Just like the movies...

So here we are...Hollywood week! Is this just film week in a new dress? Probably, but be upstanding for the least annoying of the themed weeks! Don't prove me wrong Strictly...After the pant-wetting excitement of our trip to the show last week this might be a more sedate affair, unless we get some real showstoppers that is!

Speaking of show-stoppers, the opening pro number was indeed fab-u-ous, although the cameraman obviously has a thing for Kristina. Darcey out-dresses Tess, but only just, this could be a whole new competition area to look forward to! Also laughed at Craig as the Tin Man, especially as it looked like he had a pair of silver knickers on his head!

Fern and Artem
Why do these two always dance so early on in the show? It doesn't matter, because they look so delightful, delightful I tell you! Artem looks strangely at home as an unlikely cockney chimney sweep in a pastel deckchair jacket, who would've thunk? This was positively charming, but could have done with a bit more content. Although it was nowhere near as annoying as James and Alex's infamous hat-on-hat-off Charleston. And woo for the back-jazz-split, it sounds even fancier than it looked.

Victoria and Brendan
Ooh we love a man in uniform, and Victoria looks fabulous. However, the dress may have to be put on trial for treason after sabotaging a national Olympic hero like that. When she put his hat on at the end there was a 'ooooh' in this house, as early rumbas go it was pretty good. Certainly not cringe-worthy, I'm looking all the way back at you Carol Voderman, you've done and rumba and survived, job done.

Michael and Natalie
Oh after that jive last week, couldn't they have spared us and given him a ballroom. And no more props, he nearly took someones eye out with that axe last week. Although Natalie did seem to resort to the 'sitting down for a bit' tactic, this wasn't nearly as bad as it could of been. As in he did the steps. But someone needs to explain the difference between 'hip action' and 'wiggling your bum' to him. It's also a bit distracting when you're constantly waiting for someone to whip their trousers off!

Jerry and Anton
Remember how I was commenting that Jerry doesn't like to expend a lot of energy when dancing? Imagine how I laughed when she turned up in her dressing gown! Well this was all a bit of a lumpy mashed potato, wasn't it? She was also in Batman, wasn't she? Would have loved to have seen Anton dressed as Batman!

Sid and Ola
Ola has brought out the catsuit, a nation rejoices! Sid looks like a 90s volleyball player. The tango part of this wasn't so bad, alas that was only about half of the dance, I wanted to smash that guitar over someones head! Speaking of over heads, why was he looking at the ceiling the whole time? We love you Sid, but that was a horror!

Kimberley and Pasha
Now there's a new trick, it wasn't Kimberley sitting down, it was Pasha! Hope he hasn't got any splinters in his bum from sliding on that bench. Loved her flouncy costume and the general fizzy-ness of the quickstep. Not a classic, but certainly the best dance so far of the night. This is what Hollywood week should be about!

Denise and James
What's happened with Denise's eyelashes? She looks like she's been attacked by two spiders! And that's before we get on to the outfits...I've stopped saying James has the eyes of a serial killer, but that costume is a bit too close to the clown-scale for me. And of course, it was an amazing foxtrot, you know the drill, start complaining now.  

Colin and Kristina
It wasn't Karen and Ramps, I was tempted not to watch it (genuinely, I needed a wee!). But of course I did, and considering all the training issues it was ok, Kristina put together a good routine but also managed to forget half of her dress. The lifts were Dancing On Ice worthy!

Richard and Erin
Erin is in the trousers of DOOM, why is she not dressed as Dolly Parton?! A gold opportunity gone, just like that, shame on you BBC. I did however love the footage of her looking distinctly unimpressed at the Daybreak studios. As for the dance, you can't not do a good quickstep with Erin, it's just not allowed. Thought the footwork was pretty good, lots of content, although he needs to stop doing his Thunderbirds face!

Dani and Vincent
Another golden opportunity missed, there was a chance to literally dress them as munchkins! Dani does look lovely though, a very nice interpretation of the outfit. And those shoes Vincent brought for her? I wore those exact ones in blue to Strictly last week! This was a lovely dance, a lot of work had obviously gone into it and it paid off, well done to both of them. I even liked the dog, I must be going soft in my old age...

Lisa and Robin
They look mental, but endearingly so. Crikey, this was a fast dance, don't think they could have stopped if they'd tried! Kicks might not have been as sharp as they could be, but their syncopation was amazingly good. Can't wait to see more from these guys.

Nicky and Karen
I'm scared...bring back Pasha as Shrek! However, this was easily his best dance, despite the we're-going-into-hold-oh-no-we-aren't tease moment. Probably a bit overmarked, but the marking has been all over the shop tonight!

Louis and Flavia
Pimp slot again, but who can blame them. We've counted this is about the fourth time this song has been used on SCD, but we'll have to let that go for tonight. I know 'the salsa' isn't actually a dance (Clover is looking/glaring at me), but it was basically the dance from Dirty Dancing and not a salsa. But yes, show-stopper all round and not stupid props, huzzah!