Time to Go Propless

Here we are again, we're totally into our Saturday night SCD routine now, all the way until Christmas people! Sofa, check, Strictly snacks, check, Twitter fired up, check, snarky comments at the ready? Oh yes!

Natalie and Artem

I wanted feathers, not shower pooffes! She's even got one in her hair, they'll never get that out. This was a great routine, proper samba, despite the producers thinking it's Spanish and not Brazilian. I love Natalie's faces as well, enjoying herself to Karen Hardy proportions there! And Artem soldiering on despite the trauma of that shirt, oh and the little matter of the broken nose, it looks like he bled down the front of it actually!

On my protestations about the Spain/Brazil thing, snarks on Twitter said that they were referring to the flamenco theme of the dance when commenting about Spain. But a flamenco-themed samba is about as sensible as a tango-themed jive. Which is obviously not very. On t'other hand, that this had an miniscule oodle (miniscoodle?) of latin flavour made it one of my favourite sambas that has graced the Strictly floor. Could have had a bit more of a natural bounciness perhaps but I spent most of the dance thanking the Gods of Strictly that Artem decided to go propless. 

Abbey and Aljaz

Abbey looks stunning, it's compulsory, Aljaz looks strangely creepy, like a bad-un in an old Hollywood film. Abbey is just brilliant ballroom, she's got real natural grace and style and this was just as good as her others. Obviously, I can't get as excited as I did about the tango cos it's...well...a foxtrot and I only get excited by about 2% of them.

This can't have been an easy track to dance to. But it was nice. And Abbey is just lovely at ballroom isn't she? Frankie. When were you actually excited about a foxtrot? Ever? Is anyone? Answers on a postcard made out to No. One. Ever. 

Dave and Karen

Karen's totally been getting her 5-a-day. I feel like I could see what Karen was trying to do, it could have been hilariously good fun but it seemed hampered by the fact that Dave wasn't really moving that much. It looked like he'd lost his timing at the start and then freaked out and forgot the routine. Karen Hauer on the other hand remains bonkers-ly fabulous.

British style salsa. I wish I were joking. Lilia has now been out-turbanned. 

Deborah and Robin

Robin in a hat alert, how have week got to week five without this?! And how long can they draw out this Dragon's Den joke, I'm sure Deborah doesn't spend all her time wheeling a table around at work. There were about 20 seconds in hold, I didn't actually remember it was a VW until Darcey said it at the end. Thumbs down from me, sorry, thumbs up for the outfits though!

I thought. Really? Are they dancing with a table? But then, I have been known to dance with a book trolley. But I'm not in a dance competition. And with this: so much faffing, bear it, I could not. There were 72 bars in that arrangement. There were only 20 bars danced in hold. That is 27.78% faffing. Now I love Robin but this has got to stop. #stoptheprops

Patrick and Anya

The 'comedy' VTs have finally taken someone down, well done producers! Props to Anya for changing the routine and giving it the fun added element of watching his left hand to see how she could factor it out of every move. Good work on his own, as ever, from Patrick, it's a strange talent. Will he get the sympathy votes through to next week?

Oh woe is the frustration borne from the notion that Patrick actually could have done a decent salsa given a decent track. Oh well. 

Fiona and Anton

Fiona, you did an Anton rumba and your reward is the quickstep and a super-fabulous dress, you have paid your dues my dear. What a delight! Say what you like about Anton, he knows how to bring the quickstep razzmatazz.

Can I forgive props if they are cake. Can I? No. I did think about it though. Thankfully the props were limited to the opening bars. This was classy and she is improving. I think people are voting for Anton as much as Fiona and I think they have a good few more weeks left in 'em. 

Rachel and Pasha

Those costume people really hate Rachel, don't they? And you'd think they'd give her time to dry her hair. Overall, this was a rather awkward paso. She was obviously trying really hard, but that was probably where she went wrong. Her paso face looked like she had a headache and was trying to read some small print.

Hmm. So last week she didn't have a costume and was forced to raid the pound rail in Blackpool Primark. This week wasn't much better. She is such a pretty thing and the stylists (though I'm using the term loosely in this case) appear to be trying to make her look as ridiculous as possible. That can't be helping her confidence. If she's in next week, can she have a happy dance? And a pretty dress? Please? And also, giving a non-actor a 'role' so grossly out of a character is a tad unfair. I don't know if that's Pasha's fault or the producers' but there's is nothing written into the Paso. Doble. Law. saying one has to be gothic and slutty. 

Mark and Iveta

Ooh look, some proper dancing, Iveta I salute you and your quite frankly gorgeous dress. The man has skill and is being given some great choreography. These two are going to go far, no split in the comedy vote situation tonight after a proper routine from these guys and Dave's car crash. Also as a side note, that version of the song by the band seemed better than the original!

Mark is the version of Dave that can actually dance. A straight waltz and it was still good. Iveta. You are marvellous. 

Ashley and Ola

Has this guy not read The Winning Formula? Point two is quit your day job! This weekly routine is going to kill him, at this rate he's going to spend the rumba lying down on the floor for a bit. But despite all that, this was a pretty good jive. Despite moaning on about shoes and playing a pretend guitar. Ola's jive face is so full of glee though, I love it!

Now I appreciate he's busy and Ola's tried to fill the time but no, no. Not enough jive in that jive.

Susanna and Kevin

I am loving these outfits, Susanna's looks like something out of Hairspray and Kevin looks like he's going to give us a tour of Cadbury World. The American Smooth was made for these guys (especially since it's a made-up dance) and you just knew it would be a delight. It didn't knock my socks off, but not every week can bounce, bums and bongos insanity. Once again, fine job you two.

This was so sweet that too much could induce one to vomit. Now, here's something interesting about Kevin from Grimsby. Now I thought everyone loved him. He's joyful. And dressed as Professor Plum. Well no. Salsa-friend-Julia says he's rude for dipping a beginner against her will on first meeting. Rewatch the launch show. She's right. And now I'm confused about my own principles. So thanks Salsa-friend-Julia and Kevin-from-Grimsby, between you, you have created my latest existential crisis. 

Ben and Kristina

Are we now at the stage where we're re-using song choices that were a bad idea first time around? And then it actually pushed Len into his first Messin Abaut rant of the year, but then of course it got sevens. It wasn't that bad, and there was much of the Ben winning smile, but there could have been so much more...

Len has come out of his trance and seen the light. Thank bejesus. This took faffing to the extreme. But if they were given 31 points for Ben standing around doing nothing, like last week, then really, I don't blame them for trying it on this week. #stoptheprops

Sophie and Brendan

I don't care if it's Michael Jackson, I don't think I have ever heard this song before in my life. I didn't think this was going to be Sophie's dance, but then again Brendan doesn't do the kitsch-tastic disco cha cha. I don't know how he managed a haughty cha cha though! As the judges said, technically good but lacking sparkle.

Oh Sophie, stick on some rimmed glasses and do it again. If you're going to dance every dance in a hipster style, at least dress the part. Like her samba, she looked like she was just too cool to be there. It wasn't bad but it's getting a little Groundhog Day. 

Return of the trousers of DOOM

Sophie and Brendan
Oh Sophie, you had us all convinced at the start you were going to be rubbish, how canny were you! There you are with your smashing dress, excellent posture and aloof attitude making fools of us all. An enjoyable foxtrot, I don't know if I can write about Brendan's great choreography every week, or maybe I can? Old school in both dancing and SCD terms. And feathers, you are really spoiling us!

Fiona and Anton
Anton doing a rumba! Alert! Prepare the nation and move those with a sensitive disposition out of the room! Actually, he's dressed quite sensibly for once, no pastel pyjamas or whatever. Can't help but say this was her worst dance so far, but she's doing a rumba with Anton after all, however it wasn't a car crash. Hopefully she'll get through because she's lovely and is having a smashing time.

Mark and Iveta
Iveta is as mad as a box of frogs, isn't she? She choreographs the maddest, maddest routines ever and then dances them perfectly straight, acknowledging her own genius. I could have done with a bit more cha cha in there, it's not like he isn't capable. But the routine was executed perfectly and his timing and synchronisation are there as always. Bring on next week!

Ashley and Ola
Another grinding change of gears this week, to the floatiest of Viennese Waltzes. I hate this song, it's up there with You Raise Me Up in the vom-stakes. But whatever, it was lovely, there was a nice frock and turn upon turn upon turn. Job done.

Julien and Janette
Are we running out of crazy manic dances for Julien to do? When I was 14 I probably would have killed for Janette's tinsel-tastic dress. I somehow got over the fact the song has been used about 658 times before and thought he didn't actually do that badly. Technically all over the place, but he did look like he was doing a dance and not just randomly running around. I think I've come to the conclusion dancing with Janette is a problem, she's just too good at everything!

Rachel and Pasha
Well, I might be a horrible person, but I can't be the only one pointing and laughing at Rachel's outfit. Trousers of DOOM! Now I know I said last week she needed new hair, but there was no need to turn her into a completely different person! We know Pasha can do a smashing quickstep, but I think he made this one a bit hard for her, way too many tricks. And a comedy hat, and I do love a hat.

Ben and Kristina
Ah, so that's where this week's male pastel outfit went, totally appropriate for a salsa...After last week's surprisingly good rumba, hopes are high....and it wasn't awful. He was more rhythmical and lively than I expected. But then again, he wasn't doing much dancing! Props to Kristina for covering it pretty well and putting some amazing lifts in, but hardly any dancing!

Deborah and Robin
Robin's wig! Robin's trousers! Deborah running along behind him dressed like something from Grease and ending up looking like Liz MacDonald from Corrie! It was never going to be her dance, but it was just...weird. Give her a nice ballroom dance next week!

Natalie and Artem
This woman had an epidural to go on SCD, that is seriously hardcore! I read they were doing this song and thought WTF, it's the worst song ever, but wow what a great version. Artem is a genius. Whoever made Natalie wear those floaty trousers is cruel, she has a dodgy back, she's suffered enough!

Patrick and Anya
Gosh, some latin dancing and no props, who would've thunk?! I did mainly come away from it thinking how amazing Anya was, but Patrick was totally strutting his stuff. Might get lost in the crazyness of this week but it was definitely his best dance.

Abbey and Aljaz
Someone's done the week wrong and done Abbey's Halloween makeup, she looks really scary! But once the theatrics started and she turned into SCD's answer to Kate Bush I actually loved it. I usually don't like 'modern' songs for tango music but this totally worked, it was so atmospheric. Innovative but not for the sake of it, She's obviously better at ballroom and it was a cracking routine, what a treat!

Dave and Karen
Well, there had to come a week when even Karen's evil genius skills couldn't stretch to a comedy routine and this was actually a waltz. They're such a good time and it's good to see them working hard. Len is actually right, the only failure in Strictly is the failure to try, I could write a whole blog post on that. My only concern is the comedy vote might be split between Dave and Mark. And then where would we be?

Susanna and Kevin
I can't believe how insane this was and I still loved it! Susanna's been hit with Homer Simpson's make-up gun and her hair can be seen from space, but who cares, Kevin's got his specs on and they're having the time of their lives. Yeah, it wasn't the most technically amazing samba but they gave it such gusto and were doing actual steps (unlike some other people) that I'll let it pass. 

Where is the Luuurve?

So apparently it's luuuurve week. Well, we've been calling it that for a while to emphasise the pure the ridiculousness of this. But let us steel ourselves, this doesn't look like a theme of Halloween proportions - in fact it just looks like they've bought some crepe paper and heart-shaped balloons!

Has David Cameron personally sanctioned this pro-marriage agenda?

Abbey and Aljaz

Well, this isn't the sweeping romantic epic I was expecting from lurve week, jives aren't the most delicate of things! Cute outfit and song choice though, Abbey looks so much like Sienna Miller! Hilarious use of the sitting down gimmick 'look, I'm doing the legs, honest!'. She threw herself into it, but it was her least technically good dance so far, but the poor thing did have to do it in hideous under-the-knee-socks that even a model can't make look good.

Abbey didn't even look like Abbey. And the jive is so tricky for the twiglet-limbed. Although nothing wrong with her timing or musicality, this did come across as a tad ungainly and Bambi-like. Great song though. And Alijaz Does Scouse is my new favourite thing. Campaign for segment on ITT. 


Patrick and Anya

Now this smooth pile of smoothie-ness was what I was expecting from lurve week! And if you squint a bit you can pretend Anya is Lilia. There was serious gapping, and an entertaining interlude where he tottered about on his toes cos he did something wrong. Not as odd as last week, but still not doing much to grab the public's attention...

Great to see a little character from Patrick but this was grossly overmarked. Perhaps the the judges got swept away on the cloud of poofiness that was Anya's dress. At times it felt as though he were just sauntering through the street on a sunny Sunday. That does not a foxtrot make. But foxtrot. It is the worst of the trots. But they just aren't doing it for me. Challenge to change my mind. 


Dave and Karen

We knew this one was going to wake things up a little bit. There was capework, there was a mullet dress, there were funny faces - all key things for a paso. Unfortunately, there was also a lot of stompy walking.

Better eye-catching and manic than forgettable and boring. See above. Dave's not a dancer but my lord, he can olé. Nice touch at the end there. Made me forget about the actual dancing. Or lack thereof. 

Fiona and Anton

I really need everyone to stop talking about Anton's trouser incident last week, it makes me feel a bit queasy. Speaking of clothing, those are the worst crimes of sleeves against older women for a long time. Obviously their best dance so far, if Anton can't teach you to waltz then you might as well go home and watch the X Factor. And we wouldn't wish that on anyone.

I liked this and I'm liking this couple. Quite unexpected from someone who has been casually plotting Anton's demise for the past three series. I jest. Frankie's right though: if Anton can't teach you a waltz, you might as well pack your bags and head to, I don't know, somewhere random and insignificant. Hull? (Apologies to any readers from Hull. I stabbed my finger at Google Maps.) This was twee, but pretty and Fiona dressed as a sugared almond could have looked worse. 

Rachel and Pasha

Are we just picking any random song with love in the title? Maybe without a soulless dance tune this could have had some fun in it, and a cha cha needs fun by the bucketload. Rachel needs to improve her facial expressions, she's not with the dance, she's going through the routine in her head. Again, a bit tentative and stiff, give her some ballroom.

Cautious and steppy, cha cha wasn't Rachel's dance. Len and I were not watching the same thing. I did not see straight legs. If I could have been able to put my hand on a protractor (I have not seen once since I sat my maths GCSE in 2000) I would have liked to measure the angle of her knees. Which didn't change for much of the dance. She's not yet at ease with the performance aspect (Pasha, get her to an acting class. Matt Dawson Effect. Matt Dawson Effect.) but she is clearly enjoying the experience and I have no doubt she will improve. Let's hope it's sooner rather than later.

Mark and Iveta

After last week's festival of bonkerness my hopes were high this would be good. And it was, Mark can dance and I feel like Iveta knows what she's doing. Not crazy-wow-jazz-hands, but still telling a story. As a side note, I picked this song for MY American Smooth dream SCD scenario about five years ago, so it was a touch traumatic seeing someone else get to dance it. Yes, I am insane really.

Mark is a Lisa Riley, not a John Sergeant. He is a true entertainer but he can also dance. Thing is though, he is likely to get comedy scores from the judges rather than them noticing the fact that he's dancing. His steps were not steppy, they were swingy, just like anything in the American Smooth style should be. And he is clearly in the hands of an expert. I very much doubt he's our winner but he's a surefire mid to late serieser. 

NB. I was with Frankie when she discovered this song choice. The reaction was quite shrill. But I think she was secretly pleased. 

Ben and Kristina

Is this a case of getting the awkward dance out of the way as soon as possible? Then again, I'm not looking forward to the idea of Ben doing a jive either. But, what a surprise, I think this might have been his best dance - who would've thunk?! He didn't look like he was painfully just trying to get his way through it. There were extensions and lines and everything. Gosh.

Three things. He's got the rumba out the way. He danced it well. He's just delicious. For me, Ben is the archetypal journey contestant. If he carries on, I smell final. 

Sophie and Brendan

Following the epic-cynicism-shattering-Charleston-of-delights was going to be hard, especially with a samba. And in a dress that looks like one of those sticky-paper mosaics you make in primary school. It wasn't going to be blow-your-socks off, but it was jam-packed with content, as Brendan always does. Bit sloppy in the footwork, but it's a week three samba ffs!

Sophie danced this samba in an ironic, nonchalant, you'll-always-find-me-in-the-kitchen-in-Ikea-commercials way. And it sort of worked. Despite the fact she was dressed as the little plastic puzzle you get in a Christmas cracker. We were promised feathers. There weren't enough feathers. I want Rio! I want carnival! Nice content and not bad dancing at all. I reiterate: I can't wait for her quickstep. She's still in the running for me.  

Julien and Janette

So this is their latin pattern; Janette does some rather good dancing while Julien yelps around in the background? Actually, that's a bit mean, it probably was his best. It's a hyper-jumping around dance, it's kinda made for him! But doubt it will be enough to save him from the bottom two...

Julien is a cross between a battery operated puppy and Louie Spence. It wasn't good enough. It wasn't bad enough. Danger zone. Shame for Janette we are not getting to see more of what she can do as we would if she had a good partner. Such an improvement though: Julien's timing is fine and he looks like such a happy little elf when dancing. It's almost endearing.

Susanna and Kevin Grimsby

...and all of a sudden we're back in lurve week! I had pretty much forgotten about it. But hurrah for a romantic song, sweeping dress and, y'know, some proper dancing. Len said fleckerl, thank heavens for that! Loving, loving, loving these two, including Susanna pulling a properly shocked face when she got two nines.

Kevin has achieved cult status in the space of three weeks. A marvel. And what a lovely dance. Susanna is a great dancer but she's also accessible. It she doesn't make at least the semi-finals, I will eat my Moomin pyjamas. 

Vanessa and James

Vanessa appears to have come as a My Little Pony. And I could not take me eyes off her head for the whole time, the comedy facial expressions and the way she just randomly swiveled it round were hilarious. But a half-decent routine, even with the high kicks from the John Cleese school of choreography.

Don't go wasting your emotions. I can't see this partnership lasting much longer. Together, they don't make a likeable team. Furthermore, Vanessa was wearing a sausage roll on her head. It wasn't horrendous, but she came across as a little too pleased with herself. We are British. Self-deprecate or be gone. 

Ashley and Ola

Well that came out of nowhere! I get the feeling this is what they wanted all the lurve week routines to be like: pink and red, smoochy song, open shirt, saucy dancing. Thankfully it's only this one and it's a good one!

Ooh. In terms of technique, samba is probably even harder for a male celeb to get than rumba. I was not expecting this to be so good, but good it was. Ola looked delighted in a Camilla-when-Gethin-did-salsa way. 

Natalie and Artem

Sorry, is this week three? That was not a week three rumba, that was a semi-final pulling-out-all-the-stops-to-get-to-the-final rumba. I didn't really like the song choice, but it was acted so well and the routine was so fitting that I got over it. And woo for the snake slithering round someone's leg move! And hairography!

I beg to differ. I liked the song choice very much. This was stunning. She dances from her core in a way we haven't seen since Rachel Stevens had her breakthrough rumba. Natalie is in for the long haul. Can anyone catch her? 

Deborah and Robin

Not the obvious contender for the pimp slot, but there you go. And that is a proper dress for the older lady, unlike poor Fiona. Good work from Deborah, but felt like she was trying to keep up with Robin, which is often the way with a quickstep. Keep smiling Deborah, it's wonderful to see someone having such a good time!

This was jolly good fun and as always Robin got the very best out of his partner. She is so much more likeable than Vanessa and her enjoyment shows. I hope her scores only get higher and higher. See what I did there? *Groan* It's the end of the post and I'm out of steam. 

Brendan Cole: King of Charleston

We're limbering up, putting on sparkly sweatbands and stretching our typing fingers because it's time for the Marathon episode of SCD. All 15 couples are hitting the dance floor tonight for your viewing pleasure, even if it does mean we're writing a scroll button-melting blog post tonight. Brace yourselves, we're in for the long haul.

And no Bruce tonight! Tess seems to be wearing something nice too, it's a very odd week!

Susanna and Kevin Grimsby

I love these two, they're just having a ridiculously good time and somehow not making us not want to vomit along the way. The curse of the dreadful tango music seems to have returned this series, but actually after about 10 seconds I didn't really care. Again a great routine from Mr Grimsby, packed with content, I can forgive a few frantic moments. An unexpected one to watch, and not just to see if they're going to wee themselves with excitement.

He who shalt always be known as Kevin from Grimsby. Oh I do so hope he doesn't mind. I am starting to like this pair very much and this dance was good, despite the music being as near to the mood of tango as Slipknot are to a Viennese Waltz. We have seen many a week two tango and many have left us traumatised, nay, even, begging to be thrown to the hounds of hell. This, not bad. Ones to watch, my friends, ones to watch.

Aliona and Tony

Strictly golf wear? I guess they've go to fill the time before he's voted off somehow. A Charleston on the other hand was not really the way to go, although, what latin would he really want to do? But then again, he hardly busted a gut! It's one thing to bring your day job into it when you're an Olympic gymnast, not when you're a golfer.

Team Toniona. Which sounds like Italian foodstuff. And she clearly was enjoying dancing with the golf club at the beginning more than she enjoyed dancing with poor Tony. Let's face it, the older dude never has much chance anyway, but paired with someone who gives off the vibe of not giving a do-si-do about the entire thing? I'll eat my pyjamas if we see him dancing next week. 

Natalie and Russia's Greatest Love Machine

Brace yourselves, Artem is in a velvet smoking jacket. These two look Oscar-worthy. Bit too much out of hold at the start but since they were so good when they got into hold I think I'll let that one pass. I thought she looked a bit nervous at the start, but that was quickly forgotten.

Goosebumpingly good. We can't see the lack of heel lead with those swooping cameras but I remember Kelly Brook being told off for the same thing. You know, back in the day. Actually, back in that day, Artem would have been chastised for the gross lack of hold at the beginning of the routine. It really is a case of anything goes these days isn't it? Which does nark the old Strictly purist in me. But in terms of costume, music and performance, it was magic.

Dave and Karen

Well this wasn't really what I was expecting, it wasn't manic enough! I just KNEW there would be a kitchen sketch, which was pretty cute and liked the Desperate Housewives pastiche but the whole thing was a bit slow. Karen, we expect bonkerness every week now, bring on the latin again! And Craig, if there was ever a time to use the word spatulistic...

Most efficient prop use ever. Let's do some lifts. Darn, he can't lift me off the floor. Excellent! Chef! Restaurant! CHAIR! Busted by Darcey though. I thought that was genius. Evil genius. 

Patrick and Anya

Curse of the rubbish tango music part 2. The existentialist angst wind-up doll opening and closing bits were odd, was the slightly robotic tango the reason for it? That eternal question: why? I'm musing about this because I got bored halfway through, sorry guys.

There's a fine line between a tango face and a crazed psychopath face. Patrick fell slightly towards the latter. What was the story? Patrick is a doll - a slightly warped version of Truly Scrumptious in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - that comes alive, marches Anya around, then she becomes the doll at the end? I am so, so, so confused. Was it a wind up? Boom boom. 

Deborah and Robin

Like Susanna, Deborah just seem to be having such a good time you can't help but like her. And as for that intro, I think that was what James was trying to do last week? It was a cha cha and well done to Robin for not making it all about him but a dance between the two of them. Technically a bit sloppy, but it's still early days and the woman has skill.

I love seeing a cha cha so basic I recognise some of the steps from my less-than-a-year-of-ballroom-classes. She's trying. She's enjoying. Robin is lovely. I like Deborah. But that's all.

Rachel and Pasha

Is it compulsory that Rachel is going to have hair like a 1950s barbie doll every week? I don't mind it for ballroom but it looks prim for latin. She did all the steps, but I could see terror in her eyes behind her 'I'm having soooo much fun everyone!' expression. Clover will now tell you there's no such thing as THE salsa...

I was going to say I'm not commenting on salsa until they show something that resembles salsa. Pasha however is one of the pros who does tend to choreograph something more akin to salsa than most. So the moves, yes, I've seen worse. But this was a tad apprehensive and ungainly - and the music was ridiculous. Rachel is not a performer though and that's a whole other level to break through, as well as the dance skill. She has the most potential for a journey. Pasha, get her to acting classes. The Matt Dawson effect. Do it. 

Vanessa and James

Well James actually bothered to choreograph a proper routine this week, well done. I knew she'd be better in hold with a slower routine, it's obvious. Fairly bog standard week one waltz, which could save her, or make her not interesting enough to stay in.

This was like toast with no topping. It was there. It was tolerable. 

Julien and Janette

Janette is wearing a goth gypsy wedding loo roll cover, as you do. Is it supposed to be Strictly couture? Julien on the other hand is the world's campest WWF wrestler. I kind of enjoyed it as a spectacle, the song actually worked somehow, but the main thing I came away with was that Janette is an amazing tango dancer. If the point of it wasn't supposed to be Julien learning to dance then it might have been a success.

Did they let Julien design the dress?

Fiona and Anton

Anton is doing a latin dance, prepare yourselves! Actually, I think this was Anton's best latin dance in years, oh, are we supposed to be talking about Fiona? The woman has style and a great stage presence, it was going pretty well until she went wrong and then just looked endearingly manic. Biggest LOL of the night for Anton starting the dance sitting on a chair for a bit.

Is Anton redeeming himself a little? Is he taking latin a little more seriously? I'm quite enjoying this partnership and I never in a besquillion years thought I'd be saying that. She did recover from the mistake. Not as flamboyantly as Pamela did that time. But it's hard to pick it up when you've gone wonky. 

Mark and Iveta

My eyes, I think I'm going to get motion sickness when those outfits start moving...Was quite interested to see how this turned out after last week's surprisingly-good-despite-comedy-tango. Genius song choice, the band were loving it! This was a properly delirious dance, god knows what dance it was supposed to be. Iveta on the other hand was just doing some amazing dancing on the sides in an almost nonchalant fashion. There's timing, energy and musicality in there, make sure there's content too!

Mibble. His timing is spot on though. 

Sophie and Brendan

Non-gurning Charleston alert! Genius choreography, perfect gymnastics, sparkly champagne! Twitter exploded, there was shrieking in the F household, proper SCD excitement. Sophie is looking spangle-tastic too, apart from the random pink eye makeup that makes her look like she's got an eye infection. Bring it on.

Joyous. Brendan is now the King of Charleston. This dance really suited Sophie. I am looking forward to her quickstep. 

Ben and Kristina

Well after the excitement of the Charleston this was a clanging change of gears. Ben did seem to have something on the ceiling that was fascinating him throughout, but he was obviously terrified. And towering over Kristina, they even piled her hair up on her head to try and make up the gap. He's not going anywhere for a few weeks, let's see if he can loosen up.

Do they have Kristina's height down wrong? Two years in a row she's been given someone too tall. However, the difference isn't as big as it was with Colin Salmon. And Ben reminds me of Goughie. Which I like. 

Abbey and Alijaz

The word I keep coming back to when describing that dance is 'functional'. She did all the steps and pretty well, but there was no personality in it. There were points between steps when she looked blank. I could see it was technically good, but I really wasn't feeling it. 

Thought she'd be a ballroom gal. This week was always going to be a downer on the top-of-the-leaderboard waltz. She needs to commit - yes COMMIT - to the moves. There were moments when she really got into it - eyes, teeth, flare. But much of it was kinda just walking around. Dance by numbers. She does have potential though, just a little more work needed on being out of Alijaz's arms. 

Ashley and Ola

Ola's hair looks like a giant seashell, but she's in a spanglicious Ola Jordan ballroom dress so who cares. This was too good for someone who had only done it about three times or whatever. That's probably natural talent there, although I get the feeling he's more comfortable out of hold than in. Good ending to the longest of shows!

What is there to say? It was lovely. But this has been a long show, and a long blog, and I have actually run out of 

*Zzzzzzzzz.*