Return of the trousers of DOOM

Sophie and Brendan
Oh Sophie, you had us all convinced at the start you were going to be rubbish, how canny were you! There you are with your smashing dress, excellent posture and aloof attitude making fools of us all. An enjoyable foxtrot, I don't know if I can write about Brendan's great choreography every week, or maybe I can? Old school in both dancing and SCD terms. And feathers, you are really spoiling us!

Fiona and Anton
Anton doing a rumba! Alert! Prepare the nation and move those with a sensitive disposition out of the room! Actually, he's dressed quite sensibly for once, no pastel pyjamas or whatever. Can't help but say this was her worst dance so far, but she's doing a rumba with Anton after all, however it wasn't a car crash. Hopefully she'll get through because she's lovely and is having a smashing time.

Mark and Iveta
Iveta is as mad as a box of frogs, isn't she? She choreographs the maddest, maddest routines ever and then dances them perfectly straight, acknowledging her own genius. I could have done with a bit more cha cha in there, it's not like he isn't capable. But the routine was executed perfectly and his timing and synchronisation are there as always. Bring on next week!

Ashley and Ola
Another grinding change of gears this week, to the floatiest of Viennese Waltzes. I hate this song, it's up there with You Raise Me Up in the vom-stakes. But whatever, it was lovely, there was a nice frock and turn upon turn upon turn. Job done.

Julien and Janette
Are we running out of crazy manic dances for Julien to do? When I was 14 I probably would have killed for Janette's tinsel-tastic dress. I somehow got over the fact the song has been used about 658 times before and thought he didn't actually do that badly. Technically all over the place, but he did look like he was doing a dance and not just randomly running around. I think I've come to the conclusion dancing with Janette is a problem, she's just too good at everything!

Rachel and Pasha
Well, I might be a horrible person, but I can't be the only one pointing and laughing at Rachel's outfit. Trousers of DOOM! Now I know I said last week she needed new hair, but there was no need to turn her into a completely different person! We know Pasha can do a smashing quickstep, but I think he made this one a bit hard for her, way too many tricks. And a comedy hat, and I do love a hat.

Ben and Kristina
Ah, so that's where this week's male pastel outfit went, totally appropriate for a salsa...After last week's surprisingly good rumba, hopes are high....and it wasn't awful. He was more rhythmical and lively than I expected. But then again, he wasn't doing much dancing! Props to Kristina for covering it pretty well and putting some amazing lifts in, but hardly any dancing!

Deborah and Robin
Robin's wig! Robin's trousers! Deborah running along behind him dressed like something from Grease and ending up looking like Liz MacDonald from Corrie! It was never going to be her dance, but it was just...weird. Give her a nice ballroom dance next week!

Natalie and Artem
This woman had an epidural to go on SCD, that is seriously hardcore! I read they were doing this song and thought WTF, it's the worst song ever, but wow what a great version. Artem is a genius. Whoever made Natalie wear those floaty trousers is cruel, she has a dodgy back, she's suffered enough!

Patrick and Anya
Gosh, some latin dancing and no props, who would've thunk?! I did mainly come away from it thinking how amazing Anya was, but Patrick was totally strutting his stuff. Might get lost in the crazyness of this week but it was definitely his best dance.

Abbey and Aljaz
Someone's done the week wrong and done Abbey's Halloween makeup, she looks really scary! But once the theatrics started and she turned into SCD's answer to Kate Bush I actually loved it. I usually don't like 'modern' songs for tango music but this totally worked, it was so atmospheric. Innovative but not for the sake of it, She's obviously better at ballroom and it was a cracking routine, what a treat!

Dave and Karen
Well, there had to come a week when even Karen's evil genius skills couldn't stretch to a comedy routine and this was actually a waltz. They're such a good time and it's good to see them working hard. Len is actually right, the only failure in Strictly is the failure to try, I could write a whole blog post on that. My only concern is the comedy vote might be split between Dave and Mark. And then where would we be?

Susanna and Kevin
I can't believe how insane this was and I still loved it! Susanna's been hit with Homer Simpson's make-up gun and her hair can be seen from space, but who cares, Kevin's got his specs on and they're having the time of their lives. Yeah, it wasn't the most technically amazing samba but they gave it such gusto and were doing actual steps (unlike some other people) that I'll let it pass.