to go because the competition's getting on a bit and we need to start thinking about voting off the duffers. Ha ha, duffers - I'm cruel.

Natalie and Vincent

So here we are with Natalie’s first elegant dance. Twiddly opening but beautiful music, Vincent really knows how to pick them. Loved Len’s kid in a candy store analogy, that’s what people love about her. Would have liked to have seen a full board of 7s, Bruno seems to be marking a bit harsher than usual tonight.

This was nice. Not much more than nice but it's Natalie and she worked hard and she deserves a bit of credit for that. I've not much else to say other than that she's a little star and I hope she goes far (in a car, wearing a bra, la de da, off to the bar, tra la laaaa....)

Laila and Anton

Was really very nervous for Laila with this dance and also got scared when she came out looking like something from Sesame Street! Very odd song choice, only matched by the oddness of Anton doing the jive. Honestly though, it was a lot better than what I was expecting. They’ll get through this week I think, since she’s proved how good she can be. A seven from Len was daft though!

Anton. Your card is marked. Quit larking about with the latin. There is no reason why Laila shouldn't be good at both if you would concentrate an equal amount of time, effort and positivity on both disciplines.

Phil and Katya

Was wondering how Phil would charm his way through the VW, but thankfully he got a spiffy suit and an amazing song choice. Katya knows what she’s doing! But was that an illegal lift I saw there? I do love the way even Phil seems surprised at how good he is though, I whiff a journey.

You know, I found the whole thing a little boring this week. This again was OK, nice, yada yada. Yes, he is charming but I'm bored of pointing that out.

Chris and Ola

What precisely is Ola wearing tonight? Bit too much air guitar but I really thought there was a bit of musicality in this one. Alesha was right, he had the most spring in his step. Does anyone think he would have been scored higher if he was Ricky Groves? And wow, what a spray tan!

Drunk-Uncle-Chris-at-Auntie-Sylvia's-50th-Birthday strikes again! It was not bad but it was not good. Everything is average nowadays.

As for the group dance, I really think the BBC should broadcast a warning: the following programme will contain very scary footage of Anton du Beke. Oh yeah and Spandau Ballet were so dull.

Dance off
First proper dance off shocker of the series! Was worried Zoe would go to pieces due to the sheer weirdness of it all but she got through it fine. Oh well, bye bye Joe, it was fun while it lasted.

Strictly Salsaaaaa! (Oh yeah, and booooo foxtrot...)

2009-10-11T15:38:00.007+01:00

Last week we were all going mad with the length of the show, but we forgot it was going to be just as long this week! So here we are with 13 couples and more than two hours of spangles.

Like Amy Winehouse, Frankie is back in black this week, while Clover is in purple.

Clover also apologies for the extreme lateness of this blog entry. Due to being out on Saturday and Sunday evenings (and having watched Strictly on iPlayer at 3am whilst mildly inebriated...) I have found this week a weelittle tricky.

Zoe and James

Genius song choice from James Jordan shocker! Thought this routine struck the right balance between glitzy and technically good. Not too sure what Bruno was going on about with sex appeal but it was a suitably good way to start the show. And since Len gave it a nine it must have been good.

Great couple, delightful dance, pretty dress. I'm going to be honest though: I hate the foxtrot. Yes, it can be lovely to watch but my painful experience of trying to dance it colours my opinion of the whole thing. Which is a shame really. But it does suck. James is still being lovely. Think someone weally weally nice has locked the real James in a large chest, dosed up on Polyjuice Potion and is masquerading as Mr Jordan. I think it's Carol Smillie.

Chris and Ola

Ola sure seems to like that dress, it’s getting smaller every week! Not so much half naked as two thirds naked! Chris was very brave doing the bits out of hold, but it did turn into dad dancing territory for me.

Great track. Danced to this last night actually. Chris really seemed to enjoy this but I agree with Frankie, it's soooo dad, nay, even perhaps 'drunkle' . Clare-from-Work doesn't like Chris. Thinks he's smug. I am not sure if I am going off him a little. Nothing's topped that rumba yet, has it?

Lynda and Darren

As I sat there with relief thinking oh good a dance where Lynda isn’t going to pull funny faces, I then saw the dress which again looks like it has come from the Primark school of Strictly frocks. Haha, what a twee little song choice from Darren though. Didn’t look to bad to me, but I agree with what Craig said about it being safe. Dunno how they can go on about her walking when that’s all Joe has done for weeks!

Song choice was sooo twee. It was more twee than Jonathan Ross' garden. I kinda liked that though. I didn't think the frock was that bad and I didn't think the dance was that bad. It was just there.

Ali and Brian

The moment we had all been waiting for, thank god it came quickly! Was a bit worried about Ali tensing up but she really went for it. Thought the judges were a bit harsh on her actually, maybe it’s the weight of expectation? Loved Ali’s dress but not quite sure about the colour, it should have been turquoise or something equally bright.

Ah, the fabulously-flashy LA crossbody style salsa! I think the weight of expectation was too high as it didn't blow me away (but I was kind of dozed-by-rum, to be fair) On a rewatch, I appreciate the intricacies of the routine and that neck drop, bloomin' nora, you wouldn't catch me doing a thing like that, not for fifty pounds. This girl is one to watch. And Brian is Strictly's Salsa King: I'm kinda sad that's it for the series...

Jo and Brendan

Thought Jo looked amazing tonight, ok it was obvious Brendan was steering her quite a bit but the judges didn’t need to keep going on about it. Someone on twitter has referred to Brendan as Stepford Brendan and I am starting to see what they mean, he's ridiculously nice this series!

I don't dislike this woman. Which surprises me. Dance was uneventful - but that's good because it means it wasn't memorably awful. Clare-from-Work thinks that Brendan is lovely because he's all engaged and settled. Opinions?

Natalie and Vincent

Someone has finally given Natalie a decent hairdo and she looks fabulous tonight! She looks like a firework! So glad she got over her nerves and she and Vincent are looking like a proper team. I think she could rival Ricky Groves in the gusto stakes, but would like to see what happens when she gets something a bit more graceful.

Natalie looked fantastic. This gal is a star. OK, technique-wise, the hippage was somewhat lacking etc but, as is becoming regular with Natalie, this was a true party performance. Hair, dress, make-up, all fantastic. Must commend Frankie on use of the word 'gusto' - it's one of my favourites. Possibly top 10.

Joe and Kristina

What a song choice! Kristina is a genius when you consider what she has to work with. Plus she had the most amazing mermaid dress on, so OTT but I loved it. I think there was a mild improvement, but nothing to write home about.

Now in my mildly drunken state I was convinced that this song was in waltz timing. A quick one, but still waltzy. If not 3/4 then 2/6 or something (no, I can't tell the difference.) Did anyone else notice this? Please help if you know! This completely left me confounded with confusion and I missed anything else about the routine. From what I gather, that's not such a bad thing.

Laila and Anton

Well this had to be good didn’t it? You can’t go wrong with a bit of Frank and Laila looked stunning. Just knew the judges would go mad for it, there was technique oozing out of every move. Really hope they can pull it together for the latin though.

Laiiiiila, you got me on my knees...well not quite, but this was a bit good, wasn't it? But then it's Anton and it's foxtrot and it's Sinatra and s'wonderful...s'marvellous etc. This girl is also good and deserves to do well in it. If she doesn't then it's Anton's faulty, I'm afraidy.

Ricky and Natalie

Just look at those hips go! Almost makes you want to have Arlene to bang on about them incessantly. Thought Natalie’s frock was nice in a Dirty Dancing style. Quite negative comments from the judges when you think he’s only got two points less than Laila. And Ricky really hasn;t read our SCD Winning Formula, quit your day job!

Er, I didn't see any hips going anywhere. Don't know what Frankie and Bruno are talking about. This what a big disappointment. Alesha was made a fair point, you know, this time. He could have coped with a better routine - but then, for the first time, Natalie didn't shine either. I suspect she's not all familiar with salsa? Just a hunch. And walking around just spinnin' yer woman? That's quite a little pet peeve of mine.

Craig and Flavia

Has Flavia done something to offend the dress designers this year? I am on a one-woman mission to ban the colour grey from SCD. The song also made me cringe so it wasn't a good start. Saying all that, I thought this was Craig’s best dance so far myself. He's got a long way to go but he's trying his bestest.

Flavia's dress made her look like a nun who's been run over by a tram and lost her habit. Kinda ruined the dance for me. Craig is losing his battle with the nerves, which is such a shame. I'm still behind the local lad and wishing him well. Come on, wow-wee us with a jive!

Jade and Ian

God I hate headbands...Loving Ian’s crazy trousers though, how tiny is his waist?! Anyway, loved this as a whole piece, with them both dancing as a team.

They laid into Jade about stepping back too big - fair point but on the whole, but in general her action was fantastic - much better than Ricky's. She shimmies well, there was oodles of energy and the dress was exquisite.

Ricky and Erin

Erin overcomes being toilet rolled and choreographs a great number for them. Also really liked her giggling away in training. I can see what Ricky meant about not wanting to be the comedy vote, maybe he should just embrace the idea he's a bit better at latin that ballroom?

A gallant effort and I really commend Ricky for his attitude. I can't say I enjoyed it as much as that paso - I have my fingers, toes, arms, legs and eyes crossed that he doesn't get boring. Serious, boring Erin-whipped guy will go out mid-series; funny guy could make the final.

Phil and Katya

Wow, I can’t believe how well Phil pulled that off! Very brave choreography from Katya with him doing so much alone at the start but I think he managed it. Cute outfits as well, with Katya dressed as 80s Salsa Barbie. A four versus a seven? Ooh controversial.

Apart from that solo spot at the beginning, he didn't do much. I'll let him off. Still love this guy.

It seems to have been an odd night for dresses, some were great and some were yuck. Loving Tess’ dress, how fabulous and didn't make her look frumpy like she has in some past series. Alesha, take your coat off, you not stopping?

Dance off

No one surprising in the dance off this week, which was a bit of a surprise in itself. I think we're keeping the Joes for a bit longer, and Jo Wood was actually half decent this week. Even though I've not really warmed to Lynda this series I thought this was one of her better dances so she didn't really deserve to go this week. And it was quite cool to have a moment of suspense, since I really didn't know which way the judges were going to go.

Predictable, predictable, predictable. I wasn't surprised at all that Len saved Craig. I don't think either, if I'm honest, could have gone much further, so it didn't matter which went. I'm getting to the point now that I'm wanting rid of Calzage. Bored.

PS. Did anyone else think that Amy Winehouse looked as though she could just topple over?

Strictly Come Marathon-ing

2009-10-03T19:05:00.009+01:00

Here comes the longest night of Strictly ever and therefore the longest blog post ever. Get your scroll button at the ready!

We're back to our old-school blogging of last year now, so Frankie is in black tonight and Clover is rocking the purple.

Ali and Brian

Going first out of fourteen when you're a hotly-tipped couple, no pressure then! But what an utterly charming quickstep Brian put together and Ali really seemed to love the whole thing. Was really impressed at how light-footed and frothy she was. The ending was so cute and Hollywood as well. Plus Brian suddenly seems to have potential as the new face-pulling pro of the series, hurrah!

Oh I love watching a good ol' quickstep...and here be one. This was a little fizzpop of a dance. Ali looked gorgeous in her pastel dress and Brian's choreography was not too flashy - and not too dull. First out too, so nerves must have been on overdrive. These two are, like, sooooo cute together. Get married! Have pretty babies! That's an order.

Lynda and Darren

I did not have very high hopes for this, or the dress (yet more sleeves and about 2 metres of excess fabric). I don't want to sound too Craig R-H about Lynda, but seriously, what was up with her face?! Naff song choice and no passion at all. More importantly, do we think Darren waxed for tonight's show? Now come on Len and Alesha, put those 7s away!

Yes, yeees, we know it was over-marked with sevens. But then so were several other dances this evening. I think the judges are trying to pre-empt the John Sergeant vote by being slightly less cruel than last year. However, I liked the dress, regardless of the fact it had sleeeeeves Frankie (anyone would think this girl wanders round all winter in a vest. Note: she doesn't) This was a good effort from Lynda. Her best so far and definitely deserved to stay in the competition. Despite getting a little Dom Littlewood on Darren's bottom.

Chris and Ola

Brightening up my 6am shifts, I have waited all week to see Chris back on the dancefloor. Besides the distraction of Ola's Mr Whippy hairstyle I really enjoyed this, even with the mistakes. There is something really endearing about Chris, watching him sing along and reminding us of Darren Gough.

I didn't look at his feet so no idea just how technically pitiful it was. He really was having a ball, wasn't he? As Frankie would say, he 'eyes and teethed' his way through- and that is surprisingly endearing. It wasn't so much Ola's hair that distracted me, as the blancmange-like commodities on her shoulders. If Dynasty went ballroom, that is what it would look like. Not acceptable even in the 80s.

Zoe and James

Why does James grow a Satan beard for the paso every year? Plus the outfits looked like something from Ann Summers, so wasn't too struck before the dance even started. Oh yeah, and I hate that song too! Getting to the dance, why was the whole thing so slow? It made it look robotic to me; ok, maybe technically good etc but the paso for me is about drama and spectacle. Not deserving of three 8s to me.

The arrangement of that song was the problem here. It had no attack, it had no crescendo. I don't really know what crescendo means...but it's a good word, non? That made the whole thing pretty flat. Nonetheless, I knew the judges would love it. I got used to them raving about dull performances last year. Lisa Ahem Snowdon Ahem. Oh, I'm not calling this dull...I'm calling it...unfortunate. James is a doll this year. Who is this Mr Nice Guy?

Rav and Aliona

Watching Rav look nervous and twitching in the background when the others were talking to Tess made me want him to do well even more. Actually squealed with delight when the song kicked in and once again at the cartwheel! I know what the judges meant and could see the gap big-enough-for-a-double-decker-bus to use a Len-ism. Overly-harsh marking once again. I really hope Rav doesn't go out tonight, I have the whiff of a possible journey...

I think your bus crashed, Frankie. This was not good, which is a shame because he is delightful to look at. This is MY quickstep song too (stolen?! pah!) - you know, for if ever I'm invited to take part on the show (you never know...you know...) so actually, kudos to Aliona for the music. I've only just realised that their names when said together sound much like 'ravioli'.

Natalie and Vincent and Vincent's eyebrow

Dodgy Betty Boop hairdo on poor Natalie there, but hurrah for some traditional music and kick-ass choreography from Vincent! Ooh the drama! These two are such a good pair together, may we see them for weeks to come.

I adored this dance. It captured the very flavour of the Paso Doble. I could almost taste the paella (though I'm not sure if I've actually ever tasted real paella...in which case, I'm not sure what I could taste... ) I thought Natalie looked fabulous in her costume and I thought it was woefully under-marked. Wee Vincent's choreography was magic and it's the first time this series I've gone all goosebumpy. That is a huge compliment

Craig and Flavia

I wouldn't say this was the most exciting quickstep in the world, but I hadn't realised how bad the judges thought it was! Saying that, is it just me or is Craig so much better out of hold? I don't know what it is, maybe it's a posture thing. And if it was so terrible, why did the judges give him one mark higher than Rav?

Because although Rav is prettier (sorry Craig), his dancing was worse. So get over it. What on earth happened to these quicksteps this evening? They were not good. Song however was a deeeelight. I adore Peroxide Swing so was very excited when the first few bars were played. I'm willing him to do well for Flavia more than for himself...and, because of course, he's our local lad. A bit more charisma will go a long way.

(ooh gosh, we're at the halfway point, do we get a tea break or something?)

Ricky and Natalie

The frocks really haven't been top-notch tonight, but Natalie certainly didn't deserve one that looked like it came from Primark. My word this was an aggressive paso! I could see the fire all the way through it, but like Len said last week I think it might have just been a little bit TOO harsh. At times it looked like Ricky wanted to murder her! Still bloody good though, omg, was that a 35 I just saw?!

Yeah, bad frock. Like something from Fame crossed with Rocky Horror. Or, to go back to Quality Streets, The Big Purple One. And like The Big Purple One, did it have a nut inside? Quite possibly - Natalie does have manic eyes. But my gosh, that girl can dance. And so can that boy. I did find parts a bit Austin-Healey-with-the-hors d'œuvres - and I know Espana Cani is the paso track...but it was used last series. And in series one. And I know it's hard to think of Paso music...but... but... but...

Jade and Ian

I was so excited about this dance; the training footage looked great, Jade got the best frock and rumour has it Ian stole one of our song suggestions. Loved all the jetes and they really used the floor (ooh I sound like Arlene!). A really fun, bright quickstep- great routine Ian!

Loved the dress. Loved the song. Loved the routine. Some of it may have been a little sloppy but it had such energy. It reminded me of Denise and Ian's quickstep all those many moons ago. I hope Jade doesn't get lost in the mid to late episodes and end up falling at the last hurdle. Dammit, wrong discipline. It's hard to metaphor longjump.

Joe and Kristina

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, just look at that outfit. Uber-cringe. Kristina looks like a genie too, bless her. Saying, that the cape action was quite good and so was the ending. Illegal lift alert! But once again, Joe just looks like he's walking around a lot of the time. For most of the dance I actually just sat and thought about what a great dancer Kristina is! A SIX Alesha? Come off it!

This guy is really starting to creep me out. He has the air of a man who might accidentally crush a small rodent or someone's wife just by uh-I-was-just-uh-hugging-it/her-uh. Uh. This and the fact that it was danced to what is officially The Worst Song Ever. The dancing was better though. Just.

Laila and Anton

Anton gets to do a proper quickstep, we thought this day would never come! Proper music and dancing and everything. Very classy, I just knew Len would love it. But wow, so many people are making footwork mistakes tonight, they must be going mad with nerves.

Classic, classy, no-frills quickstep. Without all those tricks and flicks and kicks, there's nowhere to hide. I think that was the point. Even if Laila doesn't get as far as the final, she will have learned to dance - not just set-routine after set-routine - she will be able to get up, with a partner and waltz, foxtrot, quickstep, to her heart's delight. And that is worth more than any glitterball.

Jo and Brendan

Ok, what is with the dresses tonight? Are the costume people overworked? This dance was actually a bit of a surprise for me, I was thinking it would be a total car crash and it wasn't and I think Brendan choreographed the routine really well for her. Plus Brendan was working some serious sparkle, its all about the sparkle!

I'm not saying I like the woman, but I have come to the conclusion that she's as near as we've ever got to a normal person doing Strictly. You know, a random (albeit a rich one), pulled off the street, with no performance experience or training. Even sportspeople 'perform' so she is unique. And she did improve. And Brendan has gone lovely.

Phil and Katya

I know more than one person who has had a knee cartilage operation and I cannot comprehend how Phil is not only able but allowed to dance with this. I don't know if I am impressed or not! Anyway, a darling little routine from Katya meant I soon forgot. All these mistakes are making me suspicious though, has Erin the evil genius put magnets in the floor again?

There's something amiss with the quicksteps these evening, with only Laila and Ali (Laila Ali? Has she hotfooted it over from DWTS?!) pulling off really good ones. This was my favourite of the rest though - it was charming. And the monochrome dress screamed elegance (if elegance screams, which it probably doesn't, it probably warbles or something like that.)

Ricky and Erin

Wow, Ricky looks sinister! As it started I was just in the process of typing about how much I liked Erin's dress when Ricky started screaming and I was pinned to my seat for the rest of the dance! Cannot believe he managed to raise the roof like that two weeks in a row. Well done for Craig saying he should be proud, I think that is a paso we will remember for quite a while.

Ricky Groves, proving himself to be a fantastic character actor, morphed into a strangely disconcerting and yes, sinister, yet pantomimey (in a good way) villain. He is what this show is about. His enthusiasm even makes Erin like the Paso Doble (I think she has described it in the past as a 'stupid dance'?) This pinned me to my seat too. Something that even Derren Brown can't manage.

Phew, is that everyone? Just as an aside, how much blusher is Craig R-H wearing tonight?! As we go into the voting I once again have no idea who will go, you just can't tell at this stage.

Dance-off

Joe and Kristina make it through first, ho hum what a surprise. The leaderboard was so big I've forgotten who was where now...Rav versus Lynda? It's no secret who I want to go, but I knew the judges wouldn't agree. I felt so sorry for Rav, he was so gutted he couldn't actually speak!

It was a shame but there was no contest really there. Surprising but true. I suspect Lynda will dance a foxtrot this week and that will be the first elegant give-it-to-the-older-lady dance she's done - she's doing very well. Can't wait for the salsas.

Simon Says...

2009-09-27T17:39:00.006+01:00

Poo to you, ITV. We have our very own Simon and he's set to put Mr Cowell to shame. So here we are, with the first instalment from our guest blogger, Simon Grogan, ten year old, ballroom dancer and Strictly Come Dancing expert.

"Now I've seen everyone dance I have come to the conclusion that it is going to be a good competition this year. Zoe Lucker especially surprised me. She did a very good waltz but her rumba was even better. Ali and Brian performed two amazing dances last week, maybe I think the two best dances of that group. Their waltz was very romantic and she looked like she had been dancing for years. I have done the waltz in my dancing lessons and think that the steps are simple but the dance itself has many specific things to perfect, which makes it harder.

Laila and Anton are one of my favourites, from watching SCD from the start, I know that Anton has had many dreadful partners, (not Patsy Palmer she rocked!) It's nice to see Anton having a fantastic partner to dance with at last!!!! I personally think that Laila's best dance was the cha cha cha even though the judges dont agree with me, I thought she did really good new yorks and had nice strong arms. I have high hopes for Laila.

Craig Kelly was my dad's best friend for a long time so I better watch what I say. I thought him and Flavia have a good connection, I especially like the Tango it gave a very interesting twist to the dance which I think is always fun as it makes it more exciting to watch. I was very relieved that Craig went through! So Craig if you are out there and have read this please consider me to be on the guest list ;)

So my best dancers so far are Laila and Anton but I dont mind who wins, they are all brill. The worst dancer was Richard Dunwoody who is now out!

At the moment I am learning the jive and formation cha cha cha. I am hoping to find a dance partner who is the right size for me and who wants to go far in their dancing because I want to be on Strictly one day! I have just got 3 highly commended dances for the quickstep rumba and samba so I am very happy about that!

That's it for me today folks but make sure you look out for more Simon says..."