Dress Dis-arrr-sters and Dancing Dilemmas

All in all I thought last night was a tad disappointing. Several ridiculous music choices, bad costumes and crazy comments and scores from the judges made for an all-round near farce.

Clover's the main text this week as Frankie is probably stuck on a train somewhere at the moment...I'm sure she'll be adding the purple soon.

And here I am, free from the train and ready to comment on last night's utter random-ness...

Rachel and Vincent
In a night of hideous, yes hideous, costumes, this one stood out as being one of the most flattering - but so conservative. Rachel probably is holding back - she's not the confident little minx we thought she'd be and this performance and routine was just meh. So what? But this does make me like her more and I'd love to see her have a crack at the Paso next week.

I agree it was a disappointing performance, but I'm sure going first on such a hard week was part of it. I also rather liked her wiggle at the end!

Lisa and Brendan
I'm warming to Lisa a lot. She genuinely does lack confidence and she's genuinely concerned about the public's perception of her. Ok, Ok, she's genuine (note, she's not Kelly Schmuck...oops, I mean Brook). Lovely performance too. But 35 points? Ludicrous scoring AGAIN. Did they not see her posture and hold? At times she had her chesticles glued to Brendan as though he were covered in Uhu. If this happens again next week I'll start crying conspiracy.

Ditto on warming to Lisa and top points for the use of the word 'chesticles'!

Heather and Brian
Not good. And what was with the hair? Overall, much like The Three Degrees: barely lukewarm.

The Afro was the most interesting thing about it really, plus I was very disappointed on the colour of the dress. What was it not neon pink or turquoise or something!? I somehow have yet to warm to Heather and I think its the same for Brian, I just don't care.

Cherie and James
Craig, quit it with the niggles. This was better than Lisa and Brendan's - well it should have been and if it wasn't I blame the music. American Smooth isn't so much a dance as it is a STYLE of dance and with a style of dance there is a style of music. Stick to it and regardless of how bad you are, the audience will get caught up in the performance. Unless you're called Kate Garraway, I guess.

I agreed with Craig, just to be awkward, you got the impression James just didn't want to do an American Smooth. As much as I love the song it was not right at all and the choreography just seemed to be a repeat of her rumba posturing. Plus the dress was just odd odd odd.

Austin and Erin
Blah. What a shame. He looked like he was concentrating too much, that's all. Samba is tricky and it looked like a rotten routine to accomplish. I don't blame Erin for that (seriously, I don't...I'm coming over all soft...) because if I were her I'd have pushed him too. He'll be back to Viennese Waltz with a vengeance next week. Hopefully not too much though...it is a waltz after all.

I know you want to blame Erin really. Like James I get the feeling she didn't want to do a samba so made the routine rather odd. Nice to see he isn't going to be teacher's pet a la Ms Bunton though.

Don and Lilia
Don is the very definition of introvert and, like Arlene, I saw him smile at the beginning at the routine and it made me smile and I thought 'hurrah!' and then he started thinking again - why do we have contestants with brains? - and it all became a little washed out. A possibility for the dance off but I truly hope he doesn't leave.

Well, I've just watched the results show...and was quite sad to see him go. I thought the dance was very sweet, probably to do with the endearing naffness of Barry Mannilow, and that he really had put the effort in. Nice frock too Lilia, well done, it was a tough week for dresses but you held your place at the top once more!

Mark and Hayley
Hayley's dress was the most hideous thing I've ever seen in my whole life. I've watched horror movies and been less repulsed. And poor Mark...it was like watching Herman Munster trying to bat a fly from upon his nose. Kudos for spirit, however.

Every week I get the feeling there is less and less chance of Mark doing a final showdance in his swimming trunks. Hopefully a nice Viennese Waltz next week will help him regain control of those wildly flailing limbs.

Andrew and Ola
Are the Jordans having a competition this year to see who can use the most inappropriate song? I admit, sometimes a risk really, really works...but most of the time, no, and especially with a dance like the American Smooth. Part of its appeal is in the glamour and part of the glamour is in the music. Unlike Cherie's, Andrew's dancing couldn't save the routine.

I didn't think it was the most inappropritate song choice of the night, but yes, it should have been saved for a tango or something. After a promising start Andrew seems to have wandered into Dad Dancing territory and I don't think anything is going to bring him back sadly. Saying that, he has not humiliated himself like Fiona and Kate.

Christine and Matthew

I really liked this and I think it's because Christine's beaming smile just suited the Samba so much. It was nowhere near perfect but the music was appropriate, the costume bright and cheerful (though conservative AGAIN - and with hideous sleeves) and the dancing competent enough to make it an all round jolly good show.

Christine was indeed one of the few contestants that seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself and I think it added a lot to her dance. But yes, I spent most of the time shouting 'Sleeeeeves?! Why?!' to myself. Where were the feathers? The entire POINT of a samba is that you get to prance around with feathers on your bum!

Jodie and Ian
I think this one might have been my favourite - just because it was so unexpected. Jodie is extremely cool and this dance was lovely. GREAT song and very classy routine.

And what's more, I don't think they mentioned that she was tall once!

John and Kristina

I can't help but smile at these two. They are so cute. The routine made me smile too despite my head telling me that it was awful- oh, and it was so, so bad - my heart was just going awwwww!

It does indeed defy all logic, but I also thought Kristina did a good job in choosing a song that wasn't too quick and some cute choreography. Please give him the Viennese Waltz next week, I don't think I am quite prepared for John doing a Paso!

Tom and Camilla
Did you know Tom is getting married on Sunday? Really? Had you not heard? Ha ha. Oh I joke because I don't care. This was great (BETTER than Lisa and Brendan's so what was the scoring about, eh?) The only thing that disappointed me was that this was the prime (yet kitsch) opportunity to use the track 'Get Me to the Church on Time' from My Fair Lady. What a waste!

That would have been a step too far on the kitsch-o-meter I think. But best dance of the night all the same, even with Camilla being forced to wear a scary trouser-based outfit!

One last thing: was Arlene drunk?

Yes, as we have commented before she is slowly turning into Karen from Will and Grace.