Sunday 15 September 2019

The Winning Formula - Version 11!

I'm now past a decade of trying to predict the Strictly winner via this scientific formula, and just to stat off with a not-so-humble brag, it managed to identify Stacey as a potential winner last year, plus Joe as a finalist! There must be something in this, I keep telling myself, so let's get down to it for 2019.

11 is also apparently your steel anniversary, so imagine me doing a Blue Steel pout as I work out the potential winners and losers for this series...

1) Get the party started
This is the time of year when I nervously try and remember who danced first on the opening show, because statistically they have a better chance than anyone of getting to the final. Alas, it was Danny, and what's more the stakes were raised by them smooshing everyone back into one opening show rather than giving me the escape-route option of two week one shows. Saying that, we were all expecting Danny to go further than he did, so I still hold that there is mileage in this variable - so whoever is out first on Saturday they need to bring it!

2) Quit your day job
Doing Strictly and something else clearly doesn't mix, I still have images in my head of poor Kellie Bright being shuffled around BBC studios in the back of a people carrier in the middle of the night like some sort of hostage. Last year Stacey was able to take time off from meeting literal hostages and similar, so let's hope others can do so too. Mike also has the random advantage of being a BBC newsreader (the only job winners are able to simultaneously hold down for some reason), I wonder if that extends to football punditry for Alex? I can only assume Honey is being written out of Eastenders for a bit (that girl has major heartache on the horizon), whereas Michelle could easily forget which pile of sparkle she's in if she's doing Drag Race UK at the same time!

3) Blondes don't have more fun
Forget the blondes for a second, all hail our first ginger winner! I never thought I'd see the day *tear*sob*sigh* Alas, no ginger contestants this year, but we do have Neil being upgraded, hurrah! The curse of blondes never winning Strictly continues apace though, with Stacey pipping Clare and Ashley last year, and there are only two blonde contestants this year. Anneka and Saffron may be out, and what's more, poor limping Jamie Biscuits got replaced with dark-haired Kevin. Maybe Catherine deliberately replaced Eva Price's trademark blonde locks to stand more of a chance...?

4) Latin fever
Kevin finally won last year, and whilst he clearly has ballroom kudos, his Burn the Floor history suggests Latin is more of his bag specialism-wise. Joanne remains our exception to the rule and she's still busy being a full-on musical theatre dah-ling, so I don't think she'll be back soon. I'm really enjoying that we've had three pros upgraded to the main show this year, can't wait to see them flex their choreography muscles. Although these guys all specialise in Latin, so once again Anton is flying the flag for those ballroom pros. Will he be able to pull it together for Emma B and at least make the final again?

5) Age is more than a number
After the revolutionary smashing of the 40 barrier with Joe McFadden winning Strictly at the ripe old age of 42, we got back to business as usual with Stacey winning at 31 last year, British public you are so fickle. Like last year we have 9 out of 15 under 40 in the cast, and I don't want to hear all series about how Saffron is a toddler for being 19 - Louisa Lytton was 17, have a sense of history! Anneka, David, James, Michelle and Mike have their work cut out, but Emma B is at that magic age, 42, so maybe it's a sign...

6) Embrace the sparkle!
We know that Strictly is all about the j-word, and a key part of that is letting it take over your life until you're a rich shade of mahogany and your feet are fleckerl-ing as you sleep. The British public loves to see someone throw themselves in and emerge spanglified and insisting they will keep dancing every week for the rest of their lives. We've got your classic reluctant dads in James and David this year, but also your over-excited candidates like Will and Dev, plus Strictly superfans like Emma B and Anneka. It's always fabulous to watch someone have a sequin-heavy life-changing experience, and even better when it's a surprise. 

So here is that all-important equation once again, and our predicted finalists for 2019...

Dance first - day job + brunette x latin pro - 40 years old + sparkle = winner!

Alex
Catherine
Chris
Emma W
Karim

As ever, the first dancer on the opening show will be added to the list - in the meantime, let us know what you think and vote in our poll! Roll on Saturday night!

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