Thursday 8 August 2019

The who's who of 2019

It's that time of year again! Only it kind of isn't, because we usually like to ease our way past the Bank Holiday and into autumn for Strictly Season, whereas we had the first names out in July! JULY, when we're still worrying about things like SPF and have a vague hope that the nice weather will come. The randomness doesn't stop there, with quite an unusual crop of celebs served up this year, definitely some interesting personalities and a whole field of dark horses. Let the (firmly pre-Christmas) festivities begin!

David James
It's never good to start the series reveal with a "who...? oh yeah, that guy..." Footballers are not our strong suit, but at least he played for England so I must have seen him play in at least one match. Goalkeepers have not fared well on Strictly so far, although Peter Schmichael was a complete LEGEND in his own right, so he has that to live up to in a weird way. At a whopping 6ft4 I don't think he's going to be with Janette, my money is on Nadiya.

Chris Ramsey
I have to say, after the events of last year I was not expecting a stand-up this year! Hopefully this guy will have rhythm; the fact that he is married to professional dancer was quite the revelation. Also, nice Geordie accent, which doesn't really mean anything, unless they're going to make him dance to Fog on the Tyne. I haven't seen much of him before, but he seems affable and will provide suitable fish-out-of-water material.

Emma Barton
Here's our Eastenders signing for the year, complete with tabloid rumours spoiling any sort of surprise. It's fabulous to have the ever-likeable Honey on board though, I bet they're going to make her cha cha to Honey, Honey by ABBA in Movie Week or something. Matt Baker threw her under the ringer bus within 2 minutes of her being announced, which was hilarious, so we will have to see how good she is from the off. I'm currently thinking....Gorka

Saffron Barker
Yes, YouTuber symbolises the ongoing death of civilisation, blah blah blah. Last year's wildcard Joe Sugg worked because was a hardworking young man with natural rhythm, it's just as much of an experiment to see if they can repeat that success this year. She's only 19 and whilst excited, I'm not sure she knows what she's let herself in for. I really hope she gets a pro she can gel with and lean on - or y'know, Anton, just for larfs. She also ran the London Marathon this year, which is pretty impressive and hopefully means she's got a good level of physical fitness.

Catherine Tyldsley
Now here's a classic Strictly signing, even if it took them more than a year to sign her! I still miss her as the brilliant Eva in Corrie, and she'll hopefully come back one day, maybe with a glitterball under her arm? It would totally match one of Eva's outfits and she could sling it on the bar of t'Rovers (why yes, I am available for soap storylines as well as Strictly blogging). She's also Michael Vaughan's second cousin, which means *memorable* dancing is in her blood dah-ling!

Mike Bushell
Even Mike admits that people mistake him for Christ Hollins, which is the sort of self-deprecating line I'm expecting from him throughout the series. He claims to be a dad dancer extraordinaire, but we expected that with Graeme Swann last year and ended up having most fabulous time with him. He's only 5ft 5 so that doesn't leave him with a huge range of female pros to dance with, I think I'm going to take a guess at...Dianne.

Karim Zeroual
I don't know this guy, but since I am not 10 and I don't have any kids of my own I'm not going to moan about it. He seems bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, young and keen and all that jazz. Oh yes, and speaking of all that jazz, he's also a massive ringer, having been to Sylvia Young and starred as Simba in the Lion King among a gaggle of all other shows, roll on Musicals Week!

Emma Weymouth
I mean, there's random, and then there's random. YouTubers with millions of followers don't seem too out there now, do they? 'Member of the gentry' doesn't cut it for most people as a celeb in 2019, although I am looking forward to the Strictly props department's attempts to recreate Longleat Safari Park with some pot plants and stuffed animals. She also looks cracking in a ballgown, so I'm thinking maybe Anton to mix it up a bit for him?

Will Bayley
Will it be the third year in a row we take a Paralympian to our hearts as they try and adapt to performing? Hopefully so, since he jumped on the table after winning gold at Rio 2016, he's not a shrinking violet! The props team are glitterfying a table as we speak. Also, performing shouldn't be too tough for him, since he spent some time doing theatre at the Brits school in his youth. Could be a dark horse this one!

Michelle Visage
The announcement that melted Twitter! I've never watched Drag Race, but I still know who this crazy lady is. I'm kind of hoping for a Nancy Dell'Olio part 2 here, with extra sass and more mouth towards Craig. She's got the legendary voguing background that I'm sure will be deployed to its full extent, and I generally expect to see her having the time of her life. But the big question is who to partner her with? 

Jamie Biscuits
Yeah, his surname might be Laing, but he will forever be Jamie Biscuits, pass the Hobnobs! Now, they managed to get through a whole series without mentioning TOWIE for Mark Wright, but I'm not sure how they'll manage to avoid Made in Chelsea with dear Jamie, they can't really say "famous for flogging sweets". I'm not going to be snotty about him though, he's a good egg and has a history of being suitably self-deprecating on various reality shows. If he applies himself, he could go far. 

Alex Scott
The marvelous England Lionesses can't make it because the football season clashes with Strictly Season (*tsk* who is in charge of these things?) but we've got former teammate Alex to fly the flag for them in style. She's pretty much exactly what you want in a sportsperson contestant, so I will be watching the launch show with a beady eye to check if she actually has any natural talent, she clearly impressed people with her Children in Need stint last year. She might not have much performing experience, but her time as a pundit will hopefully give her more confidence in front of the camera. 

Dev Griffin
I don't have much on this guy, but that's mainly cos I'm an oldie who hasn't listened to Radio One in about a decade, and the last time I watched a Christmas TOTP I kept whining that all the music sounded the same. He seems keen, but with no dancing experience, so it could go either way. Bring me cha chas to 90s pop classics! No dances that involve him wasting time standing behind decks! Possibly some sparkly headphones! We can but dream...

James Cracknell
Ooh it's Olympian time! And from the days when we hardly won anything, kids these days are spoiled with all those medalists, Cracknell always seems like he's full of grit. Rowing is bloody hard work and he seems to do really random things like the row the Atlantic naked (I did not make that up, Google it), so I'm not sure it's going to be a natural transition into this work of spangles. All-important height update: he's 6ft 4!

Anneka Rice
Hear that? It's the sound of 80s kids rejoicing and demanding a spangly catsuit in week 1. Anneka is what we love: a nostalgic camp classic and a massive Strictly superfan, as her numerous appearances on ITT attest. Now I checked, because I had in my head that this woman was statuesquely tall, but she's actually only 5ft 6, so that gives her a fair number of pro dancers to choose from. She also 60 and doesn't look a day older than she did when she was gallivanting around in a helicopter on national TV. Good luck Anneka, I hope you have the time of your life!