As ever, we're just going to whizz through the first dances, since they've done them before, but just to summarise....what the hell were these dance choices about? Were they trying to sabotage everyone to make it fairer? I genuinely don't think anyone wanted to see these dances again.
Exhibit one, Frankie in the death slot doing her worst latin dance, no one cared about this samba. Mark's cha cha actually looked a bit too easy for him, it needed more content for the final! Caroline rocked the golden lampshade once more and delivered her amazing cha cha. Simon probably got the most random choice with his Charleston, but carried off with the vim and vigour we'd all expect, and Kristina's cheapo wig didn't burst into flames!
Personally I quite like the idea of seeing their week one dances. Shows how much they have improved. Or not. This dance really highlighted the fact that Mark was the weaker banana of the bunch, but I can't help but smile watching him dance, so jolly happy he was there. And mostly that Jake-My-Only-Body-Part-Is-A-Hip was not. I think I'm supposed to add #sorrynotsorry to that. I thought all four kicked ass in these somewhat questionable choices, and all showed some improvement on their first performances. Much disappointed Simon didn't do his samba again. I would have loved to have seen him smash it.
Frankie and Kevin
Will Frankie fall off a bench and die? That's what I took from the VT. Plus they said her dress would be a pink dream and it was mainly a horrible nude. The bench bit was actually really underwhelming as they didn't really do a lot while they were up there - while their ballroom content was wonderful. There was more razzmatazz than I was expecting from Frankie, Kevin uses razzes everyone's matazz for them - well done to Frankie for bringing it personality-wise in the final.
This was perky, nimble, classy and cute. All at once. I loved Frankie's Disney-princess dress, and despite the random benchscapades (I didn't get the Sound of Music reference either), this was a bit awesome.
Mark and Karen
I was really excited to see this one, all the elements seemed right to bring out Mark's best - which is basically an over-excited child in go-faster stripes! Someone said it was like putting a mento in a bottle of coke, which I loved. It was a 'traditional' SCD show dance, eg take a latin number and go crazy with it. A befitting ending for the two of them, hard work and sheer joy.
Mark, dressed as a cricketer circa 1974, running around the floor, bobbing about with the odd bit of jive choreography? Fitted him perfectly. Not a worthy winner, but a worthy fourth, and a jolly good sport.
Caroline and Pasha
I can't remember the last time I was so nervous for a showdance, contempo makes me think of the Lisa Snowdon bacofoil disaster. And do you know what? They only went and pulled it off! It had the fluidity of a rumba, it was totes emotes without making us want to vom and the lifts were epic. There was no rolling on the floor! All fears cast aside, well done guys.
Yes, I know had these been packaged as a 'rumba', it would have made me cross, but as the rule of showdance is
Simon and Kristina
This one was the biggest unknown quantity, I had no idea what sort of crazyness Kristina was going to throw at us, it looked like a bit of everything on ITT. And that's what it ended up being, a crazy pile of everything! Including a Bucks Fizz moment to reveal Kristina in the most spangle-tastic dresses ever. Simon's Greatest Hits was a great title for it, I would have expected a bit more control from the two of them, but whatever, it's final night.
More hesitant in parts than I would have liked but major kudos to Kristina for cramming every last bit of ballroom, latin, salsa and charleston choreography into there she could. It really proved that Simon ain't no one trick pony: he's a pony with more tricks than Paul Daniels on a caffeine high. His timing was on point. Loved it.
We're back and the first person to go is....cue ITT-style faces to camera....MARK! Sad to see him go, after all the hard word and the epic j-word, but it probably was the right time. Mark, you've been an all-round good egg and a trouper, we'd have missed you on SCD this year.
Jolly good egg indeed. What's your favourite type of egg? Mine is... scrambled. Mark, you are a scrambled egg of the very best kind.
So here we are with the final three and their last dances. Frankie blew us away with her Paso, I liked it first time around but she really cranked up the fierceness this time around - she's shown so much personality this episode, it's like she finally woken up to the performance aspect. Caroline and Pasha swivelled us to Timbuktu and somehow, Twitter folks, we appear to have slain the extra dancers. And as for Simon's Argentine Tango, oof, that was some serious dancing, it tipped us over the edge to hysteria!
Frankie's Paso was FIERCE. I had started the evening with her as my definite least fave, having not warmed to her at all throughout the previous weeks. However, she brought such vigour to this dance, I tweeted that I would also be happy if she won. This year's contestants have stood out as being delightfully friendly and especially lovely to each other, and Frankie is no exception. I loved seeing Caroline's charleston stripped down to wot-it-should-have-looked-like without the extra baggage of the human props, and it was just as - nay more so - wonderful. At this point, despite loving Simon, I was totes team Flackers. But then that tango. That tango changed everything. It threw me into an existential crisis and I did not know who to go for. My head said Caroline - think of all the tremendous dances she had done. But my heart, my heart went to Simon and that tango. Oh the dilemma!
The returning group number was a delight as ever, great choice of songs this year, although I do like them a little bit more shambolic! Gregg merely handing Aliona a cake was hilarious though, along with Natalie styling it out with her fan and Alison bringing that crazy face back!
Natalie steals any show, doesn't she?
And so, our winner is.....CAROLINE! So very happy with this result: they've been the full package and worked hard to bring us some amazing routines. Also, it's great to see someone win who has wanted it to so much. What a nerve-racking final it's been, but totally worth it!
Great result, and a great finish to the series, which has been questionable in parts. But what a final.