'The Rumble'

What, you may ask, is 'The Rumble'? Well, besides being a muscle contraction that is result of incomplete digestion (I think you'll find the correct term is borborygmus), and something that is known to happen occasionally in the jungle, 'The Rumble' has recently been given (well, by me, just now) a whole new meaning. It is blend of two words: 'rumba' and 'stumble' - and refers to the horrific car-crash TV that comes of a male celebrity (often a sportsman) trying to dance the rumba. Winner Darren Gough was not a fan of this dance at all and even Mark 'The Hips' Ramprakash struggled; in fact, Colin Jackson is the only sportsman not to have fallen at this particular hurdle. Snigger. Hurdle. Lol.



Here are our opinions on this week's dances.




Tom and Camilla

Well, excellent song choice. Perhaps the best of the series so far, actually. I didn't think Len would like all the prancing about at the beginning and end, but Tom does it with such pizzazz that I don't think even hardcore-traditionalist Len can resist being charmed by it. I preferred Austin's - though I suspect Frankie will disagree - am I right?

Well, actually....after a tap-tastic start I had really high hopes for this dance, but the rest of it didn’t really thrill me. Once more technically brilliant and it certainly deserved the 36 points, but it didn’t have the wow factor really, I still preferred their jive! Tom’s fabulous shoes* cancelled out Camilla’s dress thankfully.

Ooh yes, I forgot to mention the spats!

Jodie and Ian

Was I taken in by the song? I suggested this track on a Strictly forum about a month ago and am now convinced Ian is stalking me (seriously...no, not seriously...I'm definitely not serious). Not sure about Jodie's dress...did I like it? Did I not?...if Karen was the Quality Street fudge in week one, then I think Jodie was the coconut one tonight - which at least suits the samba. Well, whatever, I did love this, although I did have a very cheeky Um Bongo in my hand at time of viewing. Overall it was as camp as sturdy wood gadgets all tied up with string.

The dress looked like something Jem from Jem and the Holograms would wear, but I love it all the same! Plus its always fascinating watching Ian doing the samba- he’s just too good at it for a skinny white boy! And he was a very special shade of orange tonight! Ok it wasn’t the best dance in the world but I really thought Jodie was enjoying herself and it certainly didn’t deserve the mauling from the judges.

Heather and Bryan

Not bad. Would have preferred music with a flavour of traditional tango. I don't want to be a pedant because some unconventional tracks REALLY do work (Maneater was inspired) but on the whole, this year, I've come to the conclusion that the more tango-ey the tango music, the more tango-ey the tango and the more tango-ey the tango can be, um, the better, I guess.

This was definitely one of Heather’s better dances, but it took me a while to work that out because the song choice was so distracting! I always like a bit of Bowie, but if they’d chosen a traditional tango track it would have been so much more dramatic.

Austin and Erin
Austin hated the rumba so much he punched himself in the face. I didn't think it was that bad actually, but it does seem to be a recurring problem with male celebs (apart from those who actually are in love with their pro partners, naming no names, *cough Matt* *cough Di Angelo*) Erin the evil genius wasn't genius enough to get them out of this one.

As we exclusively revealed this week Erin is an evil genius and she was going to need every weapon in her arsenal to get a good rumba. The bow tie trick didn’t bode well (as we know props are the last refuge of the desperate) but it was better than I thought it was going to be. The 5 from Craig was definitely harsh, but it did indeed lack that sparkle.



Cherie and James

Of course this was going to be lovely. I wish it had been a little better - a wee bit more sparkle and there may have been a ten on the cards (or on the paddles, or whatever).

The song made me want to vom, as did James’ smirk so it was hilarious when Len started going on about her footwork! The waltz isn’t the most exciting of dances, but this one seemed particularly D-U-double-L. And thankfully they have finally caught on to the fact that Cherie is terrible at Latin!

Christine and Matthew

Fantastic dress. I was sitting watching this with some friends and all of us approved of the fringing. This was perky and cute. A pleasure to watch.

Christine bagged the best dress of the night and did her best dance so far! It was as if she was channelling the legendary Karen Hardy spirit. Glad to see her back in the game!


Rachel and Vincent

In comparison to her other 'performances' I really liked this. But, nonetheless, I wasn't all that surprised she was in the dance-off. She's got the curse of great expectation and when it's not delivered, buh-bye. Ooh, though, I liked her hair and thought she looked stunning. For a shrunken down regular person. Wee Vincent's choreography was a wee bit 'look what I can do while my celeb stands there and bops.'

Vincent pulls off a great bit of choreography once more with a lively but classy routine. The quickstep basis was a really good idea and the song was cool. Hurrah for Len liking it, I don’t think I would have taken another week of his grumpy-ness!

John and Kristina

Hmmm, am I finally getting bored? Perhaps. I really am beginning to think that John is being purposefully bad now because in weeks one and three, he wasn't bad at all......and I know that was ballroom but now he is bad of the Rhodes kind...and it makes no sense. Kristina had choreographed the basic cha cha step...which is not hard at all...and it was wrong. Very wrong. And off the beat. And I know very little about this kind of thing. John, quit playing about. He'll be out the week after next. After a Logangate-esque elimination.

Here we are again: Kristina in the spangliest of frocks and John just wanders about. Also at one point I was fearing for his knees! And what was the thing with the phone at the beginning, did I miss something there? Although I did notice once more this week that for all his rubbish dancing skills John does have amazing timing.

Lisa and Brendan

Ah, and so we are back to the over-marking. I didn't get the big deal. It was nice, but meh.

It will take a lot to top Brendan and Kelly’s Delilah Viennese Waltz from last year in my book, but I thought this was another brilliant bit of work from Brendan! The song was overblown and cheesy, which somehow turned out to be perfect. I thought we were hovering around a 10 after that rapturous reception from the judges, alas no, but everyone really seemed to have upped their game this week.

A few notes about the results show...

OK, for some reason I haven't really anything to say...

Next week could be interesting. I have the feeling John could stay in another week...and we may be saying goodbye to someone we don't want to. As I say, I think he's starting to play up on being awful but cutesy to get the votes in...and yes, it's been endearing...however, John, your plan has now been well and truly rumbled. Time for tubby bye-bye.