Thursday, 30 September 2010

The Winning Formula - revisited!

As we rub our hands together with glee waiting for the new spangle-tastic series of SCD to beging tomorrow I thought it was time to revisit last year's Winning Formula post. The formula stood up to some scrutiny last year, even if our poll didn't - I am looking at all you people who thought Joe Calzaghe was going to win! This year's poll suggests Jimi Mistry or Matt Baker might just grab that glitterball, but we know better when it comes to this perfectly calculated set of variables...

So who will win this year...let us find out!

1) Get the party started
This was one of the most fascinating and steadfast rules of SCD, dance first in the opening show and you will make it to the final. Unfortunately last year managed to ruin that! Whilst the blame cannot be entirely placed on Rav Wilding or Natalie Cassidy it has made me a bit grumpy for the rest of the year. The dance first formula even worked on Let's Dance for Comic Relief BOTH years! So whoever dances first this year, I have my eye on you...

2) Quit your day job
Another variable that needs a bit of fine shall now be known as 'Quit your day job, unless you are a BBC newsreader'. Since Natasha and Chris are the only two to win the show whilst doing a day job there must be something super-steely and hardworking about those who hang out in the BBC newsroom. Now Scott Malsen, you may think auntie beeb is doing you a favour shifting your filming around, but I think Jack Branning needs to take a few weeks off from Albert Square if you're gonna go all the way!

3) Blondes don't have more fun
Yet again last year the blonde was pipped to the post, hot favourite and blonde Ali Bastion does not make the final *tear*sob*sigh*, in fact she came third, as did Emma Bunton and Zoe Ball. Spooky? No, it's spangly scientific fact. Plus one of our favourite blonde pro dancers Katya has gone to brunette this year, she knows what she's doing! As for this year's people, Tina, Felicity, Pamela and Patsy had better consider a trip to the hairdressers before the semi-finals!

4) Latin Fever
Our darling Ola kept up the tradition of latin experts winning the show last year, so what chance do Anton, Erin and Natalie stand? Well, as Clover would say, Erin and Natalie will be trapped in a Bond Girl-style battle of wills all series so that will be quite distracting for them. Anton on the other hand...well if anyone wants to see Ann Widdecombe do the Argentine Tango and a spectacular showdance get voting tomorrow night!

5) Embrace the sparkle!
Ah my favourite of all variables, getting down to some serious sparkle! As a celeb you are used to a glamorous lifestyle but when it comes to SCD you aint seen nothing yet. Lock yourself in the fake tan booth, wear so many crystals you're too heavy to walk and dance down the street because you've got to give it your all! Chris had the time of his life last year and emerged the colour of a Christmas satsuma...speaking of satsumas (satsumi?) Gavin Henson is already pretty orange, but also looks quite bewildered so needs to embrace the sparkle. Others like Pamela and Jimi already seem to be totally getting into it, so bring it on!

So with a few tweaks the winning formula now looks like this...

(Try to) dance first - day job (unless BBC news-bod) + brunette x latin pro + sparkle = VICTORY!

See you on the dancefloor...

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