Saturday, 7 September 2013

Three Dancing Dads and Other Tales of Woe. I Mean Wow.

Strictly Come Dancing: the school of 2013.
Sophie and....Brendan!
Sophie is looking like a spangly Jackie-O, totally loving it. Really liking her partnered with Brendan too, he's one of our faves and should see her through all those Murder on the Dancefloor puns.

Firstly. I have heard of her. This year, that is majorly important, having had to Google most of the contestants, and being none the wiser after that with some. She - result of the single mother scandal of the 70s - and of course, pop star extraordinaire for a year or two. I think she's a middle serieser. 

Natalie and...Artem!
Well this is an exciting pairing, Artem isn't the first person I would chosen for her but I'm not dying to see how it turns out. We know he can bring some great choreography and I've already decided I can't wait to see them do a tango!
Natalie we love. This is because she loves Strictly. In an Alesha-before-she-DEFECTED-YES-DEFECTED-to-the-other-side way. This is always endearing. I worry for her as a Safety Car a la Denise. Yet she seems warmer than Denise. And these excellent dancers (she was rocking it in the group number) can win. Look at Kara. If I had any advice for Natalie, it would be to not (ffs a split infinitive I cannot be bothered to rectify) start off too good. Leave a smidgen of room for a journey. I was hoping she would partner Pasha but Artem, yeah, I can see these two going all the way. Ahem. 

Deborah and...Robin!
As much as I like Deborah, I was kinda hoping Robin might get a bit more of a ringer since he really has paid his dues over the last few years. I'm sure they'll have a rollocking good time though, with much giggling! 
This partnership was almost a no brainer and I don't know why. Why does Robin never get someone with a eensie bit of a chance? What is so lovely about Robin however is that I believe he truly, genuinely doesn't mind. Such a nice guy. Deborah. I love that she's on. As Frankie has said earlier, she's kind of just a normal, regular person. Who happens to make a lot of money. 

Rachel and...Pasha!
Wow, Pasha does well for himself! After coming second and third you'd think he'd have to escort one of the older ladies this year, but has instead bagged himself the youngest. Not that we don't mind seeing more of Pasha, but we shouldn't also assume Rachel is going to be amazing. Time will tell, ladies and gents...
So much publicity about this one. I didn't know who she was. But as Frankie said, I'm not a dad and I have a job. So why would I be watching her on Countdown? There seems to be an expectation of her to be good. But why? She's clever and beautiful but she's not a show-person. And looked a tad ungainly in the group dance. I suspect from that she has a long way to go...but on Strictly that is not always a bad thing. 

Patrick and...Anya!
Bit on an unknown quantity, these two, I really don't know what to make of them yet. Sorry guys, can't even think of anything funny to say, I have failed as a blogger!
I didn't know his name. But when I sought the power of La Google, I did know his face. He stood out as good in the group number. And for some reason, for the brief moment we saw Anya engage with him, she reminded me of Lilia. In a bonkers way. And we do oh so miss her. So could these guys be dark horses? 

Ashley and...Ola!
Ashley really has looked petrified about the whole thing so far, poor lamb. I was literally chanting Ola's name for her to get him and she did, I'm so happy. I think they'll make a great couple, might even cheekily tip them for the final already (this was possibly the kiss of death, sorry guys!)
I had no idea who he was. Googled him. Still no idea. But he looks nice in his dance gear. And looked like he was dancing in time. Could Ola be our first pro to win twice? 

Julien and...Janette!
The shrieking, the shrieking! Well considering it's been in the papers that he's the only celeb she's heard of, that turned out pretty well. Remember guys, it's not all about the dresses, you need some choreography in there too!
He's obvs a fan and he clearly is going to embrace the sparkle. If he can dance a wee bit he could be this year's Lisa Riley. 

Tony and...Aliona!
Aliona's acting skills have certainly come on since last series. Someone totally has it in for her, sacking her, bringing her back and then making her dance with a man who's nearly 70. Really liking her strawberry blonde curls though, and all the pro women outfits tonight actually! 
Never heard of him. Never heard of any golfer apart from that one who cheats on his wife a lot. Have just been informed (hello Jacky!) this one won the Open Golf in my home town at some point in the depths of time. Small tidbit of info there. I know you will have enjoyed that so much. Aliona, however, oh she does not look best pleased in the photos I've seen on Twitter. Snigger. 

Abbey and...Aljaz!
It looks like we've got a new Strictly Barbie and Ken for this series! I also pledge to learn how to pronounce Aljaz's name this series. Although, after seeing them talking to each other at the end of the show I'm a bit wary as to whether they can understand what each other is saying...
Oh Abbey. It's nothing personal but. It's just that she is, and I mean this in the nicest way I can, only-really-mostly famous for being Mrs-That-Footballer-Guy-Wot-Did-The-Robot. Ok yes she's a model. But she's no Moss or Kidd, famous in her own right. Yes, she's had a few modelling jobs. But, having her on Strictly is actually the equivalent of shutting your eyes, taking a random stab at someone in the Next Directory and saying “oh, she’ll do.” She may be able to dance. And she seems quite sweet. And still. She is on the show so we take it from here and say no more on the matter. 

Fiona and...Anton!
Well we all saw that coming! She's a bona fide old-school SCD fan as far as I can see, so if she says she's happy with Anton I'll take her word for it and wish her all the best!
Never heard of her. She actually seemed to do very well in the group number. But any hopes of a Pam Jam situation are thwarted by the fact she's with Anton. If he can get over himself enough to put some effort into latin dances they may have a chance of making it a few weeks, but I fear that may be as likely as Bruce donning a tutu and twerking with a turkey. 

Vanessa and...James!
This is totally genius, can't wait for weeks on end of bickering between these two and I'm not being sarcastic. James needs someone to bounce off and make him work and that's definitely going to happen here. Bring it on!
Fireworks. And omzg. Her face in the group number. Classic. And because we all love a tidbit. Vanessa Feltz attended the Haberdashers School for Girls. And now she is going to be covered in sequins. It’s like fate. Only really not.
Susanna and...Kevin!
I'm not sure where I am with Susanna, loads of people think she's going to be really good but I'm not so sure. Quite looking forward to seeing Kevin on the dancefloor too, if only cos he's a fellow northerner!
Never heard of her. Or him. A new British pro shocker! Grimsby Lols. Innit.

Dave and...Karen!
Well this is quite a mismatched pairing. He's totally enthusiastic though, so all Karen has to do is neutralise the dad dancing. 
Karen did a good job with Nicky last year. Her work is cut out more so this year. The war is on for this year's comedy pairing. There are so many options but only one usually stands out and the rest fall by the wayside. Who will it be? 

Ben and...Kristina!
Wow, Kristina was happy with this and I don't blame her! Nice to see the top-billed hunk of the year going to one of the seasoned pros too. Let's get Kristina flexing her choreography muscles once again, while Ben will probably show us his actual muscles quite regularly. 
I suspecto he was meant for Natalie. This is because of the height difference. Yet I am glad he's with Kristina. I like Ben. I had never heard of him (yes, yes, recurring theme) but from what I have read, he's a very good egg. The best egg is a Creme Egg. So he must be one of those. In addition to liking Ben, I like Kristina. Who is less of an egg and more of a caramel bunny. If we're rolling with that theme. 

Mark and...Iveta
Surely she paid her dues with Johnny Ball? And can we stop saying she's a new pro too? It's weird! Although as Mark's been on tour with Hairspray recently he might be a bit more experienced than he's letting on.
It's going to be battle of the dad dancers between Mark, Da Hairy One and That Golfer. Could they be the first three out? Could one of them actually do a good job? The group dance didn't show much hope of that. But perhaps one of these pros could work a Natalie Lowesque miracle. Stranger things have happened. MICHAEL VAUGHAN! MICHAEL VAUGHAN! 

Group dance
The Annual Group Dance of Doom was not nearly as doom-ful as you would expect, I was a tad disappointed actually. A quick scan of the contestants gave me...Rachel looking petrified, Sophie being full of poise but maybe not dancing, Susanna bringing some serious Karen Hardy face and a dad dancing trio exiled to the stairs...Strictly is back!

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